i need help

[pinacolada23x]

i need help. i'm having a problem with my two head karate instructors. i feel like i can never go to them about a problem im having in karate because they always tell me im wrong or they yell at me. i feel like i can never mess up or i'll be punished. i always get chewed out by some instructors for things that arent even my fault. some of the rules in tang soo do are just crazy. i love karate and i love all the people. but sometimes i feel liek the instructors think they have all this power and use it against teh low rank, and especially. karate has just been giving me major problems lately. does anyone else feel liek this about their school or instructors or fellow martial artists? i mean, does anyone feel like this art is liek a cult? i mean im not syaing i ahte it but i just wonder if this is just too rediculous. i feel liek there are things that i dont know about this association that could be bad. does anyoen agree or could help me?! please!

 

[Makalakumu]

First of all, what sect of TSD do you train? Secondly, give us some examples of treatment that you have faced in the past. I have been involved in TSD for a while now and I may be able to de-mystify some of it for you. I can't form opinions without some more info though...

Don't give up. Keep Kicking!

 

[pinacolada23x]

one day i was talking to one of my friends before class, she is a black belt and my age, and i was saying how cool it is she was going to be a junior and i was going to be a senior in hgih school. well, one of the other black belt instructors overheard our conversation. well we have two head instructors. a master, and his son. we call the father, master, and the son mr.____jr. so that instructor thought we were calling our master, senior. and mr. junior. she thought we were disrespecting them by not calling them by what we are suppose to. and she came over and just started yelling at me. telling me what i said was wrong and how it was disrespectful. but she yelled at me. then when i told her what i WAS talking about, she didnt even say sorry. also, i signed this paper that my black belt coach gave me, which i picked one of the head instructors, the son. and it says on it "you should go to your coach about anything and they will be there for you no matter the issue, and you should be able to talk to him/her" well, i went to him one day about how i felt that the instructors may be taking advantage of their power over their students which i feel is wrong. he got up from his chair and screamed in my face telling me i dont know what im talking about and that i was being disrespectful when i really wasnt. its ike everytime i do soemthing wrong i get pulverised for it. and what i do isnt even wrong. i feel like if i dont give them my 200% they will make me suffer and hate myself for ever not giving them my all. i mean, i dont get it, what should i do? i cant talk to them about it because they never admit when their wrong, and its almost like im not even treated like a human being. just because im a blue belt i have to kiss everyones butt. i mean its not right. i feel so un humane. do you think its is just this school, or is this how tang soo do is. i mean i have been in karate for almost 6 years. ahhhhh, what do i do?

 

[Mithios]

What you are saying bring's back memories for me!! I went through the same kind of mess. Get out, or it will eat at you till you quit for good. It is not the style that is the problem, it is the chief instructor and other's who follow his lead! Good luck, and keep us posted. Mithios

 

[psi_radar]

Umm. Is Tang Soo Do considered Karate? TSD is a Korean art. Karate refers to those of Japanese origin. Koreans hate the Japanese. Either you're using very general terms, which I doubt you would if you're a blue belt, or something's up. I smell a troll.

Edited for grammar.

 

[Rich Parsons]

Originally posted by psi_radar
Umm. Is Tang Soo Do considered Karate? TSD is a Korean art. Karate refers to those of Japanese origin. Koreans hate the Japanese. Either you're using very general terms, which I doubt you would if you're a blue belt, or something's up. I smell a troll.

Edited for grammar.

Maybe, Maybe not

Sometimes, in the English language, we absorb a word, and modify the meaning also at the same times. Karate is not a specific art to most Americans, it is a generic term used by millions to represent some for of martial art.

:asian:

 

[Makalakumu]

Originally posted by psi_radar
Umm. Is Tang Soo Do considered Karate? TSD is a Korean art. Karate refers to those of Japanese origin.

TSD is a Korean art with lots of kicking, yet heavily influence with kung fu and taught very much in a Japanese style. Calling it Karate, Kung Fu, or Subak is appropriate in a sense, but fails to describe everything.

 

[Tae Kwon Doughboy]

Like Mithios said. This brings back memories. I was in the same situation and I switched to another martial art before I despised martial arts in general and quit for good. I believe the teachers have more to do with a student's success than the martial art chosen. I live in a rural area and have fewer options for training.

