Discussion in 'The Locker Room Bar & Grill' started by Xue Sheng, Sep 30, 2011.
Hammer fixes everything :hammer:
What can I say, it’s only noon and it has been a long day
I have a few philosophies.
If at first you don't succeed, cheat or burn all evidence that you ever tried.
Violence repairs technology.
LOL, you guys are silly.
Duct tape repairs everything!
I like these philosophies!
Ah, yes. Emergency Repair Procedure One . If a complex electro/mechanical device is not working correctly, administer a sharp blow to restore compliance with published specifications :lol:.
This is followed up by ERP2: If ERP1 fails, administer harder blows accompanied by appropriate and dire expletives and imprecations.
The final tier in this hierarchy is ERP3: If ERP2 fails administer blows with incrementally larger hammers until the device either complies or is no longer recognisable.
And people make out that engineering is hard ... :angel:
My father said every man needs 3 thingsuct tape, toilet paper and garbage bags.
Duct tape requires patience. I'll duct tape my kids, but I just wouldn't use that amount of restraint with technology.
If it can't be fixed with duct tape and a hammer, it just ain't worth fixing. A old mechanic gave me this advice. He never ever worked on any of my cars after he gave me that gem
Actually, my tool of choice would be a Louisville Slugger :angel:
hammer works. I like it.
This is true. Duct tape cures warts. I've done it. Even had one on my nose (the horror!)
If you keep it covered with duct tape, it will go away after a couple weeks or so.
Hmmmm... I thought it was "If all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail"
Need a bigger hammer... Hammer fixes everything :hammer:
And What do you have against ducks
If it doesn't work, get a bigger hammer.
I was always amused by my friend's car. The radio and cup holder were busted. She would thump the dashboard and the cupholder would magically open and the radio would turn on. If they didn't work the first time, she'd hit the dashboard harder. Sure enough, it worked.
I have a t-shirt that has a saying in Latin, in large block letters. The translation, in small type underneath reads "There is no problem so great that it cannot be solved with the suitable application of high explosives."
My husband was angry that he was having trouble fixing some plumbing. He stalked off muttering "When in doubt, get a bigger hammer. Must find a bigger hammer." And he found one, and somehow fixed the plumbing. So when my internet connection wasn't working last week, and I was frustrated endlessly restarting the wireless hub, my 4 year old brought me his toy hammer. "Here, Mom, this will fix it," he said. Smart kid, that boy. ;-)
Starting them out young, this kid could be dangerous, down the road..........
I had one of our sales execs call me up, he says his mouse on his laptop is frozen, and he's at a really important exercise/demonstration in DC. I can't figure out why, our Linux guru can't figure out why either. We reboot, we do this, do that...nothing. Linux guru gives me a look of desperation. I tell the sales exec to power down the laptop. He does. I then tell him to flip the laptop over and take out the battery, then remove the power cord. He does. After a minute or so I tell him to put humpty dumpty back together again and reboot. He does, mouse is fixed, Linux guru and I heave a sigh of relief.
10 seconds later, our boss comes running in my office in a panic, we tell her the situation's fixed. Boss heaves a sigh of relief. Linux guru jokes "Yeah, we had to use the BIG hammer."
My boss smiles and chuckles something like "Ah, the BIG hammer. Gotta love the big hammer....." and seems to stop mid-sentence. Then she says...
Separate names with a comma.