I would usually consider myself to be a very passionate individual when it comes to martial arts. My dream is to open a dojo and teach others my own style of fighting. I want to be recognised and known across the internet etc. I don't think a single day has gone by since I set myself this goal, about 2 years ago, in which I haven't dine anything to get closer to it, or at least think about it. Whether it be resistance training, jogs, sessions at the dojang or boxing gym or sometimes all three at once. However, recently, I have been doubting myself. My doubt lies mainly with the possibility that this "passion" is a fabrication, and that I am lying to myself - that I don't actually put in my all, even though I believe I can. I can't quite put it into words, but I believe this is as close as I can get to it: I am scared immensely by the idea that what I believe to be passion, is just half-halfheartedness. I am also fearful that I will find something I enjoy much more than martial arts. I think a good example would be that over the pandemic, I have slowly been getting into parkour, and today I realised how much I enjoy it - when I did, it scared me how much training I had been putting into it in comparison to martial arts. It's normal for me to go down and practice the technique for a kick for half an hour, constantly repeating it, before finally getting bored. But today I easily spent 1.5 hours training basic parkour movements, and the difference in my training took me aback. I haven't practised kicks in almost 1.5-2 weeks! I guess this is probably something too personal to post on a forum, but I don't really have anyone to turn to, considering none of my friends or family are involved in martial arts, and my close family don't have passions. I don't know what has triggered these doubts, and I am hoping that this is just due to me being away from formal training for over 4 months. Has anyone ever experienced this? What did you do? What do I do?