Used up Tooth brush and chewed gum...

[Tames D]

No I grew up made mistakes and learned from them. But good shot sniper

Damn good shot. Thank you. I got to hand it to you... you always have a comeback, even if it is false. You are never wrong.

 

[ballen0351]

Damn good shot. Thank you. I got to hand it to you... you always have a comeback, even if it is false.

Nothing false about it. I call it like I see it. Are you exactly how you were at 19 or have you grown up and looked back and said damn that was stupid. Its not a hypocrite to evolve your beliefs over time. To recognize a problem and look for ways to fix them. If we can change out attitudes away from anything goes who cares to a more safe and less risky behavior then that's good.right?

 

[Big Don]

I'm sure they'd sing a different tune should their mothers, sisters and daughters sleep with dozens of guys...

 

[Tames D]

Nothing false about it. I call it like I see it. Are you exactly how you were at 19 or have you grown up and looked back and said damn that was stupid. Its not a hypocrite to evolve your beliefs over time. To recognize a problem and look for ways to fix them. If we can change out attitudes away from anything goes who cares to a more safe and less risky behavior then that's good.right?

I understand what you are saying, but I'd think your attitude would be different towards others and less judgmental. Just trying to understand you.

 

[Tames D]

Nothing false about it. I call it like I see it. Are you exactly how you were at 19 or have you grown up and looked back and said damn that was stupid. Its not a hypocrite to evolve your beliefs over time. To recognize a problem and look for ways to fix them. If we can change out attitudes away from anything goes who cares to a more safe and less risky behavior then that's good.right?

And I also call it like I see it. No, I'm nothing like I was when I was 19. At that time in my life I didn't care about anyone but myself. It was all about me. I changed alot. I have a family and responsibility. I have people that depend on me for support (my family) and people that depend on me for their livelihood (employees).
Sometimes it's overwhelming but I will never walk away from this responsibility like the 19 year old me would have done. But the point I'm trying to make is that I don't judge people for their circumstances, because I've been there. Instead I help them. I'm not perfect and I know I can be an a hole as people here know. But I think in your case, you judge people while you came from the same background as them. What does it matter that you and I were not angels when we were young. It's all about being more understanding and less judgemental.

 

[ballen0351]

And I also call it like I see it. No, I'm nothing like I was when I was 19. At that time in my life I didn't care about anyone but myself. It was all about me. I changed alot. I have a family and responsibility. I have people that depend on me for support (my family) and people that depend on me for their livelihood (employees).
Sometimes it's overwhelming but I will never walk away from this responsibility like the 19 year old me would have done. But the point I'm trying to make is that I don't judge people for their circumstances, because I've been there. Instead I help them. I'm not perfect and I know I can be an a hole as people here know. But I think in your case, you judge people while you came from the same background as them. What does it matter that you and I were not angels when we were young. It's all about being more understanding and less judgemental.

I'm not judging people. I'm judging the behavior. If we can be honest and agree sleeping around like dogs isn't the best behavior and drop this PC oh its none of my concern. We can start to change the attitude of what's OK in society. We start being honest and say no its not OK to have excessive partners by the time your 25. You as a person are more valuable then some dudes tally on the bed post. Or you don't need to sleep with new girls every night to prove your a man. Or in some places I work its expected for you to have at least one kid by 16 or something is wrong with you. We can't change the culture if you cant even admit its a problem.

 

[ballen0351]

I'm sure they'd sing a different tune should their mothers, sisters and daughters sleep with dozens of guys...

That's what I'm getting at. I would never want my daughters to meet a guy like I was back then.

 

[WaterGal]

The question wasn't do you care how many the question was if they told you the number would you rather it be low or high? If you and your husband were talking about the past and he said you know honey your number _____. Would you rather hear 5 or 50 come out of his mouth. Of he did give a really high number what would you think?

Don't bother answering because I really don't care anymore.

You don't care because you're unwilling to accept a different answer from your own preconception.

I know that I would rather hear "some" than "none". My experience is that experienced partners are better in bed. And I wouldn't care if he said a high number. He lived for 31 years before I ever met him. What he did then was 1) his business and 2) in the past. I do think it probably was quite a bit more than 5, but less than 50 - just like me. And that's fine.

 

[Steve]

That's what I'm getting at. I would never want my daughters to meet a guy like I was back then.

I wouldn't either, but getting back to the original topic, if my daughter is ever seduced by a guy like you, I would hope she knows about STDs and birth control, and doesn't feel like a used up tooth brush or chewed gum.

You've made it clear that you think the number of sexual partners a person has had is important, and that the more sexual partners someone has had, the less desirable that person is as a mate. All of this is fine. I mean, this is your opinion.

