Pulp...errr TKD Fiction


Master of Arts
Aug 27, 2002
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Los Angeles suburbs, Cali. USA
Okay, since I'm a TKD practitioner only I can make fun of my Art :p

TKD Fiction
John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson sitting in car talking. (Pulp Fiction music fades off...)

S: OK, so tell me again about TaeKwonDo.
J: Waddya wanna know?
S: It's a martial art, right?
J: Yeah, it's a martial art, but it ain't a 100% martial art. I mean you can't just walk into a dojo, throw on a gi and start punching away. They want you to hit in certain designated places.
S: And that's not on the face right?
J: OK, it breaks down like this: it's legal to kick someone in the head,it is legal to kick someone on the body, and if you're quick it's legal to trip someone up, it's ILLEGAL to kick someone in the legs but...but...but that doesn't matter 'coz, getta loada this, the TKD people don't know how to hit the face with the hands, I mean that's one skill TKD DON'T have.
S: Aw man. I'm goin', that's all there is to it, I'm f___in' goin'.
J: Yeah man, you'd dig it the most. But do you know what the funniest thing about TKD is?
S: What?
J: It's the little differences, I mean they got the gis and the same ego instructors as we got here, but there they're a little different.
S: Example?
J: OK. You can walk into a TKD dojo and do a Kata and I'm not talkin' about no 10 movement Kata, I'm talkin' about a 30 movement Kata. And in TKD you spar with 10 inches of foam padding. Do you know what they call a dojo in TKD?
S: They don't call it a dojo?
J: Nah man, they don't come from Japan, they wouldn't know what the f___ a DOJO is.
S: So whadda they call it?
J: (assumes Korean accent) A Dojang.
S: A Dojang?
J: That's right.
S: And whadda they call a Kata
J: A Katas a Kata, but there they call it a Form or a Poomse (accent again).
S: (imitating accent badly) A Poomse? (Both men laugh)
S: Whadda they call a Bokken?
J: I don't know, I didn't go play with any sticks. Do you know you can get a Black Belt in TKD in 2 years.
S: What???
J: Two years.
S: Aw man...
J: I've seen 'em do it man, they f___in' given 'em away.

(cue music and fade...)
Not bad, Cali... good thing you're a fellow TKDer, or we'd have to give you a good ol' fashioned *axe kick to the groin.* Assuming those of us with black belts have been training for more than 2 years and can hit the broad side of a barn.

In all seriousness, though, cool post, man. That's really funny
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :boing2: :lol: :roflmao:
Originally posted by Cliarlaoch
Not bad, Cali... good thing you're a fellow TKDer, or we'd have to give you a good ol' fashioned *axe kick to the groin.*

An axe kick to the Groin...errr... to the Nads???
I'd be more concerned about an AXE Kick to the upper regions such as my noggin, not my lower regions. :eek:

BTW, I always wear a cup when it gets down and dirty... ;) :p
Well, yeah, Cali, an axe kick is normally aimed for the head, sure... or the shoulder, or some other upper area... darnit, you're interfering with a perfectly good attempt to take a humour thread and inject a poorly disguised attempt to ride on someone else's joke into what was otherwise a good thread... er... yeah... so anyway, about that axe kick to the noggin? I think I could use it now. :p

Besides. We're flexible in TKD. We could figure out some way to get an axe kick into the groin. If we were sadistic. For that, talk to the Kenpo guys. (J/K ya'll)
Yeah, I mean some of us just like to beat the guy down with like 18 strikes and all; then axe kick 'em to the groin while their laying horizontal.:D :rofl:
Originally posted by RCastillo
Just IKKO guys who go deer hunting in winter!:eek:

They have to be thinned out or you find deer in your windshield and stuff around here.:rolleyes:
Originally posted by jfarnsworth
They have to be thinned out or you find deer in your windshield and stuff around here.:rolleyes:

I see...........:(
Originally posted by RCastillo
I see...........:(

Don't you have wild game that has a hard time being controlled in your area? Deer are the worst thing here in ohio. If there's one there's always more and they all run across the road; always. It's pretty much a given at some time or another you are going to hit one. Last month my mom hit 2 of those stupid things. One was hit and killed instantly the other I guess was hit in the back quarter of the heiney. It ran off. However the 1900 dollars of damage to her new blazer made her more angry.
That's a good post!! I like the interplay!

Had me laughing, that's for sure...;)



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