T
TheRustyOne
Guest
I got bored, read that snake model Armed Forces thing and wrote this. Maybe it'll help you understand marching band if you've never been in it.
Colorguard: Finds snake, teaches it to dance and spin. Snake gets fed up and leaves to be a cheerleader (which is easier than colorguard!)
Drumline: Finds snake, perverts snake, takes band bus on joyride around town during lunch break. Works butt off while rest of band is lazy. Struts like cocky jerk because there was a movie about the drumline.
Woodwinds: Snake can't be heard. Contends with annoying American Pie wisecracks.
Trumpets: Snakes get tunnel vision from the silver and brass running past him.
Trombones: Laughs at the nickname of "boner," since it's been perverted by drumline.
Saxaphones: Snake now sounds like duck. (Applies to oboe, but I'll be damned if an oboe can march!)
Baritones: More perverted. Somewhat worse than drumline.
Tubas: Snake gets cocky, then clocks someone during a difficult manuever because he "couldn't see to his left"
Mellophone: Snake wears one pant leg rolled up to be like UMass.
Drum Major: Snake gets to stand on podium, wear snazzy uniform, carry and toss the mace, and do a funky salute. Would conduct if snakes had arms.
Director: Gets stomach ulcer from section leaders not doing job, assistants wanting more money, and the band sucking.
Chair of Music Department: Laughs as money is sucked from colorguard and given to band. Laughs more when that money is taken and given to Choir.
~~~
UMass comment: I've seen them do this! It's weird...
Tubas: marching tubas are held on the left shoulder and pretty much blind the player.
Saxes: Yes! they sound like ducks!
Drumline: the taking the bus for a joyride happened in high school! They took the bus and went to McDonalds for lunch...
...i've been a marching band geek for six years now...yeah...shut up w/ the "one time at band camp" crap. it's old now!
Colorguard: Finds snake, teaches it to dance and spin. Snake gets fed up and leaves to be a cheerleader (which is easier than colorguard!)
Drumline: Finds snake, perverts snake, takes band bus on joyride around town during lunch break. Works butt off while rest of band is lazy. Struts like cocky jerk because there was a movie about the drumline.
Woodwinds: Snake can't be heard. Contends with annoying American Pie wisecracks.
Trumpets: Snakes get tunnel vision from the silver and brass running past him.
Trombones: Laughs at the nickname of "boner," since it's been perverted by drumline.
Saxaphones: Snake now sounds like duck. (Applies to oboe, but I'll be damned if an oboe can march!)
Baritones: More perverted. Somewhat worse than drumline.
Tubas: Snake gets cocky, then clocks someone during a difficult manuever because he "couldn't see to his left"
Mellophone: Snake wears one pant leg rolled up to be like UMass.
Drum Major: Snake gets to stand on podium, wear snazzy uniform, carry and toss the mace, and do a funky salute. Would conduct if snakes had arms.
Director: Gets stomach ulcer from section leaders not doing job, assistants wanting more money, and the band sucking.
Chair of Music Department: Laughs as money is sucked from colorguard and given to band. Laughs more when that money is taken and given to Choir.
~~~
UMass comment: I've seen them do this! It's weird...
Tubas: marching tubas are held on the left shoulder and pretty much blind the player.
Saxes: Yes! they sound like ducks!
Drumline: the taking the bus for a joyride happened in high school! They took the bus and went to McDonalds for lunch...
...i've been a marching band geek for six years now...yeah...shut up w/ the "one time at band camp" crap. it's old now!
