How do you handle those annoying people in class?

[Tarot]

Last night was my first class at the new dojang I'm trying out. One of the black belt students ran the warm up of the class. When we got to the part where we stretched, she was obviously pretty flexible. I haven't been taking TKD very long (I started it in June, then stopped in Nov. while I looked for a new school) but I am a dancer so I'm pretty flexible too. When she saw me able to do the same stretches as her without much difficulty, she gave me an obvious disgusted look.

Then the Master took over and we did some forms. He told me to just do the form I knew, which is the Palgwe Il Jong form (I know the first three). It wasn't the same form he used for white belts but told me it was fine for me to do. So I did it. The black belt student was behind me during forms. She called the Master over and said something along the lines of, "Are we switching forms and I don't know about it? What's with that? (cue pointing to me)" The Master told her I am coming from another school and that it's fine. Not to worry about it and if changes happen he'll be sure to tell her.

Now she was right behind me, so she had to have known I could hear her. Plus she knew it was my very first class because she asked me. Why in the world would someone act like that? I would think current students would be more welcoming of new students and not give them such a cold environment.

Other than her my first night of TKD + Hapkido went really well.

 

[jdinca]

It appears that getting her BB only involved physical movement. Ignore her, unless you are in a position where you have to pay attention to her, i.e., running the warmup. Even then, don't take the hook.

 

[Swordlady]

Have you tried approaching the black belt in question yet? I would try talking to her first, and politely ask her if there is something bothering her. Maybe she's a little intimidated by you, since you already have some experience, and maybe she has some preconceived notions of how a "beginner" should be.

If she continues to give you a hard time, then go to your head instructor. But do try to work things out with the person you have a problem with first. Happy training!

 

[shesulsa]

I'd be as nice as pie - polite and respectful as though nothing had happened and otherwise ignore her. Sounds like the master has things under control. Just pay attention to master and to your own training.

Keep us updated.

 

[Grenadier]

Of course it's disrespectful from the other lady's part. All yudansha should have respect for their fellow martial artists, and if someone new comes into the school that has previous experience, should simply be patient with them. Maybe she feels threatened by you in some odd way, shape, or form. Maybe she's distrustful of new students. Whatever her reasons, leave her be, as long as she doesn't directly cause any trouble with you.

You can make things easy for everyone, simply by not getting into any arguments with her, and not even interacting with her outside of the classroom. In time, as you advance, and become accustomed to this style, she may very well warm up to you. Give it some time, and see how everyone adjusts.

I've faced a similar situation in a previous school. The distrustful, initially slightly hostile yudansha, ended up becoming one of my best friends in this world.

 

[terryl965]

I would just ignore her responses the Master is the one to make the rules of the school, I would never address a BB about there behavior it is not your place. Any more problems from her just have a sit down with the Master and voice your concerns.
Terry

 

[Andrew Green]

My guess - Intimidated. You are moving in on her "turf"

Are there any other females in the class that are near her level? Or is she her own big fish?

I had a similar student at one time, didn't take kindly to any other females in the class unless they knew their place, and it was below her. Thankfully, said student no longer trains with me.

Keep doing what you're doing, people like this are prone to hanging themselves if you give them some rope...

 

[Tarot]

Thanks guys! I had planned on just ignoring it unless it started interfering with my training. Then my plan was to approach the Master and talk with him. Tonight is my second class, so we'll see how it goes if she's there. Last night she was the only female BB in class. There were other male BBs but I think she outranked them. Although, I now know the proper form to do because I spoke with the Master after class and had him show me what he prefers. So at least she can't say anything about that tonight!

 

[Martial Tucker]

My guess - Intimidated. You are moving in on her "turf"

Are there any other females in the class that are near her level? Or is she her own big fish?

I had a similar student at one time, didn't take kindly to any other females in the class unless they knew their place, and it was below her. Thankfully, said student no longer trains with me.

Keep doing what you're doing, people like this are prone to hanging themselves if you give them some rope...

I agree with this. She sounds insecure and is definitely out of line.
The only caveat that I have is that if she continues with her obvious childishness, the Master should put her in her place without hesitation. If he does not, I would consider it a yellow flag for the school. Either he is not doing his job, or it could be (just a long shot guess) a sign of a "deeper" relationship between her and the Master that is not good for the school or the students.
She has no reason to feel threatened by you as a martial artist given where you are in your training. It seems to me that you are inadvertantly threatening her in some "other way".

