A lady walks into a shop that sells VERY expensive Persian rugs.She browses
around, then spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she
bends to feel the texture of the rug, she farts very loudly.
Very embarassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her
little accident and hopes a sales person does not show up right now.
As she turns back, there, standing next to her is a salesman.
"Good day madam. How may I help you today?"
Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely rug?"
He answers "Madam, if you farted just touching the rug, you are very likely
to **** when you hear the price"
Two Accountants were walking across the park when one said "Where did you
get such a great bike?"
The second Accountant guy replied "Well, I was walking along yesterday
minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She
threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said "Take what
you want."
The first Accountant guy nodded approvingly "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn't have fit".
Three friends - two straight guys and a gay guy - and their significant
others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all
drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.
First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head
sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much,
you even married a woman name Penny."
Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in either. You
loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman
named Candy!"
The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't
look good, Dick."