My new philosophy

Discussion in 'The Locker Room Bar & Grill' started by Xue Sheng, Sep 30, 2011.

  1. Xue Sheng

    Xue Sheng All weight is underside

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    Hammer fixes everything :hammer:


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    What can I say, it’s only noon and it has been a long day
     
  2. Monroe

    Monroe Purple Belt

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    I have a few philosophies.

    If at first you don't succeed, cheat or burn all evidence that you ever tried.

    Violence repairs technology.
     
  3. granfire

    granfire Sr. Grandmaster

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    LOL, you guys are silly.

    Duct tape repairs everything!
     
  4. Carol

    Carol Crazy like a...

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    I like these philosophies! :D
     
  5. Sukerkin

    Sukerkin Have the courage to speak softly

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    Ah, yes. Emergency Repair Procedure One :D. If a complex electro/mechanical device is not working correctly, administer a sharp blow to restore compliance with published specifications :lol:.

    This is followed up by ERP2: If ERP1 fails, administer harder blows accompanied by appropriate and dire expletives and imprecations.

    The final tier in this hierarchy is ERP3: If ERP2 fails administer blows with incrementally larger hammers until the device either complies or is no longer recognisable.

    And people make out that engineering is hard ... :angel:
     
  6. oaktree

    oaktree Master of Arts

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    My father said every man needs 3 things:Duct tape, toilet paper and garbage bags.
     
  7. Monroe

    Monroe Purple Belt

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    Duct tape requires patience. I'll duct tape my kids, but I just wouldn't use that amount of restraint with technology.
     
  8. WC_lun

    WC_lun Senior Master

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    If it can't be fixed with duct tape and a hammer, it just ain't worth fixing. A old mechanic gave me this advice. He never ever worked on any of my cars after he gave me that gem :)
     
  9. granfire

    granfire Sr. Grandmaster

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    Actually, my tool of choice would be a Louisville Slugger :angel:
     
  10. Flying Crane

    Flying Crane Sr. Grandmaster

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    hammer works. I like it.
     
  11. Flying Crane

    Flying Crane Sr. Grandmaster

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    This is true. Duct tape cures warts. I've done it. Even had one on my nose (the horror!)

    If you keep it covered with duct tape, it will go away after a couple weeks or so.
     
  12. Nomad

    Nomad Master Black Belt

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    Hmmmm... I thought it was "If all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail"
     
  13. Xue Sheng

    Xue Sheng All weight is underside

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    Need a bigger hammer... Hammer fixes everything :hammer:


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  14. Xue Sheng

    Xue Sheng All weight is underside

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    And What do you have against ducks :confused:

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    Last edited: Sep 30, 2011
  15. Big Don

    Big Don Sr. Grandmaster

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    Simplified:
    If it doesn't work, get a bigger hammer.
     
  16. Monroe

    Monroe Purple Belt

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    I was always amused by my friend's car. The radio and cup holder were busted. She would thump the dashboard and the cupholder would magically open and the radio would turn on. If they didn't work the first time, she'd hit the dashboard harder. Sure enough, it worked.
     
  17. kegage

    kegage Green Belt

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    I have a t-shirt that has a saying in Latin, in large block letters. The translation, in small type underneath reads "There is no problem so great that it cannot be solved with the suitable application of high explosives."
     
  18. NSRTKD

    NSRTKD Green Belt

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    My husband was angry that he was having trouble fixing some plumbing. He stalked off muttering "When in doubt, get a bigger hammer. Must find a bigger hammer." And he found one, and somehow fixed the plumbing. So when my internet connection wasn't working last week, and I was frustrated endlessly restarting the wireless hub, my 4 year old brought me his toy hammer. "Here, Mom, this will fix it," he said. Smart kid, that boy. ;-)
     
  19. seasoned

    seasoned MT Senior Moderator Staff Member

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    Starting them out young, this kid could be dangerous, down the road.......... :)
     
  20. Carol

    Carol Crazy like a...

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    I had one of our sales execs call me up, he says his mouse on his laptop is frozen, and he's at a really important exercise/demonstration in DC. I can't figure out why, our Linux guru can't figure out why either. We reboot, we do this, do that...nothing. Linux guru gives me a look of desperation. I tell the sales exec to power down the laptop. He does. I then tell him to flip the laptop over and take out the battery, then remove the power cord. He does. After a minute or so I tell him to put humpty dumpty back together again and reboot. He does, mouse is fixed, Linux guru and I heave a sigh of relief.

    10 seconds later, our boss comes running in my office in a panic, we tell her the situation's fixed. Boss heaves a sigh of relief. Linux guru jokes "Yeah, we had to use the BIG hammer."

    My boss smiles and chuckles something like "Ah, the BIG hammer. Gotta love the big hammer....." and seems to stop mid-sentence. Then she says...


    "Wait....WHICH ONE?"


    Classic :D :D :D123
     

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