 

[arnisador]

Keep doing what you're doing, people like this are prone to hanging themselves if you give them some rope...

Yup.

"I want you to be nice...until it's time to not be nice."

 

[Sin]

The only person you can control is yourself, keep with your training, and those who stand in your way will fall from grace in time.

 

[FearlessFreep]

"I want you to be nice...until it's time to not be nice."

"You won't...I'll let you know[when]"

 

[hongkongfooey]

Sounds like she wants to be the center of attention. I would be as nice as I could to her, since it would most likely irritate her to no end.

 

[Sin]

Tarot, please tell us a little more about yourself, so that we can understand why someone may be jealous of you. You did mention your a dancer. Maybe your an attractive female and the BB isn't attractive at all, or maybe she has some personal things going on right now...

 

[green meanie]

Be nice and ignore her... until you get to spar. Then knock her on her ***. Hard. And often.

 

[Kacey]

I would agree with the previous posters. I have had this problem with other women before - one, in particular, had her ego tied up with her rank relative to other women in the class and in the organization. I was at an event in the city where she lives (which is in a different state from me), and one of the other students we brought with us from Colorado injured himself (no one laid hand on him - he tripped, stood up, and fell back over; torn ACL) and my instructor and teh tournament director, who was local, took him to the hospital. My instructor had my cell phone number, and called me with updates for the group (we were at a restaurant after the tournament) - this woman got upset because my instructor should have called her, because she outranked me... like he was worried about finding her cell number in a strange state at a time like that. Also, being that I was a guest, and since she wasn't there when we sat down, the hosting students gave me a favored seat where I could see and talk to everyone, and when she finally showed up, she wanted me to move (this was after the food was served).

I ignored her, and when she couldn't get a rise out of me, she moved on. This tactic worked for every person who tried it... and is surprisingly similar to what I tell my middle school students - bullies (of any variety) are trying to get an emotional response from you - if you don't respond other than calmly and politely, they will go looking for other targets. Eventually, everyone will have removed themselves as targets, and the bully will move on. Works so-so for middle school students (I mean, they are 11-14 years old), works well for adults.

Good luck to you with your situation and your training!

 

[Lisa]

Without actually being there and seeing everything, it could just be her way. Kinda straight forward and no sugar coating to it. That being said, give it a class or two more and see what happens. Kill her with kindness if you have too but whatever you do, don't let her ruin your good time. Train hard and enjoy yourself. If she is a problem in the school, it will get straightened out on its own.

 

[Eternal Beginner]

Why in the world would someone act like that? I would think current students would be more welcoming of new students and not give them such a cold environment.

Other than her my first night of TKD + Hapkido went really well.

Yeah it is too bad when people are on power or ego trips. We have all encountered them in our MA training. We all know the senior student who feels threatened by new people, heck even instructors can act really stupid and immature when they feel insecure about their own teaching ability and especially if they aren't really experienced.

The best thing to do is just keep on keeping on. Ignore her. There are always those students (not just females) who try to cause drama and excitement in the training hall because their real lives are dull and boring. The best revenge is doing well and letting it roll off your back.

Good luck and have fun!

 

[Tarot]

She wasn't at class tonight, so I'll have to wait till next week to see her again. However class tonight was awesome! I was the only student who showed up and that meant I could ask anything I wanted and go at my own pace. The Master wasn't there, it was another BB who instructed me tonight. She was very nice and friendly. Exactly how I expected a BB to act towards a new student. After class she asked me when I was going to be testing for my yellow belt. This is the first time she's met me and watched my moves, so I took that as a positive sign that I'm performing well. Wheee!

Sin, I don't have too much to tell really. I started TKD in June of last year and stopped in Nov. because I was looking for a new school. I wanted a place where I could train more than twice a week and I wanted to learn weapons. I don't have a
lot of training which is why it seems so odd that particular BB would be intimidated by me. I do dance (ballet, no performing anymore just classes) but I wouldn't call myself a girlie girl by any means.

 

[Lisa]

Andie,

I am so glad that class went better for you tonight. Just keep on keeping on. Sometimes first impressions aren't the best and people don't always put their best foot forward. Remember that what is truly important is how you behave and act in class, not how someone else does. Again, congrats on enjoying your training.