When I wake up in the morning and find to my utter dismay that in addition to the seventeen zombies milling about in my front yard, Ive got twelve more in the street and nine who found their way into my back yard, I know I’ve got thirty-eight zombies and I’m in for some blade work this day. Now I can subtract the five that fell into the swimming pool, as they can be dispatched another time, at my leisure. This leaves me with a total of thirty-three that absolutely need to be dealt with before I head out on my daily scavenging mission. If I wake up my wife and alert her to the situation, I can now divide the number of zombies by two, leaving sixteen for each of us, with one left over. That is sixteen and one-half zombies each. We can double-team on that last one. Or, the thought occurs to me that we could hand off the spare long sword to our son, age six, and let him have a go at the last zombie, who happens to be the mean neighbor who yelled at our son last year for trampling the flowers in front of his house. This would be an opportune moment for our son to begin learning to take down Zed on his own, a skill that will serve him well for years to come. Payback, baby. If I estimate that a fresh Zed might burn thirty calories to take down and dispose of, I can multiply sixteen zombies by thirty calories and know that I need 480 calories. That pitiful bowl of oatmeal that I had is not gonna get me very far. I’ve got hungry work ahead of me. What I also know is that I need to fix the yard fence, ‘cause how in the hell did those zombies get into the back yard and the pool in the first place?? So people, practice your blades and brush up on your mathematics. How embarrassing would it be if I took out ten zombies and left twenty-three for my wife, just because I couldn’t do quick division in my head!!!???