New Abbot and Costello Skit
- Thread starter Monkey Turned Wolf
- Start date
OP
- Thread Starter
- #2
Patient (Costello) is C. Receptionist (Abbot) is A
C: Hey, I’m here to see Doctor Pipper.
A Looking over papers: Name?
C Tipping hat: Lou Costello, at your service. And who might you be?
A Not looking up, waves a hand towards the end of the set: The doctor will be with you soon. Have a seat in one of the brown chairs over there.
C Walks over to the edge of the set, does a ‘confused’ antic, walks back: Pardon me?
A: What? The doctors not ready yet. Sit in a chair and wait to be called.
C: Oh, so it can be any chair? That’s good then.
A Finally looks up: What are you talking about?
C: It’s just before you said to sit in a brown chair. And I didn’t see any. But if the color of the chair doesn’t matter, I can just sit anywhere.
A: Chair, brown chair, it’s the same thing. They’re all brown.
C Does an exaggerated double take: Those chairs?
A: Do you see any other chairs?
C Walks over to a chair, and lugs it over: This chair right here? This is the brown chair you want me to sit in?
A: Well, it’s one of them. I’m not too picky. What’s wrong with that chair?
C Smacks own face, then puts the chair in Abbot’s eyes: It’s bright blue!
A: Well, sure, it looks bright blue, but it’s brown.
I got lazy at this point with stage directions
C: This color right here, what color is that?
A: Blue
C: Not brown?
A: Not brown.
C: And you can identify things by the color that you see, right?
A: Absolutely.
C: So then this chair is blue.
A: Well I can certainly see why you’d think that. But actually it’s brown.
C: (frustrated antic)
A: You see, these chairs are actually 100% brown oak. Doctor Pipper kept saying it was too dull in here, so I painted them all blue.
C: Doctor Pipper said it was too dull, so you chose blue?
A: Yeah.
C: But blues the dullest color!
A: Oh, so first you don’t think I know my colors, and now you’re insulting my fashion sense? What do ya take me for, a fool(or schmuck)?
C: All I know is, this chair become a blue chair when you painted it blue. And if you want some excitement, you should paint it pink.
A: PINK???
C: Yup, pink. And you know what? Then it would become a pink chair!
A: That’s it, out!!! I will not handle this disrespect, I want you out of here!
Abbot picks up the brown chair and chases Costello offstage
C: Hey, I’m here to see Doctor Pipper.
A Looking over papers: Name?
C Tipping hat: Lou Costello, at your service. And who might you be?
A Not looking up, waves a hand towards the end of the set: The doctor will be with you soon. Have a seat in one of the brown chairs over there.
C Walks over to the edge of the set, does a ‘confused’ antic, walks back: Pardon me?
A: What? The doctors not ready yet. Sit in a chair and wait to be called.
C: Oh, so it can be any chair? That’s good then.
A Finally looks up: What are you talking about?
C: It’s just before you said to sit in a brown chair. And I didn’t see any. But if the color of the chair doesn’t matter, I can just sit anywhere.
A: Chair, brown chair, it’s the same thing. They’re all brown.
C Does an exaggerated double take: Those chairs?
A: Do you see any other chairs?
C Walks over to a chair, and lugs it over: This chair right here? This is the brown chair you want me to sit in?
A: Well, it’s one of them. I’m not too picky. What’s wrong with that chair?
C Smacks own face, then puts the chair in Abbot’s eyes: It’s bright blue!
A: Well, sure, it looks bright blue, but it’s brown.
I got lazy at this point with stage directions
C: This color right here, what color is that?
A: Blue
C: Not brown?
A: Not brown.
C: And you can identify things by the color that you see, right?
A: Absolutely.
C: So then this chair is blue.
A: Well I can certainly see why you’d think that. But actually it’s brown.
C: (frustrated antic)
A: You see, these chairs are actually 100% brown oak. Doctor Pipper kept saying it was too dull in here, so I painted them all blue.
C: Doctor Pipper said it was too dull, so you chose blue?
A: Yeah.
C: But blues the dullest color!
A: Oh, so first you don’t think I know my colors, and now you’re insulting my fashion sense? What do ya take me for, a fool(or schmuck)?
C: All I know is, this chair become a blue chair when you painted it blue. And if you want some excitement, you should paint it pink.
A: PINK???
C: Yup, pink. And you know what? Then it would become a pink chair!
A: That’s it, out!!! I will not handle this disrespect, I want you out of here!
Abbot picks up the brown chair and chases Costello offstage
