I'm not joining your band!

Omar B

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So a couple weeks ago my father brings me home this CD from work, seems one of his coworkers has a rock band and wanted me to listen. Now being that I've worked in the music industry since college I get these all the time and really I never listen to anything just handed to me, if it's not through the magazine I'm not being paid to listen so I don't care.

A couple days later he brings me a note from the dude. He's asking me to check them out on myspace (which I hate even more), vote for them in some local competition, blah blah blah.

Then I start getting emails from the guy. Asking what I thought of his CD, the web page, did I vote for them. At this point I'm pissed off now.

So a couple days ago my father tells me that their guitar player quit and wouldn't you know it, my father threw my hat in the ring for a replacement. I don't want to be in their band, nor any band for that matter.

Never have, never will. My enjoyment of music is purely selfish. I play because I love music, Steve Vai, Yngwie Malmsteen, Vinnie Moore, Megadeth, Nevermore, anything with near impossible parts to play because I just wanna be able to do what my heroes do. That's not to say that my buds and I don't jam once in a while but we all have our careers and not focused on some pipe dream of "making it." My hobby helped me land a freelance job at a magazine in college because I was majoring in journalism and was a decent player, that's as far as I wish to take it.

I swallow my pride because my father asked nicely and I go along to meet these guys and jam. We got down to business of jamming, turns out that these guys can hardly play at all! They can barely make it through a whole one of their songs and they don't know anything else. They can't jam on a simple AC/DC song or Black Sabbath, or The Ramones or even Van Halen!

They want me to join their band to help them with their playing so they can make it big! A bunch of guys who can't play for crap are all hitching their wagons to my star ... a guy who does not want to be a musician because they can't hack it themselves!

So now it has begun. They won't leave me alone. I'm getting calls, emails and messages through my father asking about my status with the band (in their minds I'm already in), when I'm coming to jam with them and on and on.

Can't people take a hint?
 

LuckyKBoxer

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umm what hint did you give?

by your story you,..

took their demo and listened to it
gave them your email which was permission to contact you.
read their email
went to their myspace
checked out the competition
agreed to meet with them
jammed with them
discussed the band with them..
what part was a hint that said you wanted nothing to do with them?

I suggest giving up on hints and just tell them exactly what you want to have happen, don't beat around the bush and hope they get it.

communication is a dying art now days, people seem to have so much trouble telling another person what they actually think.
 
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Omar B

Omar B

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Nope, you get the wrong impression. I did not listen to their demo, as I stated, if I'm not being paid I don't listen. I didnt give them I email, my father did. I did not go to their myspace, I hate that site. I did meet and jam with them as a favor to my father. I have told them no, several times. But then 35 year olds who can hardly play and still think they'll make it seem like the types who don't take talking to very well.
 

CoryKS

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"Thank you for the invitation, but I am not interested in committing myself to a project at this time."

That ought to take care of it.
 

LuckyKBoxer

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restraining orders occasionally work.... sounds like a real group of winners to me.
 
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Omar B

Omar B

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Yeah, I've told them in no uncertain terms that I'm not interested at all. But then a bunch of guys in their mid 30's still trying for a dream most teenagers give up on around college speaks volumes about their tough heads. Hell, I'm surprised they have yet to figure out they are just terrible musicians and maybe need a few lessons, not a new musician to elevate the whole thing.
 

terryl965

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If you have been nice, now it is time to tell them to **** off simply because they suck.
 

Bill Mattocks

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Tell them that you've decided to only play Tom T. Hall songs. Send them a tape and encourage them to give it a listen. End of problem.

Now, I happen to like Tom T. Hall, but I'm guessing your new pals won't.
 

Bill Mattocks

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Never heard of him, and I wouldn't call them pals. LOL.

Glen Campbell? Tori Amos? Wrinkle-Neck Mules? Chick Corea? Dixie Chicks? Just pick one and cut a few tracks - that ought to get them off your case.

And I was referring to how they appear to see you, not vice-versa. I can see you're not planning on taking long hot showers in the wee hours of the night with them.
 

Bill Mattocks

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I love Chick Corea, Frank Gambale's guitar playing is one of my great inspirations.

I fear you're not following the basic concept. Oh well, I did try to help. Good luck with your problem.
 

Carol

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Frank Gambale is one of my faves. Great guitarist...and great guy overall. I had the good fortune to meet him and his father in the late 1980s. He had just released his first technique video and was visiting some U.S. cities with Dad to promote it.

Omar...its reading to me like there is more going on than just a person that doesn't want to be in a band.

If you do not live with your parents, then I think you need to have a chat with your dad (in the same polite way that he talked with you), and explain why you don't want to do anything with this band. If you are living with your folks at the moment, it may also be that your parents want you to be more active with your career so you can get to the point where you can support yourself without their help and move back out on your own.

Having once played professionally myself...I understand the challenges of the industry. I do hope things go well for you. Fingers crossed. :)
 
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Omar B

Omar B

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Frank Gambale is one of my faves. Great guitarist...and great guy overall. I had the good fortune to meet him and his father in the late 1980s. He had just released his first technique video and was visiting some U.S. cities with Dad to promote it.

Omar...its reading to me like there is more going on than just a person that doesn't want to be in a band.

If you do not live with your parents, then I think you need to have a chat with your dad (in the same polite way that he talked with you), and explain why you don't want to do anything with this band. If you are living with your folks at the moment, it may also be that your parents want you to be more active with your career so you can get to the point where you can support yourself without their help and move back out on your own.

Having once played professionally myself...I understand the challenges of the industry. I do hope things go well for you. Fingers crossed. :)

My father just wants to show off my playing. And yes, I've got my own apartment. I've lived on my own since I left college except for the month after my grandfather's death where they wanted me home. Would be quite odd being at my parents place with my wife wouldn't it?

Oh, and Frank's a great guy. Had the pleasure of having a few drinks with him around the time of the launching of his Yamaha signature guitar.
 

Carol

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My father just wants to show off my playing. And yes, I've got my own apartment. I've lived on my own since I left college except for the month after my grandfather's death where they wanted me home. Would be quite odd being at my parents place with my wife wouldn't it?

Oh, and Frank's a great guy. Had the pleasure of having a few drinks with him around the time of the launching of his Yamaha signature guitar.

Heeheehee...I suppose that would get a bit crowded. ;)

You're dad is proud of you, and that's awesome. But he's probably got a role in setting the band's expectations too. It could be that they keep after you because you say no and dad says yes. Gotta love family. :D
 
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Omar B

Omar B

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I have no doubt that he talked me up quite a bit. I've heard him talk up my brothers and sisters to quite epic proportions, not lies, he just has this bombastic way of describing the ordinary that takes people's breath away. Any wonder I went into writing?

It's always "My son the journalist and heavy metal guitar player." "My son the BMW engineer." "My son the airline manager." The 3 of us are as one would expect, always quite embarrassed.

I wonder if he even mentioned these guys that I don't live in FL, I just visit a lot? My job allows me a lot of travel (and airline miles) so he still thinks I live here rather than NY.
 

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