Stop trying to pull the wool over my eyes

Discussion in 'General Martial Arts Talk' started by Kwanjang, Aug 22, 2008.

  1. Kwanjang

    Kwanjang 3rd Black Belt

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    OK, so one night I was teaching class and a guy walked in my dojang, I walked up to him smiled and bowed, then extented my hand, introduced myself and said how can I help you Sir? He said his name and then......said he was a Master of Ninjitsu, looking to train some where and quite possibly wanted to know if he could teach at my school. I asked some basic questions like, do you know who Dr. Hatsumi is? (not sure on the spelling) I am a TKDist and i have a basic understanding of the Doctor.
    He did not! We had been working on wrist locks at the end of class. He kept insisting he would like to demonstate some.....On me, I said, "absolutley not...I don't know you." He was about thirtyfive years old, did I mention he brought his mom in with him? Because this is where its gets interesting! None of my students would allow him to demonstrate. so his mom (who was in her late fifties) steped up-so he could "demonstrate" she threw a hap-hazard swing at him, he evaded and put her into a really sweet looking "Key lock sort of move" Well, he sinched it in...and POP! Yes, he popped his mom's shoulder out of socket. she yelled out in pain, and he said, (I am not kidding you) "mom, let me nerve punch it back in place" :eek: My black belts looked at me just like that! Here it is again, :eek:
    By the way that was the way she looked at him after the dislocation!
    It was apparent he was a fake. But he came in for a couple of nights to try class, and kept asking what belt I would start him out with. I kept telling him, ah....white. The last night he came to class I ask he hold the body shield for my chief instructor and myself. He agreed, and we took turns slamming arc kicks in to the body shield. On my first kick it displaced his body a few feet backwards. :lfao: The look on his face was priceless :eek: Needless to say, after that night he never came back. I have had a few other people come in a say they were a black belt in "whatever" and they didn't know squat. Any similar stories? I would love to hear them. I glad I had the forsight NOT to let him apply a Lock to me.

    Live Long and Prosper
     
  2. Andrew Green

    Andrew Green Grandmaster

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    I had a crazy mom's basement dwelling ninja come in once two. Never claimed to want to teach though...

    Well, the end of the story is he was being a pain in the butt, refusing to tap out or cooperate with his partner, I demonstrated a chicken wing lock on him, same thing, refused to tap so I switched it to a triangle choke... he started sticking his fingers into my throat and mumbled something about "if it was real".... I relaxed a little, told him to go for it, he dugg his fingers in as best he could, eyes rolled back in his head and he started to go out. I let him go and he stomped out after ranting a little about not doing sport training and wanting "real" stuff. We all kinda looked at each other with a WTF look and then had a little laugh.

    ps: My throat was fine, didn't even talk funny or drop dead 3 days later.
     
  3. Brian S

    Brian S Purple Belt

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    :mrtoilet: HAha!! Those are funny!!

    amazing at all the wannabe's out there that do th3 d34dly!!!
     
  4. Steve

    Steve Mostly Harmless

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    I hear about these ninjas, but I've yet to meet one in person.
     
  5. Andrew Green

    Andrew Green Grandmaster

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    I "hope" they are not too common.
     
  6. Flying Crane

    Flying Crane Sr. Grandmaster

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    I had a guy tell me that his friend did the death touch on him. I suggested that perhaps his friend is not very good at it...
     
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  7. MA-Caver

    MA-Caver Sr. Grandmaster

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    I have a friend who is one of these (actually two or three) but this guy went all out on the gear, clothing and everything else. :rolleyes: Kept trying to sneak up on me and all of that. Sometimes he caught me unaware but only because I wasn't in that kind of a mood to be watching out for him. Kept bragging about how many times he could've killed me when I didn't know it.
    SIGH
    Soooo, next few nights I heightened my (street) awareness to a red level (using that color code) and spied him moving from one bush to the next for his apparent ambush. I got to my apartment door and waited til I felt him touch my shoulder for his usual armbar around my throat and whipped around and jabbed the end of my knife (still folded) into his throat and slashed it across (had it been opened it would've struck his windpipe and cut across to his artery) before he could do anything.
    Also took the opportunity afterwards, to tell him how stupid he looked in that Hollywood-ized get up he was wearing at the time.
    SIGH

    Lord spare us from these hollywood wannabes and bless those who are training in the REAL thing.
     
