DeLamar.J
3rd Black Belt
I enjoy martial arts very much for a variety of reasons. Martial arts will tend to bring out a persons true colors more so than most other things. It allows you to see what a person is like on the inside very quickly, and it allows you to see what they need. For example, a shy and insecure person wants to learn martial arts because they have been abused, and they want to learn how to defend themselves.
Alot of instructors make the mistake of pushing this person to spar hard. This person is insecure and has been abused, and is not comfortable with this. What will happen is they will be frightened, and they will quit. A person like this must be babied. Light sparring until they become more comfortable to go harder. You must let them know that its ok if they want to hit you harder. Eventually, once they realize that you are not going to abuse them, they will begin to feel comfortable with you, and begin to hit you harder. As there confidence grows, they can be paired up with others.
The big tough bully joins because he wants to be more proficient at hurting others. What you do here is the opposite. You abuse the student a little. Show them what it feels like to be bullied, all the while they see you babying the wimpy guy, watching the wimpy guy get better, as they get abused. Slowly you communicate to them that needlessly hurting others gets you nowhere. Once they have been humbled a mental growth will occur, and this student has started to learn real martial arts. If they have learned their lesson well enough, you could even pair up the once big bully, with the wimpy guy, and watch him develop a protectiveness for him. They could even become the best of friends. Because you have placed the tough guy in the abused guys place, he begins to see himself in the shy abused guy.
That is what martial arts is about. Uniting others, uniting styles. When I am asked what style of martial arts I practice, I usually say unification. This is one of the many reasons why
Alot of instructors make the mistake of pushing this person to spar hard. This person is insecure and has been abused, and is not comfortable with this. What will happen is they will be frightened, and they will quit. A person like this must be babied. Light sparring until they become more comfortable to go harder. You must let them know that its ok if they want to hit you harder. Eventually, once they realize that you are not going to abuse them, they will begin to feel comfortable with you, and begin to hit you harder. As there confidence grows, they can be paired up with others.
The big tough bully joins because he wants to be more proficient at hurting others. What you do here is the opposite. You abuse the student a little. Show them what it feels like to be bullied, all the while they see you babying the wimpy guy, watching the wimpy guy get better, as they get abused. Slowly you communicate to them that needlessly hurting others gets you nowhere. Once they have been humbled a mental growth will occur, and this student has started to learn real martial arts. If they have learned their lesson well enough, you could even pair up the once big bully, with the wimpy guy, and watch him develop a protectiveness for him. They could even become the best of friends. Because you have placed the tough guy in the abused guys place, he begins to see himself in the shy abused guy.
That is what martial arts is about. Uniting others, uniting styles. When I am asked what style of martial arts I practice, I usually say unification. This is one of the many reasons why