Want to change dojo but conflicted

[Felix79]

your putting the he cart before the horse! You don't actually know that you will like the other dojo any more than this one. There is a lot to be said for convenience, particularly if it means seeing more of your kids/ partner.

instructors have different teaching styles and student like to learn in different ways. That doesn't make. His style bad, it just may not gel with your preferred learning style. Being shown and then being left to practise would suit me rather than being constantly watched and micro managed and you are always likely to learn more from more experienced students that you are drilling with.

tell him you want somewhere closer to work, so you are going to check out the other place, that way you can always come back if the other place doesn't meet your expectations or the inconvenience gets the better of you. Which you won't be able to do, if you tell him he is a rubbish teacher

Really good point about convenience. I can also consider chatting to him about being more hands on.

I don't think he's rubbish and even if I did, I wouldn't say it. I would just go check out the other schools and not say anything unless I wanted to bail.

The more I write on this thread, the more I realize that I am not happy at this club.

I am thinking that the style is less important than quality instruction.

 

[Felix79]

The way I see it, you have two simple options, and either is entirely ethical (and probably equally suited to trying not to burn bridges). Since you're new, you could just leave. Trust me, this happens a lot with students in their first few months, and won't be much of an issue for most instructors. Your other option is just to ask for a minute of his time at a point when he's not busy changing classes (during a class is usually the easiest, if he's not actively teaching it). Tell him you appreciate his time and teaching, and that you'll be transferring to the other school because it better fits your needs right now. You hope you'll see him and his students around at tournaments and the like, and so on. If you'd been there a year, I'd suggest the latter. At your level of involvement, honestly, just leaving is fine, too.

I really appreciate your thoughtful responses. It makes me feel so much better about it all. I think I will speak with him about it in person rather than just straight quitting. Maybe I will call him up rather than attend the class.

I think I will change styles if i have to. I need a good teacher and not to worry about the style.

I am so sorry for all the qurstions, but we do you think it might be a good option to just quit and then spend some time really checking out all the other styles and dojo in town? There are heaps to choose from and perhaps I haven't considered some. That way I guess I wouldn't even have to tell him about the other club unless I wind up there.

Thanks again for your time and wisdom!

 

[jobo]

Really good point about convenience. I can also consider chatting to him about being more hands on.

But I am irked by the personality and I don't know if I can keep it up for much longer. I want to find a club I can always train at and I just leave every other class frustrated and cringing.

I would never tell him he is rubish. I would just go check out the other schools and not say anything unless I wanted to bail.

The more I write on this thread, the more I realize that I am not happy at this club.

I am thinking that the style is less important than quality instruction.

if you really can't stand the guy, then just leave ! I doubt he will even notice or care much you've gone. Just don't slag him off at the new club

 

[Headhunter]

Do what you want to do. You owe no one anything you don't have to give a reason to why your leaving and tbh if you did leave I don't think they'd really care. He's probably had hundred of students come in train for a bit then leave that's how martial arts goes you'd just be another one of those he won't think anything of it. It may sound harsh but it's the truth

 

[Felix79]

Do what you want to do. You owe no one anything you don't have to give a reason to why your leaving and tbh if you did leave I don't think they'd really care. He's probably had hundred of students come in train for a bit then leave that's how martial arts goes you'd just be another one of those he won't think anything of it. It may sound harsh but it's the truth

Thanks for the comment. Not harsh at all, it is good for me to hear the reality of it and obviously, I am giving too many fucks.

 

[Headhunter]

Thanks for the comment. Not harsh at all, it is good for me to hear the reality of it and obviously, I am giving too many fucks.

Pretty much yes, it's human instinct to think that our actions will have a huge impact on other people but really they don't if you quit he may notice but he won't lose sleep over it and I doubt he'll hate you for it at all. He'll get on with his own stuff

 

[Flying Crane]

While you are checking out another school you do not have an obligation to tell your teacher.

If you do decide to leave the school, then I believe it is good form and good manners to tell him that you will no longer be training with him. It is bad manners to simply disappear.

You do not owe him a detailed explanation. If he asks, you can simply tell him that you have found a place that’s seems a better fit for you. If he gets upset about it, or badmouths the other school, then that is a sign that leaving him is the right choice.

This might be more difficult if you had been training with him for a long time and held significant rank under him. But as a beginner, with only a few months in his school, this should not be a big dramatic event.

 

[Charlemagne]

I did consider this, but I think it shouldn't be necessary. I think I should just say that I checked it out and I think it might suit me better. I've only been there a short time. I don't know... I guess some of these instructors have fragile egos!

You can handle it any number of ways, but I would suggest A) being up front; or, B) just heading somewhere else quietly. Deliberately telling a lie is not going to be the best option. At some point, it will come back to you.

 

[Buka]

Welcome to MartialTalk, Felix.

It's not a big deal unless you think it's big deal. And then, it's only a big deal in your mind.

Just go check out the other place. Spend a couple days there watching, see what you think, how it might fit you and your family. And keep in mind, you're the student, the client, the consumer. You should be looking for what you want. Don't worry about hurting anyone's feeling, Martial Instructors have thick skin. If they don't, they don't last long.

And keep us posted, please.