I innitially chose SooBahkDo because it was close, eight miles away. The instructor put more inphasis on martial than art and taught by correcting rather than teaching. I stayed for four months and had a 50% chance of leaving class frustrated. We were discouraged from asking questions etc. We were expected to do more advanced combinations without knowing the individual moves. The best way to describe the class in general was sullen.

Unfortunately the result was disrespect for the instructor. I found out later from another adult that if I had started out in the children's class, like she did with her son, I would have been taught the basics. Imagine that, you have to be a kid to get the basics!

Again, it depends on the instructor. Fortunately, when traveling during those four months, I attended another SooBahkDo class. It was wonderful. It was obvious that the students were glad to be there and respected their instructor. And the instructor respected the students. I think I learned as much of the basics in those two classes than in all of the others combined.

Anyway I didn't need that kind of frustration at 43 years old. A friend that is a TKD black belt offered to work with me twice a week to teach me the basics. This too was wonderful. I later joined the dojang he goes to 30 miles away. No frustration.

 

[Quick Sand]

pinacolada23x, I strongly suggest you try to find another club, class or Martial Arts style in your area. An instructor should always respect the students and they should respect him. You shouldn't have to feel bad when you're training.

 

[Cruentus]

There is a difference between respect and idolotry, or instructor worship. Respect is mutual; the student respects the teacher, but the teacher also respects the student, even if it is a different kind of respect. It sounds like your not being respected as a student, so I say find a different school with better instructors.

btw...I don't smell a troll. TKD and TSD people often refer to what they train in by the generic term "Karate."

 

[Ceicei]

If you are not bound in by a contract, I would suggest getting out and looking into a different school. Perhaps another TSD school. If you cannot find one that has a suitable instructor who would meet your training needs and where you would feel comfortable to be yourself, then look into a different style.

- Ceicei

 

[Zepp]

Originally posted by psi_radar
Umm. Is Tang Soo Do considered Karate? TSD is a Korean art. Karate refers to those of Japanese origin. Koreans hate the Japanese. Either you're using very general terms, which I doubt you would if you're a blue belt, or something's up. I smell a troll.

Many of the Korean instructors who first brought Korean martial arts to North America originally referred their arts as "Korean Karate." In some organizations, the name stuck.

pinacolada,
You don't need to take that kind of crap from your instructor. I suggest moving on and finding a teacher who shows his students common decency.

 

[pinacolada23x]

see, i would move to another school, but it's so hard to because the head instructors son has been my mentor for the last 3 years. i know he loves me to death and he cares for me a lot and he is the only reason i dont want to leave. he believes in me so much. but then again the instructors at that school are not very respectful. i would just leave but i love the son too much to. he is like my guardian angel. i know he is hard on me, but only to make me better. he isnt really so much the problem, its the other instructors. if i have to leave the school eventually because it gets too ridiculous, then i will, but can u think of any other solutions. i talk to the son today and he wants me to talk to him when i feel like this, but i know it is kinda impossible because he is my instructor. i'd rather make things work out, but i dunno. i do love it there, but sometimes things are just so ridiculous. i mean, the son took me out to breakfast and told me how much he cares about me and stuff, and doesnt want me to leave, and if i did he would be torn becuase he knows how good i am. but so many other people have had problems with his father, and they told me in october i would test in march for my black belt. and they just told me last week i didnt have enough hours and i cant test even though i aced the pre test. how wrong is that. the thing is they dont want tot admit that, they thought i had enough hours and i think they just realized i did, and they made a mistake. i dunno, "karate" as in "tang soo do" life is crazy. when i say kaarte it is just a general term for tang soo do. also, i work and go to school and am getting ready for college this year and i am always stressed out, and they never accept the fact that i am tired and never let me have a break and if i mess up they get mad at me for it, but i just have been working my butt off in school, and work, and for them and i dont think they realize it. but i know the son does. and some of the instrcutors give me strange looks when i act silly adnd playful , not in class, and they think its wrong. one time i got my nails done for prom, and i was so happy because it was my first prom and the first time in a long time i dressed compleetely liek a girl and i was so happy and excited for jsyefl. and one of the instructors yelled at me for having long nails and made me unhappy about prom. i dunno, any comments to any of this? ahhhh!

 

[Ceicei]

That's a lot of loyalty if you stay on just for one instructor in spite of the other instructors. Putting up with unhappiness for the sake of one is a lot to take.

You should explain *clearly* and *directly* to your instructor how you feel and how you are being treated. Your instructor should be able to talk to the other instructors and have them take a second look at how they treat their students. If you're not the only student they treat this way, then the school will be in danger of losing their students.

