Women Self Defence!

Discussion in 'General Self Defense' started by kravmaga1, Jan 12, 2018.

  1. gpseymour

    gpseymour Sr. Grandmaster

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    I think many survivors (of both bullying and other trauma) are as surprised as the instructor at what triggers them and how quickly/strongly. From an instructor's standpoint, the first step (if you don't know in advance) is to catch the reaction early and get them feeling safe. After that, it's a matter of figuring out how to work them back to the situation so they can work past it.
     
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  2. AngryHobbit

    AngryHobbit Black Belt

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    I like this approach.

    I think my biggest mistake was trying to just ... barrel through things, hoping if I do, the effect would somehow be less. Instead, I only made things worse for myself because the pressure just built up and then I went kapui.
     
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  3. hoshin1600

    hoshin1600 Master of Arts

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    yes i agree. that is why i tell them not to be surprised when it happens. i make it sound causal like it happens all the time and its no big deal.
     
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  4. Ondrejmatej

    Ondrejmatej White Belt

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    Self-defense helps women protect themselves and their family. In my opinion, this is the most important reason for women to learn self-defense, because it is the difference between life and death.
     
  5. Marie_Flowers88

    Marie_Flowers88 White Belt

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    As a woman, we should learn how to defend ourselves from attackers. There are bad guys nowadays which target is woman mainly because they see us as weak when it comes to fighting. Take it from the news, there are cases of rapes and woman being abused. If only all women realized that we really need to learn how to defend ourselves, I can call that feminism. There is no a man that will always be there 24/7 to protect us. I hope I answered your question :)
     
  6. Tez3

    Tez3 Sr. Grandmaster

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    90% of rapes and abuse are done by someone known to the victim who is quite often groomed by that person. Look at the American gymnastic doctor and the UK football coach as well as the Jimmy Saville scandal. The problem is telling who the 'attackers' are. The UK football coach targeted boys, not girls.
    Defending ourselves is more than just learning to fight.
     
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  7. pdg

    pdg Yellow Belt

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    I don't know if it's the done thing, but mainly in reply to @JR 137 post on the first page (with other randomness thrown in)...

    While having a plan is better than no plan, maybe leaving it until they're on the cusp of womanhood is too late? It's a time of change, of them discovering (or self confirming) that they're a person entirely in their own right and implementing a compulsory defence programme at that point will likely be met with huge resistance - the stereotypical "you can't tell me what to do!" stage.

    The parallel was drawn with school education, that it's compulsory so they go. But what would the outcome be if they hadn't had compulsory education up to that point? Without the previous ~8 years experience would everyone just accept it?

    I've seen reports of 10/11 year old girls being assaulted by teenage boys (and a single instance is enough to categorically state "it can happen") so again, is 13 soon enough?

    My daughter is 5 (6 in a few weeks) and she's been attending the same MA club as me (in different classes) for almost 2 years now. While I'm certainly under no illusion that she's in any way capable of physical self defence it's a primer. It's also a confidence building exercise. They hold gradings (so she's got used to the whole performing her moves in front of an examiner), they do padwork drills etc. Very soon she should be going for her black belt (yes, ok, it's essentially a black belt in turning up, but it means something to her - and to me and the club it means she's shown willing for a third of her life) - this 'qualifies' her to join the junior classes a year sooner (in her case) than usual.

    What I'm getting at in a very roundabout way is that starting her when I did means that it's just a normal thing - it's not a new and alien concept being foisted upon her when she's of an age where she's likely looking for an excuse to rebel. Right now she's looking forward to doing the family TKD classes with me as well as the junior kickboxing classes with my son (her older brother, somewhat obviously).

    I just think it's my responsibility as a parent to help prepare my kids for the bad times just as much as the good, that sometimes violence happens and the only solution (hopefully last resort) is to meet it with returned violence - and the time to start that preparation isn't in some arbitrarily appointed date in the future. The best time to start is in the past, the second best time is now.
     
