"Personal Safety" Seminar

[Laurentkd]

Hello all,

On Thursday I am teaching a "personal safety" seminar for senior girls at my local high school. I have done a lot of women's self defense seminars (especially while I was in college) but I am excited about this one, because they don't want any actual physical involvement, which should be interesting! Due to legal worries.. Basically they don't want me really working on techniques with them, but instead talk about what to do BEFORE the need arises (for example travel in groups, don't accept drinks from people, etc). Basically it's to sort of prepare them for the college scene. While I normally teach some basic techniques, I think this total focus on preventative maintenance is important and can be very beneficial, as they are way more likely to be able to remember and use these tips than they ever would some technique they practiced with me one time back in high school.

Anyway, the purpose of my post is.... this is the first seminar like this I have taught since joining MT, and I am wondering if anyone here has anything that I don't normally talk about, and maybe I can add it to my "spiel."

So, if you would, share the tips you think are most important, or the ones you use the most. I am sure many of us will have most of the same tips, but maybe we can all pick up a couple new things from each other.

 

[Carol]

From personal experience, I'd say something very important to stress is being careful when out at night and to avoid being out too late.

Last year I started working nights for the first time in my career and it has been eye-opening. I've stopped for a soda at a small store and narrowly missed seeing it get robbed. I've gotte gas at a brightly lit gas station and saw some creep sneak out from behind the pumps and approach me. I've stopped at a 24 hour drug store and had to call 911 while in the store due to trouble that has broken out. I regularly see drivers on the interstate driving erratically, and I also see policement pulling them over.

I don't work in the city or live in a bad neighborhood. In fact the areas of New England where I live and work sport some of the lowest crime statistics in the country. But, compared to daytime, there is a greater percentage of people out that cause trouble either intentionally (hoodlums) or unintentionally (someone that's had too much to drink). Couple that with the fact that most police forces run a bit lean during the late night hours and that just ends up tipping the odds unfavorably.

I don't know how you can tell this to a stubborn highschooler and be convincing. I probably would have scoffed at the advice a bit but...I think its worth bringing up.

Good luck!

 

[terryl965]

I agree with Carol and good luck with your seminar.

 

[Kacey]

Lauren, I have a handout you can use - it's attached to this post. If you'd like the version with pictures, PM me with an email address and I'll send it to you. The statistics don't have the web addresses on them, but they do have the name of the source, so you should be able to update them. You can also look here for more statistics - since it's from a university and aimed at college-aged students, that might have a bigger impact than some of the crime sites.

 

[kidswarrior]

All of the high schoolers I work with are boys, so don't have any brilliant insights to add (sorry--the girls are all in the K-5 'Goofy' class). But I noticed something in what Carol said. She uses her head to stay safe: called 911, had an awareness of the creep emerging form the shadows at the gas station, watches for erratic drivers, etc. That awareness is 99% of self-defense, IMHO. And thank God, it's proven true for Carol. I noticed that she didn't get to use her Combat Silat skills even once. Lucky for the bad guys.

 

[Grenadier]

One of the seminars I attended focused on something similar. The point that was hammered home, was awareness, as well as explaining the folly of putting too much faith in "go to brightly lit areas," etc.

Now, I certainly do agree, that going to brightly lit areas is better than to dark areas, but Carol's example from above, should be proof, that people will come up to you, regardless of how "secure" an area may really be.

Does this border on paranoia? Maybe, but it's better to prepare for the event that never occurs, than to be caught unprepared for the one that does.

 

[Drac]

You've recieved some excellent advice..I cannot add anything except my wishes for an oustanding and successful seminar...

 

[shesulsa]

Lauren, I have a good handout for exactly that purpose but I won't publish it here on MT without permission from my instructor as most of it is his material. He worked in law enforcement, security, security management and personal protection for many years.

I'll fax or email it to you if you like.

 

[Laurentkd]

Does this border on paranoia? Maybe, but it's better to prepare for the event that never occurs, than to be caught unprepared for the one that does.

Excellent point!! I might even quote you on this if you don't mind!!

 

[Laurentkd]

I really appreciate everyone's feedback. Keeping in mind that this is a talk for seniors in high school getting ready to go off to college, some aspects I am planning on including are:

Never go to a second location. Wherever they take you is going to be better for them and worse for you, so do whatever you can to get away initially.

