In reality W.T.F.

[terryl965]

Here is a perfect example of what the **** in reality, at Krogers last night. I see a man dragging a boy probaly 6-7 years old and the boy is screaming and yelling, I look over and say is everything ok. His reply mind your own ****ing business about ten seconds later a woman comes running saying stop that man he has my son. There is an off duty police officer there as well. He say stop, the man did and said this is my son too and she has no right to him. Well after about thirty minutes everything calmed down and go to find out they are divorce and the woman was suppose to have the boy back to the father by 6 p.m. split custody I guess and since the boy was not dad went out looking for them and found them at the krogers and went nuts.

I guess it all ended ok with no one being hurt but why do people always use there childern as a tool to get back at there other half. I mean can you imagine how that child must have felt being dragged out of a kroger from his mother by his father because they was a few hours late from going out. The world we live in is terrible and some of the people are even worst. I do not know what happen after the fact because nothing was on the news or in the paper this am.

 

[Manny]

Here is a perfect example of what the **** in reality, at Krogers last night. I see a man dragging a boy probaly 6-7 years old and the boy is screaming and yelling, I look over and say is everything ok. His reply mind your own ****ing business about ten seconds later a woman comes running saying stop that man he has my son. There is an off duty police officer there as well. He say stop, the man did and said this is my son too and she has no right to him. Well after about thirty minutes everything calmed down and go to find out they are divorce and the woman was suppose to have the boy back to the father by 6 p.m. split custody I guess and since the boy was not dad went out looking for them and found them at the krogers and went nuts.

I guess it all ended ok with no one being hurt but why do people always use there childern as a tool to get back at there other half. I mean can you imagine how that child must have felt being dragged out of a kroger from his mother by his father because they was a few hours late from going out. The world we live in is terrible and some of the people are even worst. I do not know what happen after the fact because nothing was on the news or in the paper this am.

I tought your post was about World Tae Kwon Do Federation but then I realice was about for Waht The F.... thing. Yes, it's terrible that parents use their children as a shield or excuse for the the bad relationships beetwen them, Thanx God the thing did'nt turn bad beyond the arguments.

Manny

 

[sfs982000]

It is very unfortunate when children get thrown into the mix of a messy divorce. My brother-in-law has been dealing with a similar situation for years with his ex and it breaks my heart to see how it affects my niece. It sounds like the situation that you stated worked out in the end, but who knows if that was just an isolated incident with that family or a fairly regular occurance. Hopefully they find a somewhat peaceful solution to their problems for their son's sake.

 

[jks9199]

I hate dealing with other people's ****ed up marriages. Even worse -- I hate dealing with them when they put their kids in the middle and use the kids to screw with each other. And I don't have much patience with the ******* parents that do this. (I've actually seen a custody agreement that specified that the kid wear underwear! WTF led to that one?)

Free advice. If you're divorced, get a written, court supported custody order. And stick to it. Somewhere along the way, no matter how amicable you two are, you will fight. After all -- the marriage didn't work, right? A written custody order gives the cops leverage to act. No custody order, in most states, the kid is both of yours still, equally.

 

[granfire]

makes you want to take a rubber hose to their heads...

Poor kid.

(And there, again, I am reminded of how over rated 'growing up' really is)

 

[d1jinx]

sad thing is this kid will grow and and think this is normal and repeat the cycle....

ps. whats Krogers? sounds like a bar...

 

[Balrog]

sad thing is this kid will grow and and think this is normal and repeat the cycle....

ps. whats Krogers? sounds like a bar...

Grocery store chain.

 

[punisher73]

I hate dealing with other people's ****ed up marriages. Even worse -- I hate dealing with them when they put their kids in the middle and use the kids to screw with each other. And I don't have much patience with the ******* parents that do this. (I've actually seen a custody agreement that specified that the kid wear underwear! WTF led to that one?)

Free advice. If you're divorced, get a written, court supported custody order. And stick to it. Somewhere along the way, no matter how amicable you two are, you will fight. After all -- the marriage didn't work, right? A written custody order gives the cops leverage to act. No custody order, in most states, the kid is both of yours still, equally.

Even that depends on deparmental policy etc. All our local ones won't enforce a civil court order. We will document the incident and advise to file a motion and have the judge give 'em their punishment. This is assuming that child is not in danger etc.

But, yes. I agree, I hate getting into custody issues. I don't know how many "exchanges" we get called to babysit so everyone plays nicey nice.

 

[d1jinx]

Grocery store chain.

the only Grocery store I ever knew in Texas was H.E.B. :ultracool

 

[Kacey]

I'm glad you said something - while this was not a stranger abduction, there are too many incidents of stranger abduction of children where the child screams and yells... and is ignored by people who assume that the child is having a tantrum instead of being abducted. This situation came out all right (except for eventual damage to the child from being the "prize" in a divorce) - but it's an issue we all need to be aware of.