  8. JR 137

    JR 137 Senior Master

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    I agree with everything you’ saying here. My point wasn’t they’ll have to wait until that age; I picked around that age as the latest. And that age as a time where the training will be relatively serious vs ‘promoting because they showed up’ as you put it.

    Someone bashed me a little bit because of my view. That’s his prerogative. I get it; it’s because all we have here is some words on paper and not the whole story which will never come through this medium no matter how hard we try.

    My 7 year old daughter trained karate with me for about a year. She loved it for most of the time but then got bored. She reached the point where she thought she had it down and it became too repetitive for her. I had her go a few times after she started saying she didn’t want to go to make sure it wasn’t a thing where she just wanted to do something else that day. I backed off because I didn’t want to push her too hard at that age and make her hate going in the future.

    I just want my daughters to be able to physically defend themselves when they get to the age where I think the threat becomes realistic. I know it could happen at ANY age and grappling skills aren’t the ONLY way, but they’re definitely effective when all other ways have failed. IMO effective grappling skills such as judo, BJJ, and wrestling are far more effective for a young lady and older than kicking and punching are when trying to prevent a larger person from dragging them and attempting to put them in their back. Obviously the physical skills are a last resort, and that’s why I’ll have them complete a women’s SD course that’s offered in my area by a local police department.

    I guess it became real when I read a blog written by a former police officer who also ran a BJJ school. He said before his teenage daughter leaves the house to go out with her friends, he mounts her and won’t let her out until she can get him to tap out. His pre-teen daughter had to get out of a standing wrist grab or a standing choke from behind. His friends and family give him a hard time until he tells them (paraphrased) “if you saw what I see every day, you wouldn’t let them leave the house. This is a good compromise.” He was a cop who worked in sex crimes.

    While I won’t go that far, I’ll be a lot more comfortable knowing that they’ve proven they can reasonably defend themselves from that. It obviously won’t be foolproof and they won’t be able to escape every single encounter, but it’ll increase their odds far better than doing nothing.

    My girls are the love of my life. If I’m not teaching them to take care of themselves, which partly includes defending themselves (within reason), exactly what am I doing? If I’m not teaching my daughters to avoid situations like that and what to do when that avoidance failed, I’m not giving them the best chance I can.
     
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  9. pdg

    pdg Yellow Belt

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    Initially it appeared as though that was the age you'd chosen and were intending to stick to - that's the thing with forum discussions though, there's no inflection, no visual cues... This conversation in a pub would take minutes instead of days ;)

    The bit about my daughter being (currently) a brown belt in showing up - it runs deeper. When we started she took some convincing to leave us (parents) and join in, seeing her now being the first to volunteer to demonstrate or showing newer members how to hold a pad illustrates the confidence boost. Maybe she'd have developed like that anyway, maybe not (I have no control sample...) As long as it doesn't go into overconfidence it's nothing but good.

    The experience you had with your daughter and karate mirrors what I had with my 8 year old son and tkd. He did quite well for a time and enjoyed it, but the structure of theory, terminology and patterns just didn't sit well with him - he started kickboxing not long before stopping tkd and that's a much better fit.

    I understand your reasoning about grappling and it's something I'd like my kids to try too - if it fits their instinct better then it's more suitable...

    Your cop example to my mind is taking it a bit extreme, but his approach is based on his (over) exposure to those events - like you intend he's doing the best he can to prepare his children for his perceived level of risk.
     
  10. Tez3

    Tez3 Sr. Grandmaster

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    I had to read that twice to actually see you meant he went into mount position, because mounting her means something very, very different and quite horrifying when a father does it. No, not posting jokingly.
     
  11. JR 137

    JR 137 Senior Master

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    Yeah. I tried different ways to say it, and that’s the best I could come up with. My command of the English language is questionable at times :)
     
  12. pdg

    pdg Yellow Belt

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    Is this maybe a case of English being a different language to English or just a contextual slip?
     
  13. Tez3

    Tez3 Sr. Grandmaster

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    I don't know but was a bit shocked to read it.
     
  14. hoshin1600

    hoshin1600 Master of Arts

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    on a martial arts forum we all know what you mean.....out in general public...well.....o_O
     

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