Someone once noted that a Southerner can get away with the most awful kind
>of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or
>"Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the
>head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a six lane highway."
>
> Or, "Bless her heart, she's so bucktoothed, she could eat an apple through
>a picket fence." There are also the sneakier ones: "You know, it's amazing
>that even though she had that baby 7 months after they were married, bless
>her heart, it weighed 10 pounds."
>
> As long as the heart is sufficiently blessed, the insult can't be all that
>bad. I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling
>about her new Transplanted Northern friend who was upset because her toddler
>is just beginning to talk and he has a Southern accent. My friend, who is
>very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of
>hers, was justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN
>to move to the South a couple of years ago. Can you believe it?" said her
>friend. "A child of mine is going to be "taaaallllkkin liiiike
>thiiiissss.."
>
> Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from the North,
>bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their friendships and
>their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food. I've even gotten past
>their endless complaints that you can't find good bread down here. And the
>heathens, bless their hearts, don't like cornbread!
>
> We've already lost too much. I was raised to say "swanee," not swear, but
>you hardly ever hear anyone say that anymore, I swanee you don't.
>
> And I've caught myself thinking twice before saying something is "right
>much," "right close," or "right good" because non-natives think this is
>right funny indeed. I have a friend from Bawston who thinks it's hilarious
>when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the
>light. She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin'" to do something.
>
> And, bless their hearts, they don't even know where "over yonder" is or
>what "I reckon" means!
> My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she can't help
>being ugly, but she could've stayed home."
>
> Southern girls know bad manners when they see them:
>
> 1. Drinking straight out of a can.
> 2. Not sending thank you notes.
> 3. Velvet after February.
> 4. White shoes before Easter or after Labor Day.
>
> Southern girls always say:
> 1. "Yes, ma'am."
> 2. "Yes, sir."
>
> Southern girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:
>
> 1. "Y'all come back! now ya heaah,"
> 2. "Well, bless your heart."
> 3. "Drop by when you can."
> 4. "How's your mother?"
> 5. "Love your hair."
>
> Southern girls know their three R's!:
> 1. Rich
> 2. Richer
> 3. Richest
>
> Southern girls know everybody's first name:
>
> 1. Honey
> 2. Darlin'
> 3. Sugah
>
> Southern girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:
>
> 1. "Gone With the Wind"
> 2. "Fried Green Tomatoes"
> 3. "Driving Miss Daisy"
> 4. "Steel Magnolias"
>
> Southern girls know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
>
> 1. Hotlanta or Adlanna =(Atlanta as outsiders say)
> 2. Richmon
> 3. Challston
> 4. S'vannah
> 5. Birminham
> 6. Nawlins'
> 7. OH! And that city in Alabama? It's pronounced MUNTGUMRY!
>
> Southern girls know the three deadly sins:
>
> 1. Bad hair
> 2. Bad manners
> 3. Bad blind dates
>
>
> G.R.I.T.S. = Girls Raised in The South!
>
> Now you run along, Sugah, and send this to someone else Raised In The
>South, i.e., Southern Belles, or ANY females aspiring to be GRITS. Even the
>northern ones, "Bless Their Hearts".
>
> That Reminds me-I have a rubber stamp that says "Just because your
>children were born in the South does not make them Southerners. After all,
>if a cat had kittens in the oven, that wouldn't make them biscuits."
>
> Bless Yer Hearts
>of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or
>"Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the
>head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a six lane highway."
>
> Or, "Bless her heart, she's so bucktoothed, she could eat an apple through
>a picket fence." There are also the sneakier ones: "You know, it's amazing
>that even though she had that baby 7 months after they were married, bless
>her heart, it weighed 10 pounds."
>
> As long as the heart is sufficiently blessed, the insult can't be all that
>bad. I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling
>about her new Transplanted Northern friend who was upset because her toddler
>is just beginning to talk and he has a Southern accent. My friend, who is
>very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of
>hers, was justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN
>to move to the South a couple of years ago. Can you believe it?" said her
>friend. "A child of mine is going to be "taaaallllkkin liiiike
>thiiiissss.."
>
> Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from the North,
>bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their friendships and
>their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food. I've even gotten past
>their endless complaints that you can't find good bread down here. And the
>heathens, bless their hearts, don't like cornbread!
>
> We've already lost too much. I was raised to say "swanee," not swear, but
>you hardly ever hear anyone say that anymore, I swanee you don't.
>
> And I've caught myself thinking twice before saying something is "right
>much," "right close," or "right good" because non-natives think this is
>right funny indeed. I have a friend from Bawston who thinks it's hilarious
>when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the
>light. She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin'" to do something.
>
> And, bless their hearts, they don't even know where "over yonder" is or
>what "I reckon" means!
> My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she can't help
>being ugly, but she could've stayed home."
>
> Southern girls know bad manners when they see them:
>
> 1. Drinking straight out of a can.
> 2. Not sending thank you notes.
> 3. Velvet after February.
> 4. White shoes before Easter or after Labor Day.
>
> Southern girls always say:
> 1. "Yes, ma'am."
> 2. "Yes, sir."
>
> Southern girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:
>
> 1. "Y'all come back! now ya heaah,"
> 2. "Well, bless your heart."
> 3. "Drop by when you can."
> 4. "How's your mother?"
> 5. "Love your hair."
>
> Southern girls know their three R's!:
> 1. Rich
> 2. Richer
> 3. Richest
>
> Southern girls know everybody's first name:
>
> 1. Honey
> 2. Darlin'
> 3. Sugah
>
> Southern girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:
>
> 1. "Gone With the Wind"
> 2. "Fried Green Tomatoes"
> 3. "Driving Miss Daisy"
> 4. "Steel Magnolias"
>
> Southern girls know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
>
> 1. Hotlanta or Adlanna =(Atlanta as outsiders say)
> 2. Richmon
> 3. Challston
> 4. S'vannah
> 5. Birminham
> 6. Nawlins'
> 7. OH! And that city in Alabama? It's pronounced MUNTGUMRY!
>
> Southern girls know the three deadly sins:
>
> 1. Bad hair
> 2. Bad manners
> 3. Bad blind dates
>
>
> G.R.I.T.S. = Girls Raised in The South!
>
> Now you run along, Sugah, and send this to someone else Raised In The
>South, i.e., Southern Belles, or ANY females aspiring to be GRITS. Even the
>northern ones, "Bless Their Hearts".
>
> That Reminds me-I have a rubber stamp that says "Just because your
>children were born in the South does not make them Southerners. After all,
>if a cat had kittens in the oven, that wouldn't make them biscuits."
>
> Bless Yer Hearts
