Signs your Ninja training might be questionable at best

Discussion in 'Ninjutsu' started by Bester, Sep 2, 2010.

  1. Bester

    Bester <font color=blue><B>Grand UberSoke, Sith-jutsu Ryu

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    1- Your instructor is named "Master Sony" or "Master Magnavox".
    2- Instead of training at a dojo, you train in your living room in front of the tv.
    3- You want to be just like Sho Kashugi when you finish training.
    4- You consider Michael Dudikoff an inspiration.
    5- You bought your training gear at Walmart.
    6- You have studied carefully the works of Ashida Kim, Count Dante or HaHa Lung.
    7- You have a certificate showing a mastery of Dux-Ryu, Tew Ninjitsu or trained at the Golden Dragon Dojo in WNY.
    8- You spell Ninjutsu, ninjitsu.
    9- You made up your own art.
    10- Terms in your made up art are in your own made up language.
    11- You consider training to involve throwing yourself against trees at 2 am.
    12- You're ideas are constantly ridiculed on web forums populated by serious practitioners.
    13- You are a student of Ashida Kim, Rick Tew, Frank Dux, Robert Bussey or Soke Calkins.
    14- The hell with that tradition stuff, pass me the nunchucks!
    15- You think real ninjas walked around with ninja-tos, in black outfits and disappeared in puffs of smoke.


    Add yours :lol:
     
  2. seasoned

    seasoned MT Senior Moderator Staff Member

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    #16 You yell "line up" and nobody is there.
    #17 Your Ninja outfit subs for pajamas.
     
  3. Omar B

    Omar B Senior Master

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    You bought some of your ninja arsenal off of QVC.
    Your training is so secret even your instructor can't tell you about it, but it involves lots of time one on one in private with him
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 24, 2014
  4. Bob Hubbard

    Bob Hubbard Retired

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    This is your ninja sword.
    [yt]IMuZoGVz9tc[/yt]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 24, 2014
  5. Omar B

    Omar B Senior Master

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    Beat you to it Bob!
     
  6. Bob Hubbard

    Bob Hubbard Retired

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    Ah, but do you own such a magnificent weapon? I do....cuts snow blocks nicely...wouldn't trust it on anything harder. LOL!
     
  7. Bester

    Bester <font color=blue><B>Grand UberSoke, Sith-jutsu Ryu

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    You set off smoke bombs and yell out "Poof, I vanish" before diving behind the sofa.
     
  8. jks9199

    jks9199 Administrator Staff Member

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    But wouldn't a really good ninja school also yell "line up!" and have nobody visible? ;) :D
     
  9. Tanaka

    Tanaka Purple Belt

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    #18 You've been teaching a certain art(Ex. Karate), and all of a sudden you have a Ninja master teacher(that no one knew about) with ancient lineage. And you now teach Koka ryu Ninjutsu.
     
  10. Omar B

    Omar B Senior Master

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    No, I don't buy crap.

    But if I do buy a sword that would be a huge sign that I've lost my mind. Swords, who needs 'em but the insane and larpers?
     
  11. Bob Hubbard

    Bob Hubbard Retired

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    Omar, I run 3 forums, admin several more......I -am- insane. :rofl:
    Plus I own about 20+ blades....paid something like $5 for the one in question before I knew much about steel quality...or saw the video.

    As to who needs em.....I do FMA...those are all more or less blade arts, including swords. Tell a Pekiti or Sayoc they're a larper.....but please, have a camera running....it'd make a good Youtube clip. :D
     
  12. Bob Hubbard

    Bob Hubbard Retired

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    .
     

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  13. Omar B

    Omar B Senior Master

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    Those guys I have no problem with, I'm talking about full on broadswords, claymores, katana and such. I don't see myself getting into many duels in the foreseeable future.

    More to add to the thread:

    -This is your master
    [​IMG]

    -This is your training partner
    [​IMG]
     
  14. Bob Hubbard

    Bob Hubbard Retired

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    Note: Omar has rendered me comment less with the 2nd pic.
     
  15. Archangel M

    Archangel M Senior Master

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    I admit I miss the days of the ninja craze. Running around in tabi and black gi. Reading Ashida Kim and S Hayes books, watching "The Master" on TV. Running around the neighborhood on ninja missions.

    But I was 14-16 years old then.
     
  16. Omar B

    Omar B Senior Master

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    Ninja stealth!

    [​IMG]
     
  17. Omar B

    Omar B Senior Master

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    Gotta train with someone.
     
  18. Muawijhe

    Muawijhe Green Belt

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    I think only the dillusional see themselves getting into sword duels in the future. Me, I just like working with swords from a historical/hobbyist standpoint. But truth be told, and in align with what you said, I think all of us who are into iaido and koryu kenjutsu are crazy... but in a good way!

    I do consider Michael Dudikoff an inspiration! He killed many ninja regardless of what color gi they wore!

    And now that I have a black belt certificate in HakkyoKen Ninjitsu through Ashida Kim, I can be just like him!

    [​IMG]
     
  19. Grenadier

    Grenadier Administrator Staff Member

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    Careful, they may end up like the comic book character "Kick ***"


    [yt]oKjycnhKxY4[/yt]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 24, 2014
  20. Bester

    Bester <font color=blue><B>Grand UberSoke, Sith-jutsu Ryu

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    If your ninja training involves Zords or Morphing

    If your instructor shows up in the Horror Stories section of this site........more than once!

    If your training involves such real ninja weapons as a batleth, ninjato, or blades made by Hibben.

    You found your 'master' through a spam message he posted on internet forums looking for students for his 'live in training class'

    Your instructor cites training under other organizations that no one can verify. Other than as names used in Japanese Anime and US Cartoons.

    Your instructor has ever appeared in a National Geographic special and explained that his techniques can be overcome if you lift your toe or tuck your tongue.

    Your 'kia' is "OUCH!"
     

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