  8. Xue Sheng

    Xue Sheng All weight is underside

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    Had a self proclaimed Ninja Master show up to a multi-art sparing group I was once a part of. All I can say is he did not do so well and did not come again. I am guessing here that you just can't learn to be a ninja by watching movies about ninja.
     
  9. Big Don

    Big Don Sr. Grandmaster

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    I would have probably (Knowing my inner smartass) have told him to have his friend try, try again.
     
  10. Flying Crane

    Flying Crane Sr. Grandmaster

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    ah yes, practice, practice, practice until you get it right...
     
  11. jkembry

    jkembry Black Belt

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    Perhaps it's because ninjas are suppose to be invisible...:lfao:
     
  12. bowser666

    bowser666 2nd Black Belt

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    that guy apparently thought he had Real Ultimate Power. I wonder if there have been any dojo visits from Certified Ki Master . That I woudl love to see !!!!

    P.S. What are wrong with Ninja costumes anyways ? :p
     
  13. Grenadier

    Grenadier Administrator Staff Member

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    I've seen a few situations, where a self-proclaimed "master" comes in, wanting to challenge someone, ranging from some stringy kid in high school (rail thin) claiming that he was a master of swordsmanship, and that he had taught himself how to expertly use the sword.

    I've also seen another who claimed to be a champion mixed martial artist, asserting that he had a blue belt in Brazilian Ju Jutsu, and a black belt in Karate. He took a free class. He broke his toes on the kicking target, while trying to throw a front kick. Yes, that's right... He tried to throw a front kick that impacted on his toe tips.

    Apparently, he now claims that he has trained with the black belts of our Karate organization. [​IMG]
     
  14. Pacificshore

    Pacificshore Purple Belt

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    35 year old walks into your dojo with his mother..........Hmmm, anything wrong with that picture?? ;)
     
  15. Steve

    Steve Mostly Harmless

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    You guys make me so jealous. I would really, really like to meet one of these guys. :D
     
  16. Grenadier

    Grenadier Administrator Staff Member

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    Haven't you heard? It's the new way of fighting drug crime!

    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2008/08/21/2008-08-21_ninjalante_duo_nabbed_in_nj-2.html

     
  17. zDom

    zDom Senior Master

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    :rofl:
     
  18. shihansmurf

    shihansmurf Black Belt

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    I got to beat up a BJJ "black belt" a couple of years ago. He came in to where I was training and asked to work out with us. He was personable, but it became readily apparent that his training was mostly out of books and sans partners to experiment on. Now I am only passable at ground work but I was able to submit him several time without much effort. At one point I held him in the side mount for a good ten minutes or so until he gave up. He never came back. I gotta say I was pretty proud of myself for beating up a "Gracie Black Belt".

    I've beaten up quite a few pro-MMA fighters that don't appear on sherdog.Solid boxing skills trump made up mma cred.

    I've only encountered a couple of ninja over the years. Thank the Lord that nothing happened as I've only ran across them singly. According to the Rule of Ninja Inverse Deadliness Proportionality I wouldn't be talking to you all right now. Now if there were a crowd of ninja....

    Mark
     
  19. JadeDragon3

    JadeDragon3 Black Belt

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    We had this guy come in off the street and claim he was a grandmaster of some style of kung fu and wanted to sparr with my Sifu. The thing was the guy was only like maybe 21 or 22, and he was a grandmaster? My Sifu told him no because of liability issues. He came in with leather wrist straps on wearing kung fu pants and a t shirt and a black satin sash. He talked a lot about how he knew this and that. You could tell that he didn't know ***** from shinolah.
     
  20. Steve

    Steve Mostly Harmless

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    Damn. You guys have all the fun. The closest I ever came to any of this was walking by a guy on the street. He was wearing a black trench coat with lots of studs and chains and it was tied shut with a BJJ purple belt. It was clear that it was a BJJ belt because of the brand. As we passed, I stopped him and started chatting him up about the belt and eventually asked him where he trained. He said he trained at my school. When I mentioned that I trained there as well, things got decidedly awkward. :)


    But regardless of how ridiculous he looked in his purple belt and black trench coat, he wasn't a ninja. :(
     

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