Along with this, whatever the "bad guy" says, do the opposite. Whatever he tells you not to do is what he is afraid you will do. So if he says don't scream, don't fight back, hold still etc, do exactly the opposite. Anything they tell you is to make the situation better for them, don't let that happen! Don't wait for a "better opportunity" to try to escape, the longer you are with him the better he is going to make the situation for him (the bad guy).

Fight! Fight! Fight! and leave marks! Go for the face/eyes with your nails, fingers, palms, fists anything. If you leave marks there is no way it can be considered "consensual" (I feel this is especially important in date rape type situations).

Never go to a party alone, and never leave alone. If you go with a group (which you should) you stay with the group the entire time. No one goes home with a guy that night. Get a phone number and make the guy take you out on a date (in a safe location), don't just "hook up" that night.

Meet at a location for a date. Don't drive together initially, and don't "hang out" at one or the other's dorm room (I hate this aspect of college-- I never let a guy take me out on a date which only involved sitting in his room watching a movie, but most dates are just this).

There was a good thread on having a "code word" not to long ago, I am going to look that one up.



OK, so those are a few of mine... anyone else have others?

 

[MJS]

Hello all,

On Thursday I am teaching a "personal safety" seminar for senior girls at my local high school. I have done a lot of women's self defense seminars (especially while I was in college) but I am excited about this one, because they don't want any actual physical involvement, which should be interesting! Due to legal worries.. Basically they don't want me really working on techniques with them, but instead talk about what to do BEFORE the need arises (for example travel in groups, don't accept drinks from people, etc). Basically it's to sort of prepare them for the college scene. While I normally teach some basic techniques, I think this total focus on preventative maintenance is important and can be very beneficial, as they are way more likely to be able to remember and use these tips than they ever would some technique they practiced with me one time back in high school.

Anyway, the purpose of my post is.... this is the first seminar like this I have taught since joining MT, and I am wondering if anyone here has anything that I don't normally talk about, and maybe I can add it to my "spiel."

So, if you would, share the tips you think are most important, or the ones you use the most. I am sure many of us will have most of the same tips, but maybe we can all pick up a couple new things from each other.

Seeing that you're limited with what you can teach, I'd focus on overall safety and awareness skills. Being aware of whats going on around them, having their keys already in their hand, walk with a group if possible, watch what they're drinking. Not alcohol per se, but anything they drink. Leaving a drink unattended leaves the door open for someone to slip something in, which can disorient them, etc.

Mike

 

[morph4me]

Seeing that you're limited with what you can teach, I'd focus on overall safety and awareness skills. Being aware of whats going on around them, having their keys already in their hand, walk with a group if possible, watch what they're drinking. Not alcohol per se, but anything they drink. Leaving a drink unattended leaves the door open for someone to slip something in, which can disorient them, etc.

Mike

To would take this an extra step, if they leave thier drinks to go to the ladies room or dance or whatever, even if they leave them with friends, get a new one when they return, their friends are there to have a good time and may be distracted. I taught my daughter to keep her hand on her glass, or her bottle resting on the top, and her bottle in her hand, when she was out.

 

[shesulsa]

The thing I try to impress is that it's not just self-defense it's Self Protection, Life Defense and that Personal Safety is a way of living, daily choices, manner of being.

I try to point out several times during the course of seminars I've given that there's smart living and then there's paranoia. There's no need to walk around afraid of every possible thing, and there are many people who do all the right things and get attacked anyway, though those accounts are fewer than easy victims.

Generally, our society is used to assigning our safety to other people when the opposite is true - we are responsible for much of our own safety in the way we walk, where we go and the choices we make.

 

[Bigshadow]

Read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker. It should give you TONS of things to work with. It would certainly be worth suggesting THEY read it as well.

 

[jks9199]

I really appreciate everyone's feedback. Keeping in mind that this is a talk for seniors in high school getting ready to go off to college, some aspects I am planning on including are:

Never go to a second location. Wherever they take you is going to be better for them and worse for you, so do whatever you can to get away initially.

