Ten Ways To Kill Someone With A Straw

Discussion in 'General Weapons Discussion' started by kenpofighter, May 29, 2008.

  1. kenpofighter

    kenpofighter Green Belt

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    Have any of you heard about the ten ways to kill someone with a straw and twelve if you count the paper? I have googled it but didn't find anywhere where it actually said how this is done. It seems to be some big secret! Did I get out of the loop somewhere?
     
  2. OnlyAnEgg

    OnlyAnEgg Senior Master

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    it might be at realultimatepower
     
  3. Skip Cooper

    Skip Cooper Purple Belt

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    :hb: Great! Now I have to carry a staw with me everywhere I go...need to get a utility belt like Batman so I can carry all of my unassuming self defense weapons.
     
  4. thardey

    thardey Master Black Belt

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    Method #1:

    Hold the straw in front of the attacker's face. Say "I know ten ways to kill you with this straw, twelve if you count the paper." While they are distracted by trying to imagine how you could possibly kill them using a straw, knee them in the groin as hard as you can.

    Methods #2-#12

    Substitute "knee them in the groin" above for "punch them in the throat," "draw your gun and shoot them," "Stab them with a knife," etc. (There are actually more than twelve ways to do this, but you get the idea.
     
  5. shesulsa

    shesulsa Columbia Martial Arts Academy

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    :lfao:
     
  6. Xue Sheng

    Xue Sheng All weight is underside

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    I don't know a straw and a glass of hemlock could be 1

    I'm sure there are at least 9 other nasty things you could offer an attacker to drink as well and as for the paper, paper gut Ginsu I guess

    :D
     
  7. Touch Of Death

    Touch Of Death Sr. Grandmaster

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    I'll just try to think of as many as I can... Hmmm
    1. I work with a lot of cyanide, MEK, Nitric Acid, Nitric Hydrochloride and what not; so.... I guess I could dip it in one of those chemicals while holding the other end with my thumb and just let it drip into your coffee or Pepsi.
    2. I could knock you out with a punch and then, while you were unconcious, pinch the end and slowly work at the flesh over the jugular until I hit paydirt.
    3. Shove it up your nose
    4. Shove it down your throat.
    5. Take half the straw cut one half into tiny little pieces, melt them down and make sophisticated little poison darts, and or just make them sharp and use the other part of the straw as a dart gun, spit itnto eyes and throat.

    (my girlfriend needs a ride i will come up with more later)
    Sean
     
  8. kenpofighter

    kenpofighter Green Belt

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    You guys are really funny! Look on Google yourself and see what you can find.
     
  9. kenpofighter

    kenpofighter Green Belt

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    Oh! For the record, honestly not bad ideals!
     
  10. thardey

    thardey Master Black Belt

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    Seriously, that's what I was taught!

    I figured it was a figure of speech, like "He'll kill you so fast you'd forget to lie down!"

    "I'll hit you so hard your cousin feels it!"

    That kind of thing.
     
  11. tellner

    tellner Senior Master

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    I can think of ten different ways to kill someone. It doesn't matter whether he has a straw or not.
     
  12. kenpofighter

    kenpofighter Green Belt

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    Ok, ok, thardey. I had a really good feeling that it would be something like that. But if that is the case it looks like anyone could make up whatever they wanted. Which we all just proved nicely. Congratulations to everyone so far who gave me ten ways.
     
  13. bowser666

    bowser666 2nd Black Belt

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    it can be used as a small dart gun :) Poison tipped darts of course
     
  14. jks9199

    jks9199 Administrator Staff Member

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    10 ways to kill with a straw...

    cocaine
    heroin
    methamphetamine
    oxycodone
    ritalin
    ketamine
    fentanyl
    nicotine
    amphetamine

    Wrapper:
    LSD
    PCP


    OK... more seriously, this seems like a silly thing someone said. One of my instructors once asked me how I could use an index card to hurt/kill someone. Ideas we came up with included whips across the eyes -- which could blind them. In very hypothetical situations, you might be able to nick the carotid with a really deep paper cut... And, if everything goes right, I suppose you could drive a straw into someone much like a knife.

    I do know that prisoners have melted straws to make shanks or shank handles.

    But this is almost certainly simply a legend/exageration.
     
  15. MA-Caver

    MA-Caver Sr. Grandmaster

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    Not for the faint of heart... cut one end of straw at an angle so there's a sharp point then jab that pointed end into the eye (your choice left or right) and suck out their eyeballs...

    hey it won't kill 'em but they'll never see you coming again. :uhyeah:
     
  16. stickarts

    stickarts Senior Master

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    I don't know of 10 ways but I did actually take a class where we learned how to puncture using a straw. We actually did it and practiced by puncturing hard potatoes, showing that if you can do that you can puncture flesh. It sounds funny but I was actually pretty surprised and it did seem like it worked. By the end of the class I was able to drive the straw all the way through the potato.
     
  17. Sukerkin

    Sukerkin Have the courage to speak softly

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    The straw 'dagger' is one of thse myths with just a hint of truth in the background that makes it persist. Close one end of the straw with a finger/thumb and strike with it perfectly straight and it can penetrate more effectively than might first be imagined.

    But that's about it. It's more a touchstone of 'improvised weaponry' from spy-legends than anything else.

    Edit: Stickarts beat me to the core of the matter :D.
     
  18. Ninjamom

    Ninjamom 2nd Black Belt

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    Sukerkin, maybe you can comment on this rumour I heard:

    Is it true that in Great Britain, the MPs are working on legislation to outlaw carrying of concealed drinking straws?
     
  19. jks9199

    jks9199 Administrator Staff Member

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    I'd be interested to know if you tried that on a slab of meat, too? One of the secrets behind many of the "chop a vegetable on a student's stomach" sword tricks is that you can chop veggies... but not meat, so if you keep to a chop, with no draw, it's very unlikely to cut the person's stomach, but the vegetable will go flying. (I used to cut onions in my own hand as a stunt...) I'm not suggesting that it won't work, but I'd like to see...
     
  20. tellner

    tellner Senior Master

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    A straw cut on the bias, not so much.

    A nice strong piece of bamboo cut on the bias, t3|-| d3adl33...123
     

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