[FONT="]In case you need a new computer:
[FONT="]I don't know if you know this, but you can now purchase Kosher computers![/FONT]
[FONT="]They are made in [/FONT][FONT="]Israel[/FONT][FONT="] by a company called DELL-SHALOM. The price is so low even with the shipping from [/FONT][FONT="]Israel[/FONT][FONT="]. I bought one. I've been using it now for several weeks and highly recommend it.[/FONT]
[FONT="]However, before you purchase a kosher computer of your own, you should know that there are some important changes from the typical non-kosher computer you are used to, such as:[/FONT]
[FONT="]1) The "Start" button has been replaced with the "Let's go!! I'm not getting any younger!" button.[/FONT]
[FONT="]2) I hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.[/FONT]
[FONT="]3) The cursor moves from right to left.[/FONT]
[FONT="]4) When Spellchecker finds an error it prompts, "Is this the best you can do?"[/FONT]
[FONT="]5) When I look at erotic images, my computer says, "If your mother knew you did this, she would die."[/FONT]
[FONT="]6) It comes with a "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz that advertises it gets rid of all the "schmutz und dreck."[/FONT]
[FONT="]7) When running "Scan Disk" it prompts with me with a "You want I should fix this?" message.[/FONT]
[FONT="]8) After 20 minutes of no activity, my PC goes "Schloffen."[/FONT]
[FONT="]9) The PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday.[/FONT]
[FONT="]10) It comes with two hard drives--one for fleyshedik (business software) and one for milchedik (games).[/FONT]
[FONT="]11) Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, my PC now gets "Ferklempt."[/FONT]
[FONT="]12) The multimedia player has been renamed, "Nu, so play my music already!"[/FONT]
[FONT="]13) Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right corner.[/FONT]
[FONT="]14) When my PC is working too hard, I occasionally hear a loud "Oy Vey."[/FONT]
[FONT="]15) Computer viruses can now be cured with matzo ball soup.[/FONT]
[FONT="]16) When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, I am instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC's tuchis."[/FONT]
[FONT="]17) After my computer dies, I have to dispose of it within 24 hours. [/FONT]
[FONT="]18) But best of all, if you have a kosher computer, you can't get Spam.[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT="]I don't know if you know this, but you can now purchase Kosher computers![/FONT]
[FONT="]They are made in [/FONT][FONT="]Israel[/FONT][FONT="] by a company called DELL-SHALOM. The price is so low even with the shipping from [/FONT][FONT="]Israel[/FONT][FONT="]. I bought one. I've been using it now for several weeks and highly recommend it.[/FONT]
[FONT="]However, before you purchase a kosher computer of your own, you should know that there are some important changes from the typical non-kosher computer you are used to, such as:[/FONT]
[FONT="]1) The "Start" button has been replaced with the "Let's go!! I'm not getting any younger!" button.[/FONT]
[FONT="]2) I hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.[/FONT]
[FONT="]3) The cursor moves from right to left.[/FONT]
[FONT="]4) When Spellchecker finds an error it prompts, "Is this the best you can do?"[/FONT]
[FONT="]5) When I look at erotic images, my computer says, "If your mother knew you did this, she would die."[/FONT]
[FONT="]6) It comes with a "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz that advertises it gets rid of all the "schmutz und dreck."[/FONT]
[FONT="]7) When running "Scan Disk" it prompts with me with a "You want I should fix this?" message.[/FONT]
[FONT="]8) After 20 minutes of no activity, my PC goes "Schloffen."[/FONT]
[FONT="]9) The PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday.[/FONT]
[FONT="]10) It comes with two hard drives--one for fleyshedik (business software) and one for milchedik (games).[/FONT]
[FONT="]11) Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, my PC now gets "Ferklempt."[/FONT]
[FONT="]12) The multimedia player has been renamed, "Nu, so play my music already!"[/FONT]
[FONT="]13) Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right corner.[/FONT]
[FONT="]14) When my PC is working too hard, I occasionally hear a loud "Oy Vey."[/FONT]
[FONT="]15) Computer viruses can now be cured with matzo ball soup.[/FONT]
[FONT="]16) When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, I am instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC's tuchis."[/FONT]
[FONT="]17) After my computer dies, I have to dispose of it within 24 hours. [/FONT]
[FONT="]18) But best of all, if you have a kosher computer, you can't get Spam.[/FONT][/FONT]