Along with this, whatever the "bad guy" says, do the opposite. Whatever he tells you not to do is what he is afraid you will do. So if he says don't scream, don't fight back, hold still etc, do exactly the opposite. Anything they tell you is to make the situation better for them, don't let that happen! Don't wait for a "better opportunity" to try to escape, the longer you are with him the better he is going to make the situation for him (the bad guy).

Fight! Fight! Fight! and leave marks! Go for the face/eyes with your nails, fingers, palms, fists anything. If you leave marks there is no way it can be considered "consensual" (I feel this is especially important in date rape type situations).

Never go to a party alone, and never leave alone. If you go with a group (which you should) you stay with the group the entire time. No one goes home with a guy that night. Get a phone number and make the guy take you out on a date (in a safe location), don't just "hook up" that night.

Meet at a location for a date. Don't drive together initially, and don't "hang out" at one or the other's dorm room (I hate this aspect of college-- I never let a guy take me out on a date which only involved sitting in his room watching a movie, but most dates are just this).

There was a good thread on having a "code word" not to long ago, I am going to look that one up.



OK, so those are a few of mine... anyone else have others?

You've got good points in there; I'd contact one of the colleges in your area (or some that you know the kids are likely to attend) and see what they advise you mention.

Remind them to learn how to call for police and fire/EMS help; at the college or in a nearby apartment, it may not be 911. They should also know the basics of how to report a crime (including to look up the non-emergency number ahead of time as well as knowing how to call in an emergency), from talking to the dispatcher (address & location, description of what happened/what's going on/injuries, etc.) through to following up with the cop afterwards. And not to be afraid to report suspicious people, etc. -- and not to be afraid to use campus escort services, either.

I've got one minor disagreement; marks alone do not prove a non-consensual encounter, and thinking that way sets up what I consider to be a poor mindset. Marks SUPPORT the victims statements that something was non-consensual -- but you've still got to say no, in no uncertain terms.

On that note -- while you can't practice physical techniques with them, if time permits, I would encourage you to practice saying NO! with them. Ideally one at a time... I've got one high school girl in my class that I'm afraid won't be able to convincingly say no & mean it because "it's not ladylike" despite practicing in class...

 

[Laurentkd]

Read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker. It should give you TONS of things to work with. It would certainly be worth suggesting THEY read it as well.

I have read several recommendations about this book here, seems I really need to get my hands on it!

 

[ArmorOfGod]

Lauren,
Please follow up how your seminar goes after you are done with it. I am going to be giving the same kind at my church (aimed at women) and would love to hear what worked or didn't work at yours.

AoG

 

[Nomad]

"No" is a complete sentence. Anything you say afterwards qualifies it, shifts the focus, and gives the person you said it to something to hang onto and bargain with. If you're uncomfortable for any reason, don't worry about being rude! (directly borrowed from "The Gift of Fear", but IMO one of the most useful pieces of advice from it.

If you are thinking of carrying a weapon for self-defense, realize that it can be used against you, and is very likely to be unless you have been trained to use it properly. It can also give a false sense of security which may lead you to poorer choices (I'm safe in taking a shortcut through this dark alley because I have a knife in my purse!).

 

[avm247]

1) Buddy system. Never go alone, anywhere.
2) ALWAYS let someone know where you are, when you will be back, and who you are going with.
3) Keep a cell phone
4) Carry a whistle on the key chain (or at least make it easy access).
5a) Walk to the car with your keys in your hand, especially at night.
5b) Check out the car before getting in (especially the back seat and perhaps under the car/truck/SUV).
6) Most universities have a service to escort/accompany students to their cars, especially late at night.
7) Always carry ID.
8) Know thier limits especially with alcohol.
9) Designate a driver.
10) Possibly discuss consequences of "hooking up" (STD, rape...)
11) Discuss "date rape"
12) I would never leave a drink unattended in a group of people I don't know.
13) Call parents at least once a day to let them know they are okay.

Yeah, that last one is a bit of a stretch, but letting the folks know that their little girl is okay is great for their well being. I have a coworker whose daughter calls here everday at a specific time to let her know whats going on that way they are comfortable with her going to school out of state.

 

[Laurentkd]

Lauren,
Please follow up how your seminar goes after you are done with it. I am going to be giving the same kind at my church (aimed at women) and would love to hear what worked or didn't work at yours.

AoG

will do!