That said, if you've put up with it for the past three years already, then a few more months or a year more may not be too much to wait until you get your black belt. You've invested a lot of time and money to get to where you are. You can then move on to another style to cross train. Many black belts do.

Only you can decide what is worth doing. You can get out now for another TSD school, or stay in and put up a while longer. You can choose to change to another style. I would say being able to enjoy where you train is important.

- Ceicei

 

[pinacolada23x]

now, i know this is going to sound crazy and all, but, do you think it's crazy for someone to feel like their in love with their karate instructor, when he is 10 years older, like 28 years old. i know someone who feels this way. and she is convinced he is her soulmate. even though he is her instructor and she is his student. she says she feels it in her, a powerful, comfroting feeling. what do you think?

 

[Touch Of Death]

Originally posted by pinacolada23x
now, i know this is going to sound crazy and all, but, do you think it's crazy for someone to feel like their in love with their karate instructor, when he is 10 years older, like 28 years old. i know someone who feels this way. and she is convinced he is her soulmate. even though he is her instructor and she is his student. she says she feels it in her, a powerful, comfroting feeling. what do you think?

Thats actualy natural. I feel the instructor should resist the temtation of a starstruck female student ten years his junior but it happens and if he makes a habbit of taking advantage of the situation, it sort of makes him a predator. Watch how he handles it and decide if he is on the make for yourself. On the other hand if that lady wants a relationship with her karate instructor, and she is of age, then that is her perogative. Perhaps you like her.

As for your original question, you are either right in the way you feel or you are having a hard time accepting criticism. Weigh the positives against the negatives, and make your choice. Take some Kenpo (ha ha)

 

[Cruentus]

Originally posted by pinacolada23x
.......... what do you think?

Um...I think that this conversation has gotten a little creepy.

 

[Ceicei]

Pinacolada23x,

Let's see what we have here....

You are a female and a high school student. You have a favorite instructor who is a male, and he is the son of the head instructor. He also is very nice to you and all the other instructors don't give you any respect. You've worked with your favorite instructor for the past three years.

This situation does happen, probably more times than is admitted in many martial arts schools. A good instructor works closely with his or her students. It's not unusual for a student to really like the instructor because of that closeness and understanding.

Let's take a step back...

I'm not sure if the person you refer to who is in love with the instructor is yourself? It could be a fellow student? I may be wrong, but many times when a teenager says "a friend is going thru...." often actually is talking about him/herself.

Ok, let's see... You are miserable for several reasons.

One, you aren't enjoying your martial arts because of the other instructors being hard on you. Two, the other instructors aren't letting you feel like you could enjoy your happy moments. Three, you stay in that martial arts because you like (and possibly very much like) your instructor.

If you are the girl who is in love with your instructor:
then Four, you probably feel like you can't have him yourself, even though you would like that to happen. Five, you are a teenager and still examining what love is and what it all means. There is a lot more than what you see about love.

If this is what is happening, what can you do about this?

Realize that the relationship between you and your instructor probably won't go anywhere (unless your instructor decides to pursue it, but DON'T count on it. Many twenty-something instructors do enjoy being around younger students just because it is fun and reminds them of their youth). If possible, keep your friendship with your instructor as just that, a friendship.

You only have a few more months left to work on getting your black belt. Work on getting it and try to not dwell too much about how things are going between you and the instructors at your school.

You plan on going to college. Focus. Don't start a relationship now with anyone because college life will be a lot more fun if you aren't attached to anyone "from back home". The college boys will be fun to hang around with once you get into college.

When you get to college, look into joining a martial arts club at school. Another choice to consider is there are many martial arts schools that are either affliated with the college or very close by. They will have many other students that are of your age range. You probably will enjoy the martial arts more then.

Good luck!

- Ceicei

 

[pinacolada23x]

Ceicei, you are a smart person. everything you said makes complete sense. i appreciate your help. im gonna try to go with the flow for now and see what happens. if things get worse i'll probably leave, if not, i'll keep training hard. thank you.

 

[JoeJ]

I have quite a few years in myself (28), and you shouldn't be treated like that by the instructors. Beginning to sound cultish...

As for calling TangSooDo Karate, well that's what most people think of MA. Besides, do you know what the translation of "TangSoo" is in Japanese - "KaraTe".

Take care-