Fear of losing my passion, interest and motivation

isshinryuronin

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My dream is to open a dojo and teach others my own style of fighting.
What style of fighting do you do now, and what kind of style (your own) do you plan on developing? I'm also curious as to how many styles you plan on becoming an expert on before starting your own style and how long you think it will take?
 

Gerry Seymour

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It was only that low because of my work schedule. If I didn't have to work, it would easily have been 120 hours a week.
When I was younger, I might have managed that if I'd gotten into gaming then. Now, I just don't have the stamina to play all night and such.
 

skribs

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When I was younger, I might have managed that if I'd gotten into gaming then. Now, I just don't have the stamina to play all night and such.
It's not so much about stamina. Some games are just well designed to suck you in. There's always something else to do.
 

JowGaWolf

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Has anyone ever experienced this? What did you do? What do I do?
Sounds normal to me. Just do what you enjoy. Problem solved. I look at it like this. Sometimes we need to change tracks in order get to where we want. For all you know, your change in activities may help you later down the line with martial arts.


I think its happening for a lot of us right now. We can't socialize with our students, or spar, or drill together, or any of that. And its starting to take a toll.
ha ha ha.. speak for yourself. I've actually ramped up things. I'm 100% in it for me at the moment. It's easier for me now because I don't have to drive in traffic to get to the school or gym. I'm trying to make the best of the time that I have, create my videos, and think of how I'm going to buy up some prime business location due to COVID-19. I have a chance to move my school into some of the good locations where there was no availability or where it was originally too expensive. I just have to stay on track and be ready for when that time comes to snatch up the location.
 
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Ivan

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What style of fighting do you do now, and what kind of style (your own) do you plan on developing? I'm also curious as to how many styles you plan on becoming an expert on before starting your own style and how long you think it will take?
I am currently doing boxing and taekwondo, but I haven’t really considered the philosophy of the style as of yet. First of all, I imagine myself teaching people to fight rather than a fighting style. Because of this, I do my best to master all of the techniques I come across and then if I find them useful, I sketch them in a notebook along with some notes of when they should be used and how. I was thinking that if I teach everyone the techniques I find useful, or even the ones I don’t, they will all develop the best fighting styles they could that are specifically suited to their own body.

As for experience, I can’t imagine even thinking about opening a school until I reach the ten year mark, and have achieved 1st, or preferably 2nd Rank black belt, in 2 martial arts for each style of fighting. Thats is to say, 2 striking arts, 2 grappling arts, and 2 Chin Na arts (locks etc).
I am also a fan of traditional martial arts, ESPECIALLY old Okinawan Karate and Wing Chin. So I think one of my problems will be not getting sucked into too many at once because it’s incredibly tempting for me, and not getting sidetracked.

I am leaving for university soon, and they offer a wide array of martial arts. Whilst I was there, I thought I could study:
  • Judo
  • BJJ
  • Boxing
  • Taekwondo
A huge problem for me right now is picking exactly what I want to study, since they do cost money. I have been training taekwondo for 2 years but I am still only a blue belt, and I really want to reach my first black belt so I will definitely continue that. But I want to take Muay Thai too so I don’t know which to replace it with.
 

isshinryuronin

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Ivan, I applaud your enthusiasm and ambition. You may be overreaching, though, in your goals. It is almost impossible to "master" six different arts. Maybe better to really get into three arts at the most. Getting a 1st degree black belt (or equivalent) does not constitute "mastering" the art. That just means you have gotten the basics down pretty good. To really understand and become an expert in an art, having a good grasp of the subtleties and creative applications, may take 8 or 10 years per art. That is, if you want any real credibility. There are many out there that have taken a little of this and that and promote themselves to 8th degree master of "I-Van-Fu". I think you have more integrity than that and would take pride in your teaching.

Also, if you really learn and get into an art, you may find it contains a lot more than you think. For example, there are styles of karate that have joint locks, take downs, chokes, and even throws, among other nasty skills. The point is, you may not need to study 6 different arts to get a large variety of techniques. My advice is to get to at least 3rd degree (or equivalent) in two arts, then go exploring one or two others. Then, you will have enough understanding and skill to integrate them effectively. And plan on 15 or 20 years to get there. OK to have a long range goal, but keep your eye on one step at a time.
 
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Ivan

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Ivan, I applaud your enthusiasm and ambition. You may be overreaching, though, in your goals. It is almost impossible to "master" six different arts. Maybe better to really get into three arts at the most. Getting a 1st degree black belt (or equivalent) does not constitute "mastering" the art. That just means you have gotten the basics down pretty good. To really understand and become an expert in an art, having a good grasp of the subtleties and creative applications, may take 8 or 10 years per art. That is, if you want any real credibility. There are many out there that have taken a little of this and that and promote themselves to 8th degree master of "I-Van-Fu". I think you have more integrity than that and would take pride in your teaching.

