Thoughts on Wills: How, When, and Why?

[Ceicei]

I found a website resource that guides people for further information on Living Wills (Advance Directive Forms). Since each State will have differing laws regarding living wills and restrictions, this site does have State links to click and check.

http://www.uslivingwillregistry.com/forms.shtm

If any of you have other links related to this subject, you may post to this thread. If you have comments, opinions, and/or experiences about wills (both living and estate wills), let's discuss them here.

Most future planning appear to involve life insurance, 401k accounts, and IRA, but not much else. I thought it interesting a small percentage of the population (who aren't elderly) create wills of what to do with their assets and custody of their minor children if death should occur. Only a small fraction even make living wills of what should be done for their own care if they become injured or severely ill and no longer able to make decisions.

- Ceicei

 

[Melissa426]

I made my first "real" will and living will out when I was 29. I didn't have a lot of assets , but since I was single then, it was pointed out to me that my next of kin would be my father. I did not want my father making any decisions or having any control over my estate, so I put everything in the hands of one of my sisters, who I trust more.

Peace,
Melissa

 

[Ceicei]

I made my first "real" will and living will out when I was 29. I didn't have a lot of assets , but since I was single then, it was pointed out to me that my next of kin would be my father. I did not want my father making any decisions or having any control over my estate, so I put everything in the hands of one of my sisters, who I trust more.

Peace,
Melissa

Does your sister also have a copy of that will too, or at least know where to find yours?

- Ceicei

 

[oldnewbie]

Here's a link to a radio shows website www.oldies1047.com
There is a download-able pdf for a very detailed living will. (It's the one with the red background, in the middle...)

They had an attorney on most of the morning answering questions.

Basic rule was, make it specific, and name someone who is not emotionally attached to you to be in control....

Interesting...

 

[Ceicei]

Basic rule was, make it specific, and name someone who is not emotionally attached to you to be in control....

Interesting...

Good rule. Who would you suggest would not be emotionally attached? A lawyer? Could a friend or a relative be considered for that role or would that be an emotionally attached relationship?

- Ceicei

 

[oldnewbie]

Well, the rule came from the attorney, because (go figure) he was the one chosen by several people.

But is does make a little sense. I don't know (myself) if I would want someone who wasn't family......

 

[Ping898]

Basic rule was, make it specific, and name someone who is not emotionally attached to you to be in control....

Interesting...

I don't know if that is needed if the people truly respect you though. My mom has a living will (She's mid 50's) and she says she wants the plus pulled and named my dad, then older sis, then me in that order to make the decision to if need be. Now god willing none of us will ever have to make that decision, but I respect her and love her enough that I will carry out her wishes if no hope for recovery existed and push my father to do what she wants if he had problems making the decision.
Personally I would trust someone who knew and loved me to make sure everything was tried than someone who didn't love me and would maybe get tired of the hassle and be unwilling to make the extra effort.

As for the how, when and why, personally I think the moment you have kids you should make a normal will and update it probably every 5 to 10 years if you can. I'd probably do the same thing about power of attorney and who is your guardian if you are temporarily incapacited, specially if you had no family you trusted around to do all they could for you.
If you have distinct feelings about being kept in a perm. vegatative state then a living will should be done no matter what age you are.

Just my 2 cents on it.

 

[Melissa426]

Does your sister also have a copy of that will too, or at least know where to find yours?

- Ceicei

She does know where to find it.

 

[oldnewbie]

I don't know if that is needed if the people truly respect you though. .......

That is true. But it's amazing what happens when the time actually comes. I come from a family of five kids, and Mom had a DNR order. Long story short, it wasn't followed, Mom went to a LTC facility, us kids argued, fought, and quit speaking for a long time.

Real problem came from not having the paperwork done correctly, and having conflicting decisions, concerning those in charge, and well, personalities.

So from my experience, I can understand the need for someone...distanced..., but, again I would also want someone who was family.

 

[kenpo tiger]

That is true. But it's amazing what happens when the time actually comes. I come from a family of five kids, and Mom had a DNR order. Long story short, it wasn't followed, Mom went to a LTC facility, us kids argued, fought, and quit speaking for a long time.

Real problem came from not having the paperwork done correctly, and having conflicting decisions, concerning those in charge, and well, personalities.

So from my experience, I can understand the need for someone...distanced..., but, again I would also want someone who was family.

That's why you need to name one person to be executor of your wishes. As to siblings arguing about it, I have only one sibling, and we have forced ourselves to discuss this with regard to our parents until we reached an agreement and agreed to agree when the time comes.

My husband is the only one I trust to do exactly as I wish -- and vice versa.