Tiger Mom

[MA-Caver]

Saw this story about how an Asian American woman is becoming probably the most hated mother on the planet. Being compared to Joan Crawford (of Mommy Dearest infamy). http://news.yahoo.com/video/us-15749625/claws-come-out-after-tiger-mother-23875804

In her defense she states the book is NOT an instructional how-to type. She says it is a memoir of her days as a parent and off the mistakes that she had done over the years.
With that I think the vilification of the woman is definitely unfair. There is no such thing as perfect parenting.

Some folks (I know personally) who have grown up into very strict households have become very successful and others fallen by the wayside. Same as loose free homes that my friends and acquaintances have grown into.

I haven't read the book but it intrigues me enough to want to take a look.

What are your thoughts on it... (watch video) ?

 

[Makalakumu]

I found this video response encompassed my thoughts on this article.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-jg90JNksE&feature=youtube_gdata

 

[MA-Caver]

I found this video response encompassed my thoughts on this article.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-jg90JNksE&feature=youtube_gdata

The video makes very good points (alibet a tad long of the reading of letters) at the end. He's right that a child being hammered/chiseled into this prodigy or genius child has the potential to lose their self-personality identity. Growing up to learn learn learn learn no play just learn... isn't how a child is supposed to go. On that I agree strongly.

I think what is happening is that there ARE true prodigies out there, we've seen videos of 3 to 5 year olds being able to play complex pieces of music (guitar, piano, violin, whatever!), but it's a talent they're born with. Whereas we see a 12-15 year old doing the same thing... but were they born with it or did they practice for hours on end doing nothing else? Big difference there. I think that is what some parents (not just Asians) are trying to create.

He's right about it's mainly stroking the ego of the parent. At my work they were talking about child beauty pageants and how they have pageants for children as young as 5 year olds and that they're dressed up to look like adults. Not a cute cherub dressed up in a cutesy little dress but a 5 year old made up full tilt, hair done up professionally, and wearing an evening gown for her size. What the hell for? One speculated (at my work) that a pedophile had definitely came up with the idea. But parents are all into it anyway because of the prize money or potential for their (pageant trained) child to get prize money in later, older pageants where there is substantial $$ to be won.

Education is extremely important and a vast majority of us know that. I, in my early years of school had skipped a grade 3 times before my family moved and I was regulated back to one grade at a time in proper sequence. I realize that, now, had I kept on with my potential I'd probably be working on my 2nd or even 3rd doctorates degree. Yet with me environment that I grew up in after I moved didn't motivate me to be this "smart-kid" anymore because it drew the ire of the school bullies and there was no protection from that... so withdraw into a shell and survive. Yet I ponder at the possibilities had my life not taken that turn. Either way my parents merely encouraged me best as they could. I wasn't forced to study 4-5 hours after school and denied my tv or music (didn't have video games back then... yah, I'm THAT old). As long as I did my homework best as I could and got it finished then I could do whatever. But school work came first and foremost.
My father however did pull me out of mainstream school and place me into a private school where I was supposed to work at my own pace and still receive a H.S. diploma per requirements of the state. Pppfft that didn't work out so well since it was a strict Christian private school and drugs ran rampant underneath the staff's noses.
As soon as I got my GED I was placed into a community college to get the basic requirements done and then off to regular college... pppfft that didn't work out to well either.

While this topic seems to stereotype Asians, I'm sure it falls under any other minority as well. Parents naturally want their children to be better than they were, or to have life better when they grow up and thus this pressure upon their child to excel NOW is having long reaching consequences.
Right now, for example... I'd be lucky to find anything beyond a minimum wage job, because I have no degree and no marketable skills. I've been at my present job for 2 years now but it's more maturity and common sense inherent of my age than any skill that keeps me there. There are just no (good) jobs where I live at the moment.

As I mentioned before... some strict parents have turned out great kids and successful adults... and some have kids that can't get out of the minimum wage cycle of jobs or become career criminals. Same for the easy-going, carefree parents.

 

[Makalakumu]

I think what is happening is that there ARE true prodigies out there, we've seen videos of 3 to 5 year olds being able to play complex pieces of music (guitar, piano, violin, whatever!), but it's a talent they're born with.

With all due respect, I think that every child prodigy of this age has an overbearing parent. It's a myth to think that ALL of that technical knowledge came from some in born talent. It's something we often forget in order to support the idea of a savant. I could turn my children into karate savants, but I think I wouldn't be the kind of father that anyone would want to have if I did.

 

[granfire]

Taking the irrelevant part....

He's right about it's mainly stroking the ego of the parent. At my work they were talking about child beauty pageants and how they have pageants for children as young as 5 year olds and that they're dressed up to look like adults. Not a cute cherub dressed up in a cutesy little dress but a 5 year old made up full tilt, hair done up professionally, and wearing an evening gown for her size. What the hell for? One speculated (at my work) that a pedophile had definitely came up with the idea. But parents are all into it anyway because of the prize money or potential for their (pageant trained) child to get prize money in later, older pageants where there is substantial $$ to be won.

but the pageants start much, much earlier....we are talking months, not years...

 

[Makalakumu]

Keeping mental health professionals in business since...forever.