Also, if you really learn and get into an art, you may find it contains a lot more than you think. For example, there are styles of karate that have joint locks, take downs, chokes, and even throws, among other nasty skills. The point is, you may not need to study 6 different arts to get a large variety of techniques. My advice is to get to at least 3rd degree (or equivalent) in two arts, then go exploring one or two others. Then, you will have enough understanding and skill to integrate them effectively. And plan on 15 or 20 years to get there. OK to have a long range goal, but keep your eye on one step at a time.
I have always known black belts are just the start of the real journey - like becoming a legal adult. I guess mastering isn't the right word, but I do aim to at least achieve a notable level of proficiency. Thanks for your insight sir.
 

_Simon_

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Sometimes we need to change tracks in order get to where we want. For all you know, your change in activities may help you later down the line with martial arts.

Well said! In my case years ago, it wasn't until I left my old style that it spurred on immense passion for MA that has been taken to new depths nowadays that I would never have fathomed. Night and day difference in my motivation, depth of training and the meaning and purpose I find in it now.

When you follow your heart and intuition, one thing truly does lead to another and takes on a life of its own when you trust it.
 

Flying Crane

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Well said! In my case years ago, it wasn't until I left my old style that it spurred on immense passion for MA that has been taken to new depths nowadays that I would never have fathomed. Night and day difference in my motivation, depth of training and the meaning and purpose I find in it now.

When you follow your heart and intuition, one thing truly does lead to another and takes on a life of its own when you trust it.
Not every system is a good fit for every person. Not every teacher is the right teacher for every person.

When you find one or the other, that’s a great place to be. When you find both together, then it is amazing and you just drink it up and never feel like you've had enough.
 

PhilE

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What I'd say is, as soon as my training looses some focus an idiot appears to remind me why I started martial arts in the first place.

As there are no shortage of idiots in this world, I'll be forever training.
 

skribs

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I've been struggling with this for the last week. One of my coworkers had contact with someone who tested positive. I talked to my Master, and he told me to take a break until my coworker's test results came back. They came back today (he's negative), and my Master told me to go ahead and come back on Monday (when we still have class today and tomorrow).

Normally, when the school is on break (or I'm sick and starting to feel better) there's this itch to get back to class. If I get told to stay home, I'm usually anxious to get back and try and plead my way back early. But today...I just accepted it. I don't feel that itch. I don't feel that same drive. I feel like I'm there more out of obligation (to do whatever I can to help the school push through), than I am out of passion.

Doing the online classes has been better than nothing for a lot of our students. But I don't know if I can keep it up. It's become like a long-distance relationship (which I had several of, mostly with girls I played World of Warcraft with). We get to do forms together, but that's about it. There's no sparring. There's no tossing each other down. There's no trying to one-up each other. I don't get much of a chance to chat before and after class.

I know I've gotten flack for it in other threads, but I'm dreading going back on Monday, when we re-open, and there's going to be more time spent on COVID-19 safety measures than actual class; and the actual class is going only be half of an actual class. It will be slightly better than video training, but with a ton of extra work. In some ways, it may be worse, because a number of the students will have their faces obscured (everyone will wear masks, but a lot of us are going the face-shield route), so it's even less personal than online.

I'm at a point where I don't know if my mental health is going to be better or worse by going or not going. I know I need to be there to do what I can. I know my Master is really stressed out, too, and I don't want to add to it. But these restrictions are definitely taking a toll on me.
 

Headhunter

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What I'd say is, as soon as my training looses some focus an idiot appears to remind me why I started martial arts in the first place.

As there are no shortage of idiots in this world, I'll be forever training.
Yep I have this friend who for no better word Is a wannabe. He always talks about how he’s going to work out every day, start prize fighting. Run a marathon. Then he doesn’t and then he makes up such obvious lies and I think to myself. I don’t want to be him I want to actually have real achievements
 

_Simon_

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I've been struggling with this for the last week. One of my coworkers had contact with someone who tested positive. I talked to my Master, and he told me to take a break until my coworker's test results came back. They came back today (he's negative), and my Master told me to go ahead and come back on Monday (when we still have class today and tomorrow).

Normally, when the school is on break (or I'm sick and starting to feel better) there's this itch to get back to class. If I get told to stay home, I'm usually anxious to get back and try and plead my way back early. But today...I just accepted it. I don't feel that itch. I don't feel that same drive. I feel like I'm there more out of obligation (to do whatever I can to help the school push through), than I am out of passion.

Doing the online classes has been better than nothing for a lot of our students. But I don't know if I can keep it up. It's become like a long-distance relationship (which I had several of, mostly with girls I played World of Warcraft with). We get to do forms together, but that's about it. There's no sparring. There's no tossing each other down. There's no trying to one-up each other. I don't get much of a chance to chat before and after class.

I know I've gotten flack for it in other threads, but I'm dreading going back on Monday, when we re-open, and there's going to be more time spent on COVID-19 safety measures than actual class; and the actual class is going only be half of an actual class. It will be slightly better than video training, but with a ton of extra work. In some ways, it may be worse, because a number of the students will have their faces obscured (everyone will wear masks, but a lot of us are going the face-shield route), so it's even less personal than online.

I'm at a point where I don't know if my mental health is going to be better or worse by going or not going. I know I need to be there to do what I can. I know my Master is really stressed out, too, and I don't want to add to it. But these restrictions are definitely taking a toll on me.

