We Are the Champions ...

Sukerkin

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I play an on-line MMO called LOTRO (Lord of the Rings On-line :)). In that game, one of my favourite character classes is the Champion, essentially a heavy armour sword-slinger. Two years ago, someone posted a thread about Champions on one of the LOTRO forums and, even after two years, it still makes me smile when I read it:

I read a lot of things about champions on the forums, and I think it's time to clear up some misunderstandings. First, understand that the only way to win an encounter is by killing the mobs. This is through DPS. And because of our great AOE DPS, champions are the most important member of the group. But we fill other roles as well. Mostly, we optimize fellowships. How? Because we know these things:


1. Minstrels are lazy. I mean, come on. To do our max DPS, we need to be in Fervour, which has a -30% healing penalty. This just means that the minstrel must heal us 30% more. But sometimes they complain about this. This makes no sense. They rolled a healing class to heal, and now they get to heal 30% more! They should be thanking us. If someone said to me "Do 30% more DPS" I'd say "OK!"


Minstrel carry around lutes and wear fancy hats. We need to keep them on their toes, or they will drift off and start daydreaming about butterflies, fancy hats, and butterflies in fancy hats.


2. Loremasters are afraid of almost everything. Seriously. All of their skills are based around this. They mez and root to keep the scary things away. If that fails, they debuff it, so it seems a little less scary to them. And they have pets to help keep things away from them, and to have someone to cuddle with in case they have a bad dream or something.


Champions are not afraid. We are there to AOE DPS, and not hitting things is counterproductive. So we must break every mez we see. And the purpose of roots is to keep everything together so it is easier to AOE it all.

Don't worry, little LM. The mighty champ will save you, even if you are just some weirdo in a bathrobe.


3. Raging Blades is the best skill ever. It hits a lot of targets, hits them hard, and adds threat. There is nothing not awesome about this. And it makes an awesome noise. SHING-SHING! When the fellowship hears that, they know it's go time! SHING-SHING! OMG, it's so awesome I would do it constantly if I could. Too bad its on a 10 second cooldown.


Sometimes, a guardian or a warden will say "Don't charge in there and Raging Blades before I get good aggro" but really what they mean is "I'm totally jealous of that skill. Please don't use it and make me look like a wuss. I want to run up to those mobs and like yell at them some, and then pound on my shield menacingly. Ooh I'm so tough." Hahaha. To bad, it's DPS time! SHING-SHING!


Then they'll say things like "Well, if you can't hold back, then at least Ebbing Ire on to me." But they do not understand to purpose of Ebbing Ire. It is used to punish lorebreakers. If I'm ever grouped with an RK an I think he's out DPSing me, I'll Ebbing Ire on to him. Take that lorebreaker! Behold the wrath of Tolkien!

If I could pick them up and throw them into a well Darth Vader-style, I would.



Just realize that while champions are awesome, we want you to be awesome too. That's why we do the things we do.

{Cue Queen singing "We Are the Champions" :D}
 
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Sukerkin

Sukerkin

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And Ten Commandments I can really live by:

The Ten Champion Commandments
And so the mighty champion, Shingus, waited on the hill for the lord, his god, Aoe, to send down to him the ten commandments, so that all champs may know the true way of their kind.

For many days, Shingus waited, without performing a single Raging Blade, not even a Blade-wall. This proved to Aoe that Shingus was faithful, for he gave up his most prized hobby. And the lord Aoe was pleased with his sacrifice and he sent down the commandments.

1. Thou shalt shing-shing until thou cannot shing-shing anymore.

2. Thou shalt always shing-shing when surrounded by thine enemies, whom have been rooted or stunned by thine allies.

3. Thou shalt turn to single target DPS when thine allies are braggers of DPS other than the AOE DPS of my will.

4. Thou shalt always use ebbing ire on the tank, unless thou art grouped with the braggers of DPS, the hunter or runekeeper.

5. Thou shalt use a two-handed weapon to make the hits that please the lord.

6. Thou shalt not knowingly leave an enemy upon thine healing ally, unless said ally is commonly of the braggers of DPS.

7. Thou shalt not trait without a single yellow, for the yellow is the holy traitline which only the greatest champs can use to full.

8. Thou shalt never use Ardour, the stance created by the Devs to decieve the champs, for a true champ will AOE in Fervour.

9. Thou shalt use sprint to be the first to the action.

10. Thou shalt never use Merciful Strike when finishing an enemy, unless both Relentless Strike and Raging Blade are on cooldown.

And so it was written and so it was. And so the champs rejoiced in their AOE for all time.
 

cdunn

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... I do not play MMOs anymore. But those of us who were responsible for keeping madmen like yourself alive salute.

 
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Sukerkin

Sukerkin

Have the courage to speak softly
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/em Salute for all Loremasters and Minstrels

:chuckles:

With the recent changes to the class, at long last we no longer need to be linked at the hip with a healer to stay alive whilst we do our job. I have always run AoE traited and now, with the better set-up stances, I can do that and enjoy it long enough to run out of power :D.
 

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