Chuck Norris Humor

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Allow me to preface that I am a Chuck Norris fan. He's a good man and has become a media icon. I am not entirely sure how he feels about the fun Chuck Norris 'facts' that have gone viral but I LOVE EM!

So this thread...lets see who can put the last and best Chuck Norris 'fact'. They need not be original but should all be awesome.

I will start:

"Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups he presses the Earth down."
 

Dirty Dog

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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.

Unfortunately, Chuck Norris never cries.



Chuck Norris doesn't need a watch. It's whatever time he says it is.
 

Steve

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There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but they had to change it because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big
Mac at Burger King, and got one.
 

Dirty Dog

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The boogie man looks under his bed to see if Chuck Norris is there...
 

Carol

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Pluto was a planet before Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it in to submission! :eek:
 
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There is no such thing as
tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
 

Dirty Dog

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Tornadoes are just Chuck Norris doing several spinning kicks.


Chuck Norris is allowed TWO carryon bags.
 
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Chuck Norris is allowed TWO carryon bags.

Great now there is coffee all over my keyboard. :)

Although it is not common
knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark
side, and Chuck Norris.
 

rlobrecht

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There's no chin behind Chuck Norris's beard, only another fist.


They once tried to carve Chuck Norris' face into Mt. Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough.
 

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Chuck Norris can speak Braille!
 

arnisador

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When Chuck Norris wants a steak, cows volunteer. It's just easier that way.

(I told this in calculus the other day.)
 

Carol

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The grim reaper once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience ;)
 

jezr74

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Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands, now they are just called the islands.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
 

Kong Soo Do

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Chuck Norris has counted to infinity...twice.
 

jks9199

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Chuck Norris was once bitten by a king cobra. After five agonizing days of horrible pain and suffering... the snake died.
 

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