Trust for what

[terryl965]

Over the last twenty four hours I have been trying to understand why we as Martial Artist and as People want to trust so many people with all of our lifes. I mean we give accountants information and also the government, doctor, lawyers and the list goes on. For the most part these people come highly recommended or we would not use them and then one day the snapped and before you know you are involved in them leading you down the wrong path of life.

So do we as people really ever see the trust that once was? Can there ever be trust once you have been taken by these types? Can we as a person ever really trust people again once we have been taken?

I ask these question because in the last five years I have been taken by past instructor and accountents and Lawyers as well. Not to even mention regular old people that you try to help because you feel it is the right thing.

What is everyone views about trust in the professional and friend fields.

 

[JBrainard]

I generally trust people until they give me reason to do otherwise. I guess it's just part of the whole "do unto others..." mentality.
Also, trust is something that is ingrained in us all. For example; when you drive to work in the morning, you trust that all of the traffic signals are functioning properly. You have to trust a great deal of things in life, or else you'd go mad.
Just my observation.

 

[morph4me]

I don't know that it's a matter of trust as much as a matter of neccessity. We use these people because we either aren't able to do what they do, or aren't as knowledgable about the things they do, and hope we don't get burned. We get recommendations in the hope that if they haven't screwed the people that recommended them, they won't screw us either.

 

[terryl965]

I generally trust people until they give me reason to do otherwise. I guess it's just part of the whole "do unto others..." mentality.
Also, trust is something that is ingrained in us all. For example; when you drive to work in the morning, you trust that all of the traffic signals are functioning properly. You have to trust a great deal of things in life, or else you'd go mad.
Just my observation.

Then JB I will go mad over the next couple of years right now I do not thenk I can trust anybody anymore. I know bad attitude, but certain things have happened over time and the camel back has broken, does this mean in time I will not trust again probaly not.

In today world we put to much trust in each other and forget about it scenerios.

 

[Josh]

I keep a pretty simple philosophy on trust.

I trust people until they give me a reason not to.

 

[FieldDiscipline]

I keep a pretty simple philosophy on trust.

I trust people until they give me a reason not to.

I'm pretty much the same. I can be a little guarding on occasion though, but that usually relates to someone elses wellbeing. Having said that, in the past I have been betrayed pretty badly on occasion.

Its difficult to function otherwise though.

Edited to add, thats in a personal sense. When dealing with business, I seldom fully trust anyone.

 

[JBrainard]

Then JB I will go mad over the next couple of years right now I do not thenk I can trust anybody anymore. I know bad attitude, but certain things have happened over time and the camel back has broken, does this mean in time I will not trust again probaly not.

It sounds like you've been through a lot of betrayal lately, for which I am sorry. If you are like most people, you will stay on guard until humanity gives you reason to trust again. I hope everything works out.

In today world we put to much trust in each other and forget about it scenerios.

Well, as Morph said, it's sometimes a necessity.

 

[terryl965]

It sounds like you've been through a lot of betrayal lately, for which I am sorry. If you are like most people, you will stay on guard until humanity gives you reason to trust again. I hope everything works out.



Well, as Morph said, it's sometimes a necessity.

Thanks JB after i get over the initial shock and settle down I will be fine.

 

[JadecloudAlchemist]

Trust noone but be someone others can trust. That in my experience has always rang truth.

 

[Nolerama]

I agree. Trust until that trust is broken. On a personal level.

I think dealing with businesses is a different story. When dealing with accountants or attorneys, it's your responsibility to research that person. Before you hire that person, look for complaints made to the Better Business Bureau. You might be surprised at the results. Even asking them their representation history is a good thing. With businesses, I don't trust a business until it has earned my trust.

As for MA instructors, try talking to them before you begin classes, or even start an email rapport. I considered a gym once, until they started spewing a marketing line. There was no personality involved, no connection on a human level. I was a source of income to them from my initial experience.

Good luck with your trust issues, and try not to let them get to you. Use your own judgment.

 

[Kacey]

Trust, like respect, must be earned - and certain professions tend to have a large proportion of trustworthy members. Those who are not trustworthy tend to both hide behind and tarnish the trustworthiness of the rest of the profession. When dealing with a profession like lawyer, accountant, doctor, plumber, mechanic, teacher/instructor - any field which requires specialized knowledge - there are, generally, minimum requirements for performance standards which must be met (certification/licensure, minimum achievement on a standardized assessment, etc.), which are intended to assure customers that the person is competent.

Technical competence in a field, however, is not an assurance that the person is trustworthy; passing a test or obtaining a license says nothing about a person's character, and character flaws are, generally, where the biggest problems occur. Incompetence causes problems, certainly - but such problems are generally caught much sooner than those caused by character faults; the incompetent lack the skills to do their jobs well, and thus tend to also lack the skills to hide their own incompetence. Those who deceive deliberately, however, often have greater than average technical competence - and use that competence to hide actions that are intended to benefit them at the expense of those they are hired to help.

What causes people who are technically competent to use their skills to deceive others? There are probably as many (or more) reasons as there are those who commit such acts - but greed and/or the desire to out-perform peers are often key factors. So, sometimes, is need - the person who steals to benefit someone else may be more explicable, but no less acceptable, than the person who steal to pad his/her own pocket. And since those who commit such acts often hide their actions until they can run away with the greatest benefit to themselves, they are often hard to notice - much less catch - until too late.

Can there ever be trust once you have been taken by these types? Can we as a person ever really trust people again once we have been taken?

There can - but it will be harder to earn once you've been burned. It's too bad that the actions of one bad apple can poison a person against an entire group, but, sadly, that is part of the human condition.

 

[Mark L]

Trust, but verify. When it comes to me, my family, my money, my health, my profession, my training, etc. (all the important stuff that could screw with my well-being) I always verify. There is such an amazing amount of information available to those that seek it, that I think we can reduce our risk in trusting others if we do the research.

I accept that there are (lots of) folks out there that are smarter than me, and other professionals certainly possess more knowledge than me. But I can certainly look into people and subjects (at least in instances where I am choosing a service and provider) sufficiently to identify good vs. bad. Caveat emptor, it's all about minimizing risk ...

 

[Ping898]

I think a lot of the problems related to the people we are told to trust is they accept that trust of information as their due as a result of their position. Some take offense to the fact I might not give them all they expect or want...
Personally, I follow the trust, but verify train as well. I also fight giving any piece of personal information I have to. Won't tell a doctor my SSN or even martial status, no reason they need to know to be able to diagnose my allergies. My insurance company doesn't require it to process the claim....I trust my tax lawyer because he is a man of high reputation, sought after frequently, he also did my folks taxes for a dozen years before I gave him mine....
Trust...but only by extention of the trust of someone I already trust or by verifying, or by giving as limited amount of information as I have to....