Hi everyone, I put up a recent post about my hesitation to change dojo because of dissatisfaction with my current instructor. The responses were hugely helpful. I have gone from feeling some weird sense of loyalty to absolutely not giving any fucks about shopping around for what's best for me. Thanks for the advice. Now that I've decided to shop around and find another club, I wanted to post about my frustration. A quick summary of my position: I'm in my 30s with a young family. I feel like I waited too long to get into martial arts despite wanting to for many years. I am behind the 8 ball already and want to throw myself into training. I'm training at a dojo very close by which trains late at night (suits me perfectly with kids). The problem is that the instructor is a bit disinterested and a bit of a tool. I am considering sticking around while shopping for other clubs. I trained in another city and the school was perfect. It was a traditional martial art school that trained in competition, the instructor was an inspiration. He was so invested in all the students and was gentle yet a fierce competitor. I feel like I've been trying to fill the void that club left in my new city, but I just can't find it. I went along to a kickboxing class this week and it was a lot of fun. Lots of hands-on instruction which was awesome (and highlighted what I'm not getting at my current club). The thing is, I want to learn a traditional art, but also one that is really practical. I'm also limited by the number of nights I can train. With young kids, I can't be off every night training. What I'm looking for is a school that checks these boxes: - An instructor that is kind, interested in teaching, and not a tool - I want my girls to train as well, so I would like the instructor to be caring - A traditional art that has some real-world practical application - Not a McDojo full of kids - Somewhere close to home - Somewhere that trains at convenient times Obviously, there are a lot of demands here and I probably won't find the perfect school. I live in a city of about 500,000 people, so there are clubs but not many. A friend said to me that I should learn to adapt. He suggested continuing to train at the dojo with the instructor I don't like because it checks many of the boxes (it's traditional, they compete, it has real-world application, it's close to home, they train late at night). He suggested supplementing this training with another art if possible, perhaps one with an instructor who is a bit better. He said that he continues to train and many of his friends don't, because he has learnt to adapt, just like in real life. Not being a perfectionist is important. What I don't want to do is settle for something crap, when a good school could be nearby. I guess I am searching for a club just like my old one, which I probably won't find. I am also feeling pressure because I want to find it now, and stop wasting time, which I feel like I've already done for many years. Thanks for reading this stream of consciousness. I suppose I don't have a real question, but I'm just feeling confused and would love some advice from anyone who has been in similar positions. I'm thinking that I just keep training at the current club and try out one new place each week. Am I overcomplicating it?