 

[jks9199]

Even that depends on deparmental policy etc. All our local ones won't enforce a civil court order. We will document the incident and advise to file a motion and have the judge give 'em their punishment. This is assuming that child is not in danger etc.

But, yes. I agree, I hate getting into custody issues. I don't know how many "exchanges" we get called to babysit so everyone plays nicey nice.

IF and only if there is a court custody agreement, we will enforce it to the extent of giving the kid to the proper parent, per the custody order. Had a couple recently that'll explain what I'm saying.

First one, history of problems. They used to have to exchange in the PD lot... (This is the one with the custody order specifying underwear...) Well, per court order, Dad has physical custody. Mom is supposed to pick the kid up for dinner one night, per the order. Dad isn't sending him out till mom gives him some property bought for the kid which he feels isn't being properly cared for. End result? Kid went with mom, per the order, after we wrangled over the conditions and basically said that dad could get a warrant for petit larceny over the property, since he'd bought it. PITA.

A couple nights back, get called to a residence, different family with no custody order. Dad had picked up the kid for the night. Then mom sees dad at a club... without the kid. (It was nearly midnight...) By the time she gets a ride & such, it's like 2 am. Kid's out, asleep. Has been for hours. Like since before daddy decided to go clubbing. Kid was left in dad's aunt's care. Mom wants the kid. (Yeah, wake up a youngster at some ungawdly hour, and expect the kid to go back to sleep... Maybe my kid's not normal -- but it wouldn't happen.) We finally get a compromise, steered mostly by the fact that mom's ride doesn't have a car seat for the kid. She'll come back in the morning, with an appropriate ride, for the kid. No court paper -- and we're stuck sorting things out for the better part of an hour.

 

[jks9199]

I'm glad you said something - while this was not a stranger abduction, there are too many incidents of stranger abduction of children where the child screams and yells... and is ignored by people who assume that the child is having a tantrum instead of being abducted. This situation came out all right (except for eventual damage to the child from being the "prize" in a divorce) - but it's an issue we all need to be aware of.

Good point... Years back, I got called to a similar situation, except by the time we got there, the kid & parent was gone. We tracked 'em to a nearby address, and made contact, verifying that the kid was basically being a brat and pitching a fit over not getting a toy.

If you see something like this, and are at all in doubt -- at least call the cops! Give 'em as much info as you can. Worst case, we spend half an hour or an hour confirming that all is OK. (Even if it's a parent, do they have custody? Is this some form of abuse?) Hey, that's just time I'd use writing someone a ticket! So you can help your neighbor that way...

 

[armortkd]

I hear you Terry!!! I went thru a brutal divorce where I lost $25,000 in cash, my job, and a house that I gave to my daughter thru my ex. BUT!!!!!!!, my daughter came first to my ex and me. My ex and I are good friends now, but we never used my daughter as a pawn!!! I drive 5 hours each way to visit every weekend, holiday, and 2 months in the Summer (awesome to be a PE coach!!!).

When my daughter had her 5th grade elementary school graduation, her principal who has known my daughter since she was born said this to me: I want to say "thank you" for being a great Father knowing that you worked a 1/2 day, drive 5 hours, and then return back to work tomorrow. So many divorced parents can't put their kids first, and many Fathers often barely see their kids and/or start new relationships/families leaving their kids out of their lives. (She had tears in her eyes.....I broke down)

I admire Steven Lopez for all of his accomplishments!!!! But it isn't even close to being a Father to my daughter. I win a Gold Medal everyday.......everytime she says "I Love You Daddy", she laughs, she smiles, etc!!!!

There are great Dads on MT. Andrew, Terry, and others. Father's Day is my Christmas!!! Everyday is Father's Day to me honestly!!!

 

[punisher73]

I'm glad you said something - while this was not a stranger abduction, there are too many incidents of stranger abduction of children where the child screams and yells... and is ignored by people who assume that the child is having a tantrum instead of being abducted. This situation came out all right (except for eventual damage to the child from being the "prize" in a divorce) - but it's an issue we all need to be aware of.

That is why we always teach our kids to yell "No! You're not my Mom/Dad" over and over. This way EVERYONE knows what is happening and it's not just an issue of a child throwing a fit and needs help.

 

[Kacey]

That is why we always teach our kids to yell "No! You're not my Mom/Dad" over and over. This way EVERYONE knows what is happening and it's not just an issue of a child throwing a fit and needs help.

That's great for your kids... but too many kids are not taught that, nor are they taught to be stay near their parents.

