Resolved (Certificate Issues)

Discussion in 'War Stories' started by Æthlyn, Jul 3, 2019.

  1. Æthlyn

    Æthlyn White Belt

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2019
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Greetings,

    This Thread had been resolved and discontinued. Thank you, GP. Your outside opinion clinched it - finally. She is going to drop him and move on, familial expectations or no. Being under this guy just brings her too much stress and unhappiness.

    Much Thanks
    Æthlyn
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2019
  2. gpseymour

    gpseymour MT Moderator Staff Member

    Top Poster Of Month

    • Supporting Member
    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2012
    Messages:
    23,071
    Likes Received:
    6,830
    Trophy Points:
    448
    Location:
    Hendersonville, NC
    You've restricted the options, but I'll still share what my initial reactions are.

    Firstly, if this has been going on for more than 20 years, it's NEVER going to stop, and discussing it with the instructor is unlikely to change anything in a useful way. If she's willing to put up with it, she needs to just accept there are no certificates and never will be.

    If she can't do that, then I can only think of two things that might help, and neither is desirable (apparently):
    1. Find another instructor. Know that she probably would have to start all over on her progressions if she does this, unless she can find one who teaches very similarly and is willing to have her skip-test to her current rank.
    2. Deal with the organization. Note that this probably means she's ALSO going to do #1, because I can't see an instructor who pulls this kind of nonsense liking it very much if she goes over his head.
    You've not mentioned which art this is, or the country, and I would probably not understand the familial obligations and warrior caste culture anyway. From my point of view, I can't see why a person would accept 20 years of excuses, and keep expecting something to change, nor why they'd stay with that instructor if the certificates matter to them.

    (As a note, I've never issued a certificate. I've never personally promoted anyone to black belt, but I'm not sure if I'll issue certificates for that, either. I just don't think they matter very much, except as something to put on the wall and remind us of our accomplishment.)
     
  3. Æthlyn

    Æthlyn White Belt

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2019
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Hello GPSeymour,
     
  4. gpseymour

    gpseymour MT Moderator Staff Member

    Top Poster Of Month

    • Supporting Member
    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2012
    Messages:
    23,071
    Likes Received:
    6,830
    Trophy Points:
    448
    Location:
    Hendersonville, NC
    Oh, and welcome to Martial Talk!
     
  5. Æthlyn

    Æthlyn White Belt

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2019
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Hi GPSeymour,

    Exactly. I've been telling her the same thing for years.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  6. gpseymour

    gpseymour MT Moderator Staff Member

    Top Poster Of Month

    • Supporting Member
    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2012
    Messages:
    23,071
    Likes Received:
    6,830
    Trophy Points:
    448
    Location:
    Hendersonville, NC
    My comment applies to that, as well. If your advice on this hasn't been followed yet, that's unlikely to change.
     
  7. Æthlyn

    Æthlyn White Belt

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2019
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Strange as it sounds, getting an outside opinion who does not know her saying the exact same thing I have been clinched it. All I had to say was: "see?" That convinced her. FINALLY. THANK YOU!!! She is going to go off on her own, 'family obligations' be darned. She doesn't need this in her life. Thanks again, GP.123
     

Share This Page