Why do Westerners train in exotic unrealistic weapons and ignore practical ones like baseball bats?

Discussion in 'General Martial Arts Talk' started by Bullsherdog, Jan 5, 2020.

  1. Flying Crane

    Flying Crane Sr. Grandmaster

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    When I wake up in the morning and find to my utter dismay that in addition to the seventeen zombies milling about in my front yard, Ive got twelve more in the street and nine who found their way into my back yard, I know I’ve got thirty-eight zombies and I’m in for some blade work this day. Now I can subtract the five that fell into the swimming pool, as they can be dispatched another time, at my leisure. This leaves me with a total of thirty-three that absolutely need to be dealt with before I head out on my daily scavenging mission.

    If I wake up my wife and alert her to the situation, I can now divide the number of zombies by two, leaving sixteen for each of us, with one left over. That is sixteen and one-half zombies each. We can double-team on that last one. Or, the thought occurs to me that we could hand off the spare long sword to our son, age six, and let him have a go at the last zombie, who happens to be the mean neighbor who yelled at our son last year for trampling the flowers in front of his house. This would be an opportune moment for our son to begin learning to take down Zed on his own, a skill that will serve him well for years to come. Payback, baby.

    If I estimate that a fresh Zed might burn thirty calories to take down and dispose of, I can multiply sixteen zombies by thirty calories and know that I need 480 calories. That pitiful bowl of oatmeal that I had is not gonna get me very far. I’ve got hungry work ahead of me.

    What I also know is that I need to fix the yard fence, ‘cause how in the hell did those zombies get into the back yard and the pool in the first place??

    So people, practice your blades and brush up on your mathematics. How embarrassing would it be if I took out ten zombies and left twenty-three for my wife, just because I couldn’t do quick division in my head!!!???
     
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  2. Tez3

    Tez3 Sr. Grandmaster

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    As short a time as that wow! :D My son lives in Bedale a small town up here, the roads are always up for something, you'd think they'd co-ordinate their roads works.
     
  3. Buka

    Buka Grandmaster

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    ZombieT.jpg
     
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  4. Flying Crane

    Flying Crane Sr. Grandmaster

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  5. _Simon_

    _Simon_ Senior Master

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    Essentially, we really nutted out the best ways to attack and defend against ALL types of zombies, making sure to delineate the different attributes, strengths and weaknesses of zombie types.

    I HIGHLY recommend the zombie posts, could save your life!
     
  6. _Simon_

    _Simon_ Senior Master

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    Kids of this generation! Choose "math" over "meth"!


    (Or is that meths..... )
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2020
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  7. _Simon_

    _Simon_ Senior Master

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    .... absolutely post of the year, hands down.. and it's not even February yet!!!!! Pissing myself laughing....

    And wow, we now have the bunkai! The practical application of mathematics!!! :eek:
     
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  8. pdg

    pdg Senior Master

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    Meth is generally an abbreviation for methamphetamine.

    Meths is an abbreviation for methylated spirits.

    Neither are substances I would recommend as particularly healthy to consume for recreational purposes (although both are).
     
  9. Dirty Dog

    Dirty Dog MT Senior Moderator Staff Member

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    Meth is bad. Except when it's good. Because meth injection is either a good way to destroy your health, or a good way to allow higher levels of boost in turbo/supercharged engines.
     
  10. pdg

    pdg Senior Master

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    For use in an engine, would that not be methanol?

    We don't bother abbreviating that word, because it's only 3 syllables ;)
     
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  11. Dirty Dog

    Dirty Dog MT Senior Moderator Staff Member

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    It is, but it's generally referred to as meth in the car world. Just as a transmission is usually called a tranny - another word with drastically varying meanings.
     
  12. pdg

    pdg Senior Master

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    Indeed.

    Here (historically) a tranny (/trannie) was an abbreviation for "transistor radio" - loads of people used to walk around with a tranny in their hand...

    Alternatively it referred to a Ford Transit van - for a time after that it was used as a generic term for any small/medium panel van irrespective of manufacture (You wanna shift a sofa? My mate Trev's got a tranny, I'll give 'im an 'oller on the blower - 'ere, Dave, Trev ain't got shot of 'is tranny 'as 'e?)

    A car transmission refers to the entire drivetrain, the gearbox section just being a gearbox.

    To make a gearbox (or 'box, as in autobox or slushbox if referring to an automatic) into a transmission you need to add a clutch or torque converter, prop (if rwd), diff, halfshafts...

    And methanol is methanol - from my time working within the car and bike world (seems that the definition is somewhat like the "world series"...) - this may have changed in some circles over here with the incessant importation of foreign terms, but generally it's still methanol (or meth'nol/meffnol if the accent supports such).
     
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  13. Azulx

    Azulx Black Belt

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    Where can you watch high school of the dead? Haven't seen that since freshman year lol123
     

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