Eyes of Hate

[INDYFIGHTER]

I've noticed that people who are really willing to throw down with the intent of hurting you are usually easily identifiable. I see them sizing up the guys next to them and the hate in their eyes. Then on the oppisite side I've seen their counterparts. The average guy who's just out having a goodtime when one of the these guys decides to push him. These are the ones who's responses surprise you because in the same amount of time it takes to turn your shoulder and walk away one can instead inflict devistating damage. I've seen guys get dropped in seconds, on both sides.

I've learned to never ignore anyone, to look them in the eye and when in doubt, smile and ask "How it's going?".

 

[kidswarrior]

I've learned to never ignore anyone, to look them in the eye and when in doubt, smile and ask "How it's going?".

Yep, does the trick every time. You can see the tension melt away as the smile comes up. I use this with everyone, including every hardcore OG I pass on the street. It's worked every time.

 

[kidswarrior]

Yep, does the trick every time. You can see the tension melt away as the smile comes up. I use this with everyone, including every hardcore OG I pass on the street. It's worked every time.

Whoever repped me for this, thank you. Would love to get a PM to confirm, unless you want to stay anonymous.

 

[MJS]

I've noticed that people who are really willing to throw down with the intent of hurting you are usually easily identifiable. I see them sizing up the guys next to them and the hate in their eyes. Then on the oppisite side I've seen their counterparts. The average guy who's just out having a goodtime when one of the these guys decides to push him. These are the ones who's responses surprise you because in the same amount of time it takes to turn your shoulder and walk away one can instead inflict devistating damage. I've seen guys get dropped in seconds, on both sides.

I've learned to never ignore anyone, to look them in the eye and when in doubt, smile and ask "How it's going?".

I see those types of people all the time. I too, look at people, but the difference is, I'm not looking at them with the attitude that I want to beat them up, but to just be aware of whats going on around me. I'll admit that there have been a few times when I've caught the eye of one of the 'tough guys' and was met with "What are you looking at?" Ignoring them or saying "No problem, I thought you looked like someone I knew." usually solved the problem.

 

[kidswarrior]

I'll admit that there have been a few times when I've caught the eye of one of the 'tough guys' and was met with "What are you looking at?" Ignoring them or saying "No problem, I thought you looked like someone I knew." usually solved the problem.

That's a great self-defense lesson, Mike. :asian:

 

[Drac]

I've learned to never ignore anyone, to look them in the eye and when in doubt, smile and ask "How it's going?".

When working in the inner city I use the "What's happening" line and it works..

 

[still learning]

Hello, Many times similing helps too! Don't be a smart a-- at the same time.

Great idea's from the people above. The whole idea is not to escalate the situtions, be able to walk away with no problems.

Aloha, (throw a kiss instead) ? ? ? ? ? NOT!

 

[tshadowchaser]

smile and ask "How it's going?".

yep and that has saved my rear end when walking on bad streets a few times also

 

[tradrockrat]

When working in the inner city I use the "What's happening" line and it works..

Used the ole head lift with a "sup?" myself. Works well.

 

[shesulsa]

Yes! A friendly smile and a nod or "Hi" or "Morning" or other generic greeting lets people know you noticed them, that you're paying attention.

I love MJS's comeback line, too - very appropriate.

 

[Skip Cooper]

When working in the inner city I use the "What's happening" line and it works..

Haven't been to the inner city since the 1970's, huh?

Used the ole head lift with a "sup?" myself. Works well.

That's more like today...


I'm just kidding guys, I think that greeting them works because it shows that you are not timid. It demonstrates power, because weakness is what is preyed upon by the bad guys. They are never really looking for a real fight, only a fight that they can win quickly and easily. In my experience, if you look away and try to ignore their prescense, then they feel you are afraid and thus an easy mark. If you look at them square in the eyes, yet not in a threatening way, they are easily put off...unless of course if they happen to be psychopaths.

 

[Skip Cooper]

I see those types of people all the time. I too, look at people, but the difference is, I'm not looking at them with the attitude that I want to beat them up, but to just be aware of whats going on around me. I'll admit that there have been a few times when I've caught the eye of one of the 'tough guys' and was met with "What are you looking at?" Ignoring them or saying "No problem, I thought you looked like someone I knew." usually solved the problem.

What a great reply. I have been in many scrapes in my youth because there is no safe answer to that question. If you answer "...nothing" then you insult the guy and the fight is on. If you answer "...I'm looking at you!" then again, the incident escalates to an altercation. I have tried ignoring them, but that seems to irratate the situation also.

There is indeed alot of wisdom here on MT.

 

[kidswarrior]

Haven't been to the inner city since the 1970's, huh?




That's more like today...


I'm just kidding guys, I think that greeting them works because it shows that you are not timid. It demonstrates power, because weakness is what is preyed upon by the bad guys. They are never really looking for a real fight, only a fight that they can win quickly and easily. In my experience, if you look away and try to ignore their prescense, then they feel you are afraid and thus an easy mark. If you look at them square in the eyes, yet not in a threatening way, they are easily put off...unless of course if they happen to be psychopaths.

