Chuck Norris Humor

Discussion in 'The Rec Room (Sports and Entertainment)' started by Instructor, Aug 31, 2012.

  1. Instructor

    Instructor Master Black Belt

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    Allow me to preface that I am a Chuck Norris fan. He's a good man and has become a media icon. I am not entirely sure how he feels about the fun Chuck Norris 'facts' that have gone viral but I LOVE EM!

    So this thread...lets see who can put the last and best Chuck Norris 'fact'. They need not be original but should all be awesome.

    I will start:

    "Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups he presses the Earth down."
     
  2. Dirty Dog

    Dirty Dog MT Senior Moderator Staff Member

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    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.

    Unfortunately, Chuck Norris never cries.



    Chuck Norris doesn't need a watch. It's whatever time he says it is.
     
  3. Steve

    Steve Mostly Harmless

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  4. Instructor

    Instructor Master Black Belt

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    Chuck Norris ordered a Big
    Mac at Burger King, and got one.
     
  5. Dirty Dog

    Dirty Dog MT Senior Moderator Staff Member

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    The boogie man looks under his bed to see if Chuck Norris is there...
     
  6. Carol

    Carol Crazy like a...

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    Pluto was a planet before Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it in to submission! :eek:
     
  7. Instructor

    Instructor Master Black Belt

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    There is no such thing as
    tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
     
  8. Dirty Dog

    Dirty Dog MT Senior Moderator Staff Member

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    Tornadoes are just Chuck Norris doing several spinning kicks.


    Chuck Norris is allowed TWO carryon bags.
     
  9. Instructor

    Instructor Master Black Belt

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    Great now there is coffee all over my keyboard. :)

    Although it is not common
    knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark
    side, and Chuck Norris.
     
  10. rlobrecht

    rlobrecht Brown Belt

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    There's no chin behind Chuck Norris's beard, only another fist.


    They once tried to carve Chuck Norris' face into Mt. Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough.
     
  11. Gnarlie

    Gnarlie Master of Arts

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  12. Carol

    Carol Crazy like a...

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    Chuck Norris can speak Braille!
     
  13. arnisador

    arnisador Sr. Grandmaster

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    When Chuck Norris wants a steak, cows volunteer. It's just easier that way.

    (I told this in calculus the other day.)
     
  14. Carol

    Carol Crazy like a...

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    The grim reaper once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience ;)
     
  15. billc

    billc Grandmaster

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    Darth Vader wears Chuck Norris pajamas...
     
  16. jezr74

    jezr74 Master of Arts

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    Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands, now they are just called the islands.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
     
  17. Kong Soo Do

    Kong Soo Do IKSDA Director

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    Chuck Norris has counted to infinity...twice.
     
  18. ks - learning to fly

    ks - learning to fly Senior Master

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    Chuck Norris wanted to sleep in last Saturday and the sun went back down...
     
  19. arnisador

    arnisador Sr. Grandmaster

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    The Cuban Missile Crisis ended when President Kennedy threatened to use Chuck Norris.
     
  20. jks9199

    jks9199 Administrator Staff Member

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    Chuck Norris was once bitten by a king cobra. After five agonizing days of horrible pain and suffering... the snake died.123
     

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