I'm very sorry to hear that skribs. It's definitely taken it's toll on everyone, and in vastly different ways too. I hope you'd feel comfortable enough discussing it with your Master? Although I know he's feeling the stress at the moment, it might help for both of you to discuss it together. Hoping it's not a permanent measure all these extra things, but temporary until things can be brought back to normal. It is interesting to hear from an instructor's perspective (yourself) how it's changed things and affected teaching, and mentally what that has altered.

Even possibly lessening your schedule there may help ease the pressure. Easy to say I know. Who knows, you may get into a rhythm of what needs to be done in between classes and it may just become part of the workflow so to speak. But you need to look after yourself too. I know your club and MA mean a great deal to you, so finding what joy you can connect with in it is going to be of vital importance, bringing your attention onto the stuff that reminds you of why you love it and nourishing that, whatever that looks like.
 

dvcochran

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I've been struggling with this for the last week. One of my coworkers had contact with someone who tested positive. I talked to my Master, and he told me to take a break until my coworker's test results came back. They came back today (he's negative), and my Master told me to go ahead and come back on Monday (when we still have class today and tomorrow).

Normally, when the school is on break (or I'm sick and starting to feel better) there's this itch to get back to class. If I get told to stay home, I'm usually anxious to get back and try and plead my way back early. But today...I just accepted it. I don't feel that itch. I don't feel that same drive. I feel like I'm there more out of obligation (to do whatever I can to help the school push through), than I am out of passion.

Doing the online classes has been better than nothing for a lot of our students. But I don't know if I can keep it up. It's become like a long-distance relationship (which I had several of, mostly with girls I played World of Warcraft with). We get to do forms together, but that's about it. There's no sparring. There's no tossing each other down. There's no trying to one-up each other. I don't get much of a chance to chat before and after class.

I know I've gotten flack for it in other threads, but I'm dreading going back on Monday, when we re-open, and there's going to be more time spent on COVID-19 safety measures than actual class; and the actual class is going only be half of an actual class. It will be slightly better than video training, but with a ton of extra work. In some ways, it may be worse, because a number of the students will have their faces obscured (everyone will wear masks, but a lot of us are going the face-shield route), so it's even less personal than online.

I'm at a point where I don't know if my mental health is going to be better or worse by going or not going. I know I need to be there to do what I can. I know my Master is really stressed out, too, and I don't want to add to it. But these restrictions are definitely taking a toll on me.

This is a classic example of "honor in duty". Nothing, and I mean nothing comes with a guarantee. Was it ever promised to you that your MA path would always be easy, fun, and enjoyable? No, but through your journey you discovered that the rewards were worth more than the effort. Now it is your job to teach this to others.

There is no doubt we are in some very crazy times which are much bigger than teaching/taking a martial arts class. The only way we get through this is by holding Ourselves accountable and carrying more than our own weight. This is the assessment you are making right now, but I am not certain you see it that way yet.

The belt around your waist is a visual sign of accomplishment. It comes with responsibilities which you have apparently accepted as you are a leader within your school.
Strap it on and do your job with zest and honor.
 

skribs

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This is a classic example of "honor in duty". Nothing, and I mean nothing comes with a guarantee. Was it ever promised to you that your MA path would always be easy, fun, and enjoyable? No, but through your journey you discovered that the rewards were worth more than the effort. Now it is your job to teach this to others.

There is no doubt we are in some very crazy times which are much bigger than teaching/taking a martial arts class. The only way we get through this is by holding Ourselves accountable and carrying more than our own weight. This is the assessment you are making right now, but I am not certain you see it that way yet.

The belt around your waist is a visual sign of accomplishment. It comes with responsibilities which you have apparently accepted as you are a leader within your school.
Strap it on and do your job with zest and honor.
Easy? No.

I was hoping for fun and enjoyable, though. If it gets to a point where the stress outweighs the benefits, it's time to quit.

Right now the only things holding me are 1) that duty, and 2) the hope that things will go back to normal before I have a breakdown.
 

Flying Crane

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Easy? No.

I was hoping for fun and enjoyable, though. If it gets to a point where the stress outweighs the benefits, it's time to quit.

Right now the only things holding me are 1) that duty, and 2) the hope that things will go back to normal before I have a breakdown.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a break. I’ve had periods of time where life simply interfered, sometimes for years, and my training was sporadic at best. I’ve had other times when I just felt burned out and couldn’t find the energy to train. Life does that to us and we’ve got to be able to roll with it and recognize that it IS NOT a failure. I think sometimes we believe it has to be all, or nothing. That simply is not true. It can a everything for a while, and then a little for a while, and perhaps nothing for a while, until we find the motivation to come back again. That is life.

So take a break and don’t blame yourself for it. You will find the love for it again, even if it takes a while. But if you push through it out of obligation, or push to the point of a nervous breakdown, then the chances of never coming back to it are far greater.

I’ve actually been enjoying simply training at home while I’ve been out of work. I’ve been teaching my wife and son and sister-in-law during this time and it’s just been an enjoyable family activity. We all need to make our practice for ourselves. You can’t always be doing this for others, this is a personal practice and it’s ok to claim it as such.
 

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