I was grocery shopping one day when an unopened toy flew past my ear, thrown, it turned about, by a boy of about 3 who was being "watched" by a girl of about 6 - when I asked where a parent was, the girl said "Daddy's buying fruit" (the produce department was on the other end of the store), then went back to throwing the ball with the boy. This time the ball hit me, so I asked her to stop, and to take me to her father, at which point she grabbed the boy and ran off. Shortly thereafter, near the entrance, the father started screaming at me for "disciplining" his children and went into a rant about how only he could discipline them. When I pointed out I'd been on the way to the customer service desk to report unsupervised children out of concern for their safety, lest a predator abduct them, he grabbed the children and left, still yelling at me that the toy aisle was a perfectly safe place to leave his kids so he didn't have to "deal with them" while he shopped, threatening to call the police if anyone in the store "interfered" with his children in the future. I could have grabbed one or both of those kids, and no one would have known I was anything other than the parent of a child having a tantrum - and my actions got me yelled at and threatened with police action.

This experience - and other similar, but less intense, situations - are why I applaud Terry's actions, and yet understand the reluctance of many people to interfere in such situations.

 

[granfire]

That's great for your kids... but too many kids are not taught that, nor are they taught to be stay near their parents.

I was grocery shopping one day when an unopened toy flew past my ear, thrown, it turned about, by a boy of about 3 who was being "watched" by a girl of about 6 - when I asked where a parent was, the girl said "Daddy's buying fruit" (the produce department was on the other end of the store), then went back to throwing the ball with the boy. This time the ball hit me, so I asked her to stop, and to take me to her father, at which point she grabbed the boy and ran off. Shortly thereafter, near the entrance, the father started screaming at me for "disciplining" his children and went into a rant about how only he could discipline them. When I pointed out I'd been on the way to the customer service desk to report unsupervised children out of concern for their safety, lest a predator abduct them, he grabbed the children and left, still yelling at me that the toy aisle was a perfectly safe place to leave his kids so he didn't have to "deal with them" while he shopped, threatening to call the police if anyone in the store "interfered" with his children in the future. I could have grabbed one or both of those kids, and no one would have known I was anything other than the parent of a child having a tantrum - and my actions got me yelled at and threatened with police action.

This experience - and other similar, but less intense, situations - are why I applaud Terry's actions, and yet understand the reluctance of many people to interfere in such situations.

Oh God, what a tool!
Those sleeze bags can charm a buzzard of a manure wagon! getting a kid to stray from their parents is easy, snatching unsupervised kids from the store like taking candy from a baby!

I would hate it for the kids, but some forms of stupid are not needed in the gene pool!

(I sure would love to see the police officers on call tho: 'Officers, arrest these people, they were talking to my kids while I was at the other end of the store, with 20 some shelves between me and them')

Isn't that a kind of child endangerment?

 

[jks9199]

Yes. Yes, it is.

It'd be referred to Child & Family Services.

 

[punisher73]

That is why we always teach our kids to yell "No! You're not my Mom/Dad" over and over. This way EVERYONE knows what is happening and it's not just an issue of a child throwing a fit and needs help.

I should have clarified, that is what we teach to all of our juniors in class through our organization. Not just my own kids.

 

[MA-Caver]

I guess it all ended ok with no one being hurt but why do people always use there children as a tool to get back at there other half. I mean can you imagine how that child must have felt being dragged out of a Kroger from his mother by his father because they was a few hours late from going out. I do not know what happen after the fact because nothing was on the news or in the paper this am.

Why?... What would be THE worse way to hurt someone you divorced by taking away something they love more than you. It's more of a power/control thing. Jealousy that the child loves "them" more. No thought is given to the child though it is given a LOT of lip service "I'm only doing what's best for our daughter/son!!" and the child's feelings (which are small and insignificant -- in the parent's eyes because they're so little so what happens to them is little) aren't even worth mentioning, except as a blunt instrument or a sharp tool to hurt the other parent, "look at him, can't you see how hurt he is by you?"

Messed up that is for sure...
But what can you expect from a generation that grew up on self-satisfaction first or the "Me!" generation?

The world we live in is terrible and some of the people are even worst.

Sorry Terry but I'd have to disagree with you on "the world we live in is terrible. Yes! There are terrible, horrible, evil people and they need to be dealt with ...
But the world is a beautiful wonderful place if you know where to go... natural disasters not-withstanding.

You did good... stepping up and saying something and drawing attention to the plight. The parents may not have gotten it... but somewhere deep down inside that kid's brain is going to be the thought/feeling "somebody cares!"

 

[Tez3]

My daughter is a cheer leading coach, she and the head coach teach children and adults of all ages. Recently they got dragged into a situation involving parents who have split up. In the junior team they have two sisters aged about 5 and 7, their parents have just had a very acrimonious break up. A couple of weeks ago there was a big national cheer leading competition, they'd all worked very hard for it, the kids were bursting with excitement but this couple couldn't agree who was going to go and watch the girls! The mother said that if the father was going to watch she'd take the girls out of the competition, he said he was going, they were his daughters etc etc so the mother did what she said she would, she refused to let the girls go to the competition!. My daughter was upset for them as well as for the other little girls as the routine needed a certain amount of people in it. The head coach has also told the parents that she will not pass on messages between them, all of which weren't pleasant!