Blond Joke

Taimishu said:
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.
I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it
started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in
and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He
studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble
these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice
cup of tea, and then....."

he sighed, "...let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box".

David
Click to expand...

I think I dated her
 
Oh i got a million of em... but most of the ones that come to mind i can't tell here. So I'll go with this one.

Three women escaped from prison. One was a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn where they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up, they found three large gunnysacks and decided to climb into them for camouflage. About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy came into the barn. The sheriff told his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw and the deputy yelled back, "Just three gunnysacks." The sheriff told him to find out what was in them, so the deputy kicked the first sack, which had the redhead in it. She went, "Bow-wow", so the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in it. Then he kicked the sack with the brunette in it. She went, "Meow", so the deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in it. Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it, and there was no sound at all. So he kicked it again, and finally the blonde said, "Potatoes."
 
A blod, a brunette, and redhead were sitting in the waiting room at the doctors office. All of them were noticably pregnant. The redhead chimed up, I'm having a boy, when we concieved my husband was on top. The Brunette quickly replied that she was having a girls since she was on top when they concieved. The blond burst into tears. When asked what the problems was she told the, "I'm having puppies"
 
Rob Broad said:
A blod, a brunette, and redhead were sitting in the waiting room at the doctors office. All of them were noticably pregnant. The redhead chimed up, I'm having a boy, when we concieved my husband was on top. The Brunette quickly replied that she was having a girls since she was on top when they concieved. The blond burst into tears. When asked what the problems was she told the, "I'm having puppies"
Click to expand...

Hmm I wonder if they were Golden Labs or Retrievers?
(good one Rob but umm...what's a BLOD?? :uhyeah: )
 
Actually as a small child I was very blond but my hair became darker as I grew older. It is hard to type with a splint one finger. I usually catch most of the errors but some do still slip through.
 
Did ya'll hear about the blonde who had an abortion???? She didn't think it was hers.
 
A blond female state-trooper pulls over a woman in red corvette who also happens to be blond. The trooper approches the vehichle and asks the driver for her indentification. "What's that?" asks the driver. "It's the little plastic rectangle with your picture on it" replied the trooper. After digging around in her purse for a while the driver finds her compact, she opens it, sees her reflection and hands it to the trooper. The trooper looked at it and said "Oh, you can go, I didn't realize you were a cop"

and another...

A blonde with 2 red ears walks in to get a hair cut and the barber says "how did you get those red ears?" So she says "I was ironing my clothes and the phone rang instead of picking up the phone I picked up the iron." The barber said "okay, so how did you get the other one?" "The S.O.B. called back!"
 
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.
I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..." he sighed,"let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
 
flatlander said:
pssst....MJ....look upthread a bit.:asian:
Click to expand...
:roflmao:L O freaking L and I swear I'm not a blonde!
 
kenpotex said:
A blond female state-trooper pulls over a woman in red corvette who also happens to be blond. The trooper approches the vehichle and asks the driver for her indentification. "What's that?" asks the driver. "It's the little plastic rectangle with your picture on it" replied the trooper. After digging around in her purse for a while the driver finds her compact, she opens it, sees her reflection and hands it to the trooper. The trooper looked at it and said "Oh, you can go, I didn't realize you were a cop"

and another...

A blonde with 2 red ears walks in to get a hair cut and the barber says "how did you get those red ears?" So she says "I was ironing my clothes and the phone rang instead of picking up the phone I picked up the iron." The barber said "okay, so how did you get the other one?" "The S.O.B. called back!"
Click to expand...
I LOVED the first one - um, why did I like it again?? KT
 
Taimishu said:
I think that makes you an honorary blonde MJ. :uhyeah:

David
Click to expand...
Hmm what do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brunette?... Artificial Intelligence.
 
Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: 'cause the street-sign said "DON'T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"

Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.
 
A state trooper pulls over a blonde in a truck with arkansas tags....

He asks the driver "do you have any ID?"
the blonde replies "bowt whut?"
 
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