Last Person #5

[Xue Sheng]

When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet - water gets Chuck Norris'ed.

Sharks are apex predators only because Chuck Norris doesn’t hunt sharks.

When Chuck Norris goes shark diving. It's the sharks that jump into a steel cage for their protection.

It took 400 million years for sharks to develop 7 senses. Chuck Norris gave sharks a well-developed sense of fear the first time he went swimming.

When sharks encounter Chuck Norris they are taught to remain calm and slowly swim away.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the lead in Jaws, but producers wanted the film to be longer than 2 minutes.

Sharks are most active at dusk because that is when Chuck Norris calls his mother.

Sharks can smell one drop of Chuck Norris from a mile away, but by then it is often too late.

 

[AngryHobbit]

Sharks are apex predators only because Chuck Norris doesn’t hunt sharks.

When Chuck Norris goes shark diving. It's the sharks that jump into a steel cage for their protection.

It took 400 million years for sharks to develop 7 senses. Chuck Norris gave sharks a well-developed sense of fear the first time he went swimming.

When sharks encounter Chuck Norris they are taught to remain calm and slowly swim away.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the lead in Jaws, but producers wanted the film to be longer than 2 minutes.

Sharks are most active at dusk because that is when Chuck Norris calls his mother.

Sharks can smell one drop of Chuck Norris from a mile away, but by then it is often too late.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker the second Wednesday of every month.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

 

[Buka]

These guys truly rock. Done in one take with no cuts. Awesome.

Norfolk Police Department Lip Sync Battle

 

[AngryHobbit]

These guys truly rock. Done in one take with no cuts. Awesome.

Norfolk Police Department Lip Sync Battle

Well done! That is great!

I love this song - we've done it both in Zumba and in POUND.

 

[granfire]

These guys truly rock. Done in one take with no cuts. Awesome.

Norfolk Police Department Lip Sync Battle

the dude on the left loos like he busted out of Shawshank....
and the firefighter inside got hijacked from the Chicago Fire set....

 

[jks9199]

Been various drama at work, like promotions following Potemkin village selection processes, signals sent about where I stand, communication and general treatment that has me looking for a small mushroom to put on my desk, squad shuffles, and so on. I am pretty damn sure I haven't taken and entire week off short of maybe my wife's shoulder surgery in something like 3 years. Probably longer. And let's not consider all the calls I've answered off the clock, time spent on things that aren't my job but have to be done...

I left work tonight, and am not back until 7/30.

About 20 minutes ago, the phone rings. Can I work tomorrow? Hell no. Let's not even get into the "well, can so-and-so work? can we call them?" What the hell part of I'm on freaking vacation is un-freaking-clear?

 

[Xue Sheng]

Been various drama at work, like promotions following Potemkin village selection processes, signals sent about where I stand, communication and general treatment that has me looking for a small mushroom to put on my desk, squad shuffles, and so on. I am pretty damn sure I haven't taken and entire week off short of maybe my wife's shoulder surgery in something like 3 years. Probably longer. And let's not consider all the calls I've answered off the clock, time spent on things that aren't my job but have to be done...

I left work tonight, and am not back until 7/30.

About 20 minutes ago, the phone rings. Can I work tomorrow? Hell no. Let's not even get into the "well, can so-and-so work? can we call them?" What the hell part of I'm on freaking vacation is un-freaking-clear?

Back in my state security days..... that is exactly the reason why I put an answering machine on my phone.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Your PSA for the day: in POUND, the goal is to NOT rap yourself on knuckles and/or shins.

I don't recall that being a stated goal when I attended.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

These guys truly rock. Done in one take with no cuts. Awesome.

Norfolk Police Department Lip Sync Battle

Way too much fun. Don't those people know they have serious jobs? They keep this up, they'll give everyone the impression they're people like the rest of us. Can't have that.

 

[AngryHobbit]

I don't recall that being a stated goal when I attended.

You missed it while trying not to fall over.

 

[AngryHobbit]

Been various drama at work, like promotions following Potemkin village selection processes, signals sent about where I stand, communication and general treatment that has me looking for a small mushroom to put on my desk, squad shuffles, and so on. I am pretty damn sure I haven't taken and entire week off short of maybe my wife's shoulder surgery in something like 3 years. Probably longer. And let's not consider all the calls I've answered off the clock, time spent on things that aren't my job but have to be done...

I left work tonight, and am not back until 7/30.

About 20 minutes ago, the phone rings. Can I work tomorrow? Hell no. Let's not even get into the "well, can so-and-so work? can we call them?" What the hell part of I'm on freaking vacation is un-freaking-clear?

"No" means freaking "no".

 

[Xue Sheng]

These guys truly rock. Done in one take with no cuts. Awesome.

Norfolk Police Department Lip Sync Battle

There should be a "That's Awesome" icon next to the agree and like buttons...but meanwhile...back in Norfolk...there are taxpayers saying...we just paid for what?

 

[CrazedChris]

I love all these PD videos. My lil bro is a reserve deputy and a firefighter/emt. I keep waiting for our local boys to do one.

Ok, I have to ask, what is the thing with a mushroom on your desk?

 

[AngryHobbit]

How does one take a year-long sabbatical without anyone noticing, while still getting full pay? (Asking for a friend.)

 

[Xue Sheng]

How does one take a year-long sabbatical without anyone noticing, while still getting full pay? (Asking for a friend.)

Manikins..... and motion sensors hooked to a recording of their voice saying things like: "Hello" and "Get the heck away from me"

 

[donald1]

Manikins..... and motion sensors hooked to a recording of their voice saying things like: "Hello" and "Get the heck away from me"

Most importantly you gotta have it say "I'm not a manikin, no need to be suspicious"

 

[Xue Sheng]

Most importantly you gotta have it say "I'm not a manikin, no need to be suspicious"

It should also say "WHAT ATE YOU LOOKIN' AT"

 

[AngryHobbit]

Manikins..... and motion sensors hooked to a recording of their voice saying things like: "Hello" and "Get the heck away from me"

But.... but.... but... what about work? And the patients? And saving the world? And cussing out tech support in Russian?

 

[Xue Sheng]

But.... but.... but... what about work? And the patients? And saving the world? And cussing out tech support in Russian?

The cussing out tech support in Russian can be handled with the motion sensor responses.... as for the rest....who cares....the person you are asking for (not yo of course) is in hiatus...is there a lock on the office door..... that may also help out....do you...umm no...not you.... your friend... have remote access...... check e-mail once and awhile and its all good

 

[AngryHobbit]

The cussing out tech support in Russian can be handled with the motion sensor responses.... as for the rest....who cares....the person you are asking for (not yo of course) is in hiatus...is there a lock on the office door..... that may also help out....do you...umm no...not you.... your friend... have remote access...... check e-mail once and awhile and its all good

I.. I mean... my friend shares the office with another person.