Redheads....

Bob Hubbard

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(Since we got a blond joke series going, I figured it was only fair to add some for Redheads.)

Q. How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend?
A. She has scratched "stay off MY TURF!" on his back with her nails

Q. What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
A. Normal

Q. What does a redhead, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
A. Men always miss them

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A redhead!

Q. How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
A. She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl

Q. How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
A. There's a hammer embedded in the monitor

Q. What's safer: a redhead or a piranha?
A. The piranha. They only attack in schools

Q. How do you know when you've satisfied a redhead?
A. She unties you

Q: What is the difference between a redhead and a computer?
A: Redhead won't accept a three and a half inch

Q: What do redheads and McDonald's have in common?
A: You've never had it so good and so fast.

Q: What's the Redhead Dating Motto?
A: The fastest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.

--------
The Redhead

A young redhead goes into the doctor's
office and says that her body hurts
wherever she touches it.

"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her
elbow and screams in agony.
She pushes her knee and screams,
pushes her ankle and screams.
Everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, "You're not really a
redhead, are you?"

She says "No, I'm really a blonde".

"I thought so," he says.
"You have a broken finger."
---------
 
Wellllll...... Since i Myself have dated a redhead all i can say is :erg: WOW that was very accurate kaith, now dont get me wrong its a little exaggerated(sp?) but i will say that redheads are all at once the best time and the worst time youve ever had...
 
Originally posted by Kaith Rustaz
(Since we got a blond joke series going, I figured it was only fair to add some for Redheads.)

Q. How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend?
A. She has scratched "stay off MY TURF!" on his back with her nails

Q. What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
A. Normal

Q. What does a redhead, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
A. Men always miss them

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A redhead!

Q. How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
A. She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl

Q. How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
A. There's a hammer embedded in the monitor

Q. What's safer: a redhead or a piranha?
A. The piranha. They only attack in schools

Q. How do you know when you've satisfied a redhead?
A. She unties you

Q: What is the difference between a redhead and a computer?
A: Redhead won't accept a three and a half inch

Q: What do redheads and McDonald's have in common?
A: You've never had it so good and so fast.

Q: What's the Redhead Dating Motto?
A: The fastest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.

-


HEY!!!!

I resemble that remark(s)!! ;)

:angel:
 
I like RedHeads.....I've dated several....

have the scars to prove it.....

I miss them. :D
 
Originally posted by Seig
please, do NOT let my beloved Tess see this thread.

ROFL! Dot and Tess immediately came to mind as I was reading
this!
 
Speaking as a redheaded Scotsman, all these things are both TRUE and apply to both men and women reds. I suppose it suits that some of us are martial artists. (You broke my favorite CD! JUDO CHOP!!!)

As a further example: I'm descended from a Scottish family (Taylor), who earned the nickname "Tailleur Dubhe na Twaighe" in Gaelic, or "the Black Taylor of the Axe," for their propensity to use a Lochaber Axe on people... apparently, the redheads in my family inhereted all the irritability with little of the ability to intimidate people. Darn.

If that doesn't show how many issues we reds have got, I don't know what does.
 
Originally posted by Seig
Just a point I want to bring up, a red head does not have to be involved with you in a relationship to invoke scars.......

D'oh!
 
Originally posted by Seig
please, do NOT let my beloved Tess see this thread.

*Guess who's here*
 

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Originally posted by KenpoTess
*Guess who's here*

Seig,

It looks like you are a very lucky man.


(* Looks around and wonders where all the nice lookiing redheads who like martial arts are? Ok I like Brunettes and Blonedes as well :D *)
 
Whoever said Blondes have more fun, must never have met a Red Head. ;)
 
Originally posted by KenpoGirl
Whoever said Blondes have more fun, must never have met a Red Head. ;)

Pooh didn't work. :( Lets try again.
 

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Originally posted by KenpoGirl
HEY!!!!

I resemble that remark(s)!! ;)

:angel:

They meant natural redheads, gray doesn't count!:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 
Originally posted by Rob_Broad
I have lots of hair. I find it on the pillow every morning.

One of my sisters old boyfriends use to say ......

"I'm not loosing my hair, its in a shoe box in the closet." :rofl:
 
With regards to the earlier comment from Seig, being Scots and Jewish ain't a bad thing! :)

Think of the combination: Eating healthy food so you can drink up a storm to make up for it (and by healthy food, I mean Kosher, not haggis... and by drink up a storm, take your pick). :)

I'm glad I'm a redhead, and I'm proud of the Scots blood, so I suppose I can take a bit of ribbing now and again...




But then, I'm a redhead, so if you find any posts that have [censored] all over 'em, that'd be me.
 
TESS!!!! If that's your real picture thumbs up!!
Seig!! Your a lucky man. - How in the world did you land her????:D
 
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