The Things We Do

[Bill Mattocks]

Comments when people find out I'm a karate student / instructor at age 62:

1) I used to do martial arts when I was a kid. (What made you quit?)

2) Why do you still do it? (Why don't you?)

3) I was gonna do that someday. (Today is a good day.)

4) I do CrossFit. (Great supplement to martial arts!)

5) Show me something. (Trust me, you don't want that free lesson.)

6) Really? That's for kids. (Hmmm, but your WoW and Minecraft aren't?)

7) You must be a violent person. (We're all violent. I train to only be violent if I must, only to the extent necessary, and to do it well if I'm forced to.)

Feel free to add your own...

 

[Xue Sheng]

So, you do Tye Ch-eye.....(yes, yes I do)

I never said much about Xingyiquan because most martial artists out there have no idea what XIngyiquan is

What martial art do you train (Xingyiquan)....what's that? (Kung Fu)

 

[Holmejr]

FMA
But when do you ever carry a stick with you?

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

A: What MA style do you train?
B: I train CMA.
A: What's that?
B: How to land my fist on my opponent's face.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

You nailed most of them, but a few that I get:

Remind me never to fight you (Why are you fighting anyone)
You don't look like someone who could beat me up (Considering you're untrained, you're probably not the best to make that decision)

With kali: what's that? I explain..oh, so you like stabbing people-leads to the "You must be violent" comment.

If I mention muay thai, kempo, or BJJ: what's that? Oh so you must like MMA. Leads to either of the two I said above, or one of Bills.

I normally just say karate if anyone asks. Otherwise I'm going through a whole explanation just for one of a couple predictable responses.

 

[_Simon_]

"Oh cool, what belt are yooou???"

I tell them.

*the deer in headlights look*

Have to go through and explain the whooole kyu/dan system.

"Errherrherr, remind me not to mess with you!"

..... it's a process 🤣

(Granted, it is nice people showing an interest, but it's always the same thing, only about the belts, and assuming I would hurt them... funny huh!)

 

[Bill Mattocks]

I've had several doctors lately due to heart issues. They all ask me the same things, including whether or not I exercise and if so, how much exercise I get. I always say the same thing. "I practice martial arts several times a week."

"Martial arts? You mean like karate?"

"Yes, karate."

"...why?"

"I like to hit people."

Always gets the same response, until recently. My cardiologist didn't bat an eye. He just said "Well, you're on blood thinners now. No more hitting people. Bruises can kill you."

What a bummer.

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

A: Do you still do that chop chop stuff?
B: No! I start using brick.

 

[Tigerwarrior]

Comments when people find out I'm a karate student / instructor at age 62:

1) I used to do martial arts when I was a kid. (What made you quit?)

2) Why do you still do it? (Why don't you?)

3) I was gonna do that someday. (Today is a good day.)

4) I do CrossFit. (Great supplement to martial arts!)

5) Show me something. (Trust me, you don't want that free lesson.)

6) Really? That's for kids. (Hmmm, but your WoW and Minecraft aren't?)

7) You must be a violent person. (We're all violent. I train to only be violent if I must, only to the extent necessary, and to do it well if I'm forced to.)

Feel free to add your own...

No one so far knew what kali was. I just say martial arts because I haven't met anyone yet who knows about kali. It's always karate or kung fu they know about. When they dig and ask questions it's always "are you a black belt" and I tell them my system doesn't have belts, so they say " well are you a black belt?" And I say no, then they write me off as a nerd who doesn't know how to fight because I lack a piece of black fabric. Fun times. The good news is like the rest of you fellas I don't do it mainly for recognition or to be seen as cool, I do it because it is my passion. Recognition is good , but it's deeper than that for me.

 

[Gyakuto]

No more hitting people. Bruises can kill you."

Surely you can hit other people? They’re just not allowed to hit you…the ultimate martial art!

 

[Gyakuto]

Me: Oh, I practise ‘Japanese swordsmanship’.
Them: <silence>…..<look of puzzlement>
Me: …I’d better get on…

 

[Cynik75]

Try to explain somebody with not knowledge what is BJJ about....

 

[O'Malley]

- What do you do?
- Aikido.
- That's a martial art right? Like judo or karate?
- Yep.

Then I normally rant for twenty to fourty minutes about aikido being kind of different, about how it's often presented as the "art of peace" but it's actually inaccurate and about how ultimately the goal is not really technique because you see the human body can be thought of as a group of sticks bundled together by rubber bands and if you use esoteric training to remove the slack from the rubber bands then you get really cool effects that translate to fighting but also other areas what? You don't want a demonstration? Grab my wrist. GRAB MY...

As they listen politely, I can tell the exact moment where they ask themselves whether being curious is actually a good thing and whether there's a socially acceptable way for them to get out of this situation. I usually cut straight to the point: "in other terms, it's a kind of martial yoga". More confusion ensues.

 

[O'Malley]

I find it really strange how some people (it seems to be more of a US thing) consider martial arts as primarily for kids.

Where I've lived (a few countries in Western Europe) yeah kids do martial arts like they do other sports but it's not surprising to see adult practitioners, and "outsiders" usually assume it's for self-defense (first) and maybe health/fun.

 

[O'Malley]

Try to explain somebody with not knowledge what is BJJ about....

"We fight by sweating agressively on top of each other, on the ground."

You might also get the "remind me to never fight you" line. Perhaps for a different reason.

 

[drop bear]

Try to explain somebody with not knowledge what is BJJ about....

Struggle cuddles

 

[_Simon_]

"We fight by sweating agressively on top of each other, on the ground."

You might also get the "remind me to never fight you" line. Perhaps for a different reason.

Struggle cuddles

"It's an art where you try to cuddle your opponent but they really don't want you to, and where your opponent is trying to cuddle you but you really don't want that."

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

No one so far knew what kali was. I just say martial arts because I haven't met anyone yet who knows about kali. It's always karate or kung fu they know about. When they dig and ask questions it's always "are you a black belt" and I tell them my system doesn't have belts, so they say " well are you a black belt?" And I say no, then they write me off as a nerd who doesn't know how to fight because I lack a piece of black fabric. Fun times. The good news is like the rest of you fellas I don't do it mainly for recognition or to be seen as cool, I do it because it is my passion. Recognition is good , but it's deeper than that for me.

My instructor informed me that my kali rank was roughly the equivalent of second degree black belt. I'm pretty sure the only reason he told me that was so I have an answer when people ask that question a million times.

 

[Gyakuto]

I find it really strange how some people (it seems to be more of a US thing) consider martial arts as primarily for kids.

That’s really interesting. I suppose the sight of a little kid in a white karategi and yellow belt and black school shoes being ferried to a class by it’s parents is common in the U.K.

 

[Yokozuna514]

Top three responses when people find out I do karate:

1). Hi-yaaaaa

2). Hands go up to chop and then, “Hi-yaaaaa”

3). Hands go up and circle then, “wax on. Wax off, eh ?”