I think it's great that you're beginning to moderate your tone and return to some semblance of rational discussion. But here's the real issue I have with your message. You've also made it clear that you just cannot believe anyone would disagree with your opinion, even though I and several others have said so very clearly. You have accused us of lying, of evading a direct question and of pretending to disagree with you. But, you have yet to acknowledge that there are people in this country who just don't think sex is that big a deal.

Pregnancy is a big deal. STDs are a big deal. Rape is a big deal. Treating women like used up tooth brushes is a big deal. But sex? Not a big deal, particularly between consenting adults.

 

[WaterGal]

It does work look at the study I posted from heritage foundation about s county that started a huge don't do it campaign. Pregnancy and teen sex rates went way down

The Heritage Foundation is not an unbiased source, and one single county is just one data point. Also, the teen pregnancy rate has been declining pretty steadily since the 80s across the board.

Congress commissoned a study in 2007 about federally-funded abstinence-only education, and found that teens educated that way were just as likely to have sex, started having sex at the same age and had as many sexual partners as kids who were taught about birth control. Here's an article from Fox News about it, so you don't have to worry about liberal bias:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/2007/04/13/abstinence-programs-not-effective-study-finds/

States that rely mainly on abstinence-only education or no sex ed tend to have the highest teen pregnancy rates, but admittedly that may be due to socioeconomic factors rather than being caused by the abstinence-only education.

I double-checked, and the study I was thinking of was actually about teens that take virginity pledges, who are just as likely as peers from similar backgrounds to have sex, but less likely to use contraception. http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/12/30/virginity.pledges/ That study also found that abstinence-only programs these students get tell them that condoms don't work.

 

[Steve]

Here are a few questions for you, Ballen. It sounds like you were quite the rapscallion in your youth.

Does your wife know you were so promiscuous? If so, why would she marry you when you were a self described slut?

Was your wife also a slut? If not, all things being equal (in other words, she is the same person you fell in love with), if your wife had an equivalent sexual history as you in her youth, would you still have married her, or would she have been chewed gum?

 

[WaterGal]

So, you have a lot of respect for Kim Kardashian, Heidi Fleiss, Monica Lewinski, etc? You know, people who are only famous because of who they slept with.

My lack of respect for Kim Kardashian has nothing to do with her sexual activity (not even sure who she slept with), and entirely because she's nonsense reality-show famous for nothing. I don't know who Heidi Fleiss is, and as for Monica Lewinski, her sin was sleeping with a married man. Cheating is unethical because it's a betrayal of the other spouse, not because it's sex.

 

[WaterGal]

No I grew up made mistakes and learned from them.

Do you think you're a less desirable man now because of your past? Because, from what you say, you're no different than the women you're judging.

 

[WaterGal]

I'm sure they'd sing a different tune should their mothers, sisters and daughters sleep with dozens of guys...

If my mom told me she'd gone out and slept with a dozen guys since my dad died, I'd be happy for her, as long as she was being safe and enjoyed herself. As far as I know, she hasn't been on one date, and it's been 7 years. I wish she'd go out and try to meet someone else.

 

[oftheherd1]

Because parents aren't/weren't. If every parent taught their child about how/why their body is changing, what sex is, how to not get pregnant/STDs, what is consent, etc, sex ed wouldn't be necessary. But they don't, and this stuff is absolutely vital information for every person to know.

I suspect many parents don't discuss such things in a timely manner, what ever that might be. What time/age do you think that should be?

But you imply that a majority of parents don't discuss that with their kids, ever. How can you be sure? Do you and Mr. WaterGal have children of a age to discuss that; have you or Mr. WaterGal discussed it with your children?

doesn't[/I] work. Studies have shown that teens who are taught "abstinance only" have almost as much sex as teens who are taught about birth control, and are more likely to get pregnant and STDs, because they're not using protection properly.

Do the studies look at school teaching only, or also parental teaching. Is it a failure of the method, or of the teaching? I haven't read any of those studies, so I must admit, I don't know.

 

[oftheherd1]

the campaign did not seem to liken the kids to refuse if they did though, it's a different energy all together, much more positive IMO. Don't do it is in itself not a bad idea. But it has to be in context. You tell kids what happens - and not with the intend to gross them out, because eventually we need them to go on and have sex and kids, but here is how it work, this is what can happen. The chances of X, Y or Z are So-and-so %, meaning the failure rate is such.
The not doing it becomes an informed choice, but no better or more socially acceptable than the alternative (hopefully equally informed and accordingly prepared).
Sex isn't immoral.

That is a good point, and in line with your original post. That has been a part of thinking in our western society for a long time. If that is, you are referring to rape/sexual assault, it should not be so. If you are referring to simply making a decision to have a lot of sex with different persons, then you have to examine the sexual mores (real or not) if the society. These days we would not think that life style akin to say theft, robbery or other crimes. But they once would have easily been equated.

 

[Grenadier]

Thread locked, pending staff review.

-Ronald Shin
-MT Assistant Administrator