The Horror of Thermos Fondling

[Phil Elmore]

As my wife and I sat in the café of a local bookstore, sipping cold Chai and Mocha Freeze and enjoying the literary ambiance that can only be had in coffee shops attached to bookstores, my wife identified something I found disturbing.

"That man behind you is fondling the thermoses," she said.

Indeed he was. A middle-aged white man, wearing a tank top and shorts, was moving from insulated mug to travel cup, from thermos to aluminum decanter, touching and stroking each one while doing his best to incur repetitive-motion injury opening and closing each lid. He seemed in no rush to complete this task. It seemed to him, in fact, that it was not the destination of thermos selection but the journey of thermos testing he relished. I pictured him spending his days in some sort of Zen-like in-the-moment awareness, massaging ceramic coffee mugs and resting his face on empty juice boxes during his otherwise empty days and nights.

Thermos Fondler: Read the Column

 

[arnisador]

Sounds like the egg guy from "Clerks"!

 

[jfarnsworth]

Phil you're scaring me with your new avatar.

 

[Seig]

Originally posted by jfarnsworth
Phil you're scaring me with your new avatar.

It would appear he is aiming it at your groin.:anic:

 

[jfarnsworth]

Originally posted by Seig
It would appear he is aiming it at your groin.:anic:

HMMMMMMMMM, very interesting.

 

[Seig]

Originally posted by jfarnsworth
HMMMMMMMMM, very interesting.

Hope you are wearing your Kevlar Cup

 

[jfarnsworth]

Originally posted by Seig
Hope you are wearing your Kevlar Cup

Always man, always.

 

[Seig]

Originally posted by jfarnsworth
Always man, always.

Good thing, could give whole new meaning to "going ballistic"

 

[KenpoDragon]

Originally posted by Seig
Good thing, could give whole new meaning to "going ballistic"

You crack me up Seig BALListic??? Boot to the Groin??? Man you got some weird fascination with hitting or BOOTING or shooting people in the groin. Note to self, never get too close to Seig.