Good points, Skip. There is one other possibility that might explain why looking these guys in the eye with a friendly--although not submissive--greeting might diffuse things. I've found that many of them feel from experience that mainstream society doesn't really 'see' them. So, since the 'Haves' don't recognize them as anything but troublemakers, then preying on the Haves is all good (You don't 'see' me, I don't repect you). But recognizing them as fellow human beings, rather than fearing them as potential criminals, tends to let them know I see them. They appreciate this recognition, as we all do, and show it.

 

[Carol]

I've had the best luck with ignoring people and avoiding eye contact. I've received advice to the contrary and found that anything that stimulates the other person in to conversation is usually more trouble than its worth.

 

[shesulsa]

I've had the best luck with ignoring people and avoiding eye contact. I've received advice to the contrary and found that anything that stimulates the other person in to conversation is usually more trouble than its worth.

While you're not wrong, I don't think everyone else is either.

I think it really depends on the situation - you get to a point where you have a "feel" for what's the right thing to do.

I most specifically remember walking in a store in the evening hours to find myself being suddenly followed closely and swiftly by a male who outsized me significantly. Now, I make a general practice of walking quickly, so to be followed SO closely, SO swiftly by someone who apparently came out of nowhere was extremely suspicious to me. Once inside the doors and near other people I stepped widely to the side and turned to let the guy pass. He was walking right towards me with a determined look on his face. I returned the same look and said loudly and firmly, "Can I HELP you?" He started walking the other way immediately.

There have been, however, situations where I found myself in unexpected circumstances where I knew the best course of action would be to avoid eye contact, acknowledgement of any kind.

:idunno: Like I said, I think there's a "feel" to the situation at hand.

 

[Carol]

While you're not wrong, I don't think everyone else is either.

I think it really depends on the situation - you get to a point where you have a "feel" for what's the right thing to do.

Couldn't agree more. :asian:

 

[Skip Cooper]

Good points, Skip. There is one other possibility that might explain why looking these guys in the eye with a friendly--although not submissive--greeting might diffuse things. I've found that many of them feel from experience that mainstream society doesn't really 'see' them. So, since the 'Haves' don't recognize them as anything but troublemakers, then preying on the Haves is all good (You don't 'see' me, I don't repect you). But recognizing them as fellow human beings, rather than fearing them as potential criminals, tends to let them know I see them. They appreciate this recognition, as we all do, and show it.

Yes, I see your point. The actual validation of their presense confirms that you see them and thus have respect for their existence.

 

[MJS]

Yes! A friendly smile and a nod or "Hi" or "Morning" or other generic greeting lets people know you noticed them, that you're paying attention.

I love MJS's comeback line, too - very appropriate.

What a great reply. I have been in many scrapes in my youth because there is no safe answer to that question. If you answer "...nothing" then you insult the guy and the fight is on. If you answer "...I'm looking at you!" then again, the incident escalates to an altercation. I have tried ignoring them, but that seems to irratate the situation also.

There is indeed alot of wisdom here on MT.

Thank you both. :asian: I used that line about a year ago when I was out walking my dog thru my condo complex. A car with two guys, probably in their 20s drove by. Both occupants looked at me as they drove by, so thinking that maybe it was someone I knew or someone that knew me, I looked back. Thinking nothing of it, I kept walking. Next thing I hear is, "Hey, you got a ****in' problem?" I stopped, turned around and saw the passenger out of the car. I replied, "Nope, thought you looked familiar, thats all." I stood there for a minute, thinking I'd get a reply back, but nothing. Now, that could be because that reply was good enough for him, or he saw my dog, a Shepherd/Husky mix, who was also looking back at him, and maybe he figured he didn't want to risk a bite. In any case, I turned around and continued my walk.

Mike

 

[Shaderon]

A good point was made above a few posts, there's a lot of thugs out there who have felt little natural respect from people and they think the only way to get it is to enforce it. Showing them a little of that natural respect, by acknowledging them, saying you thought they were familiar or even just smiling is usually enough to gratify that respect craving.

However, when you get someone who is really after you for some reason like with Shesulsa, then the respect does nothing, it's not what they are after, you have to use different tactics then like Shesulsa did.

 

[JBrainard]

Good points, Skip. There is one other possibility that might explain why looking these guys in the eye with a friendly--although not submissive--greeting might diffuse things. I've found that many of them feel from experience that mainstream society doesn't really 'see' them. So, since the 'Haves' don't recognize them as anything but troublemakers, then preying on the Haves is all good (You don't 'see' me, I don't repect you). But recognizing them as fellow human beings, rather than fearing them as potential criminals, tends to let them know I see them. They appreciate this recognition, as we all do, and show it.

That's pretty much what I do. I look them in the eye, grin, and give them a nod of respect. It has never got me into trouble. When I've done this, a few times they have smiled and said 'sup'.
I think it's dead on that simply showing them that you recognize and respect them as human beings goes a long way in and of itself.