A group of A-holes.

[lklawson]

I know if my son was getting beaten up like that, I would have words with that kids parents as well, because the bully's parents may not know that their child is beating up other students. I don't know many parents who willingly want their kids to be school bullies. Some parents fly off the chain when they find that their child is a bully.

Doesn't really help most of the time. Sure the parents may get mad and want to "do something." But, unfortunately, usually the "do something" doesn't turn out to be "do something that works."

Peace favor your sword,
Kirk

 

[lklawson]

I'm not very familiar with US law, but surely if there are bruises being left that qualifies as assault, especially from 17-18 year olds.

Yes, it's illegal. But even if they go into "the system" there's pretty high odds that it won't help.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Sure the parents may get mad and want to "do something." But, unfortunately, usually the "do something" doesn't turn out to be "do something that works."

you don't think it turns out well the majority of the times? I know parents have "what they really want to do" vs "what they are actually going to do." Now if this bullying incident is happening outside of school then I agree that the "want to do" takes priority and it's usually the parent confronting the bully in a physical manner.

 

[Midnight-shadow]

Yes, it's illegal. But even if they go into "the system" there's pretty high odds that it won't help.

Perhaps, but it's a better option than trying to go all "Karate Kid" on the thugs.

 

[Ironbear24]

One of them have been suspended.

 

[lklawson]

you don't think it turns out well the majority of the times?

No, I don't. Most of the time, if they knew what to do, it would have already been done.

Peace favor your sword,
Kirk

 

[lklawson]

Perhaps, but it's a better option than trying to go all "Karate Kid" on the thugs.

In today's environment? No, attacking the assailants would not help. But "better" ? I don't think 99% of the crap that people think of, try, suggest, or have as policy actually does any good.

Peace favor your sword,
Kirk

 

[JowGaWolf]

One of them have been suspended.

seems like things are going in the right direction for this teen. We won't really know the full impact until after the suspension.

 

[JowGaWolf]

In today's environment? No, attacking the assailants would not help. But "better" ? I don't think 99% of the crap that people think of, try, suggest, or have as policy actually does any good.

Peace favor your sword,
Kirk

It's a process and it places the person in a good "legal standing" when you go through the process. That way if it ever turns physical, there is evidence that other methods were tried. But without that process, there's no way to show a history of the effort that was taken to solve the issue.

 

[MA_Student]

One of them have been suspended.

suspension is a total waste of time. All that means is the kids got a few days off school.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

suspension is a total waste of time. All that means is the kids got a few days off school.

If he’s an athlete, it might matter more than that.

 

[hoshin1600]

Teaching self-defence techniques to your friend are nothing more than a band-aid and will not solve the bigger issue, which is that there are a group of thugs running around the school thinking they can get away with stuff like this with no consequences.

i am not sure i agree with you that MA training is nothing more than a band aid.
there is something called Victimology that holds a concept that says that every incident has more than one party involved and that it takes two sides to create a victim/ aggressor relationship. its not the same as blaming the victim but rather an attempt to understand the role the victim plays in their own victimization. studies will show that the intensity of aggressiveness is often correlated to the submissiveness of the victim. long story short this kid is going down a spiral of self confidence loss and this further ramps up the bulling because there is no resistance. the most beneficial thing that can be done is to give this kid his self worth back. the fact that there are bullies out there in the world will never change but if this one kid can increase his confidence and self worth and add to that some self defense skills and he will no longer be the victim. it might be someone else but it wont be him.

@Ironbear24
i think the reason he didnt want you to involve his parents is because this will further degrade his sense of value. every bully through out time has taunted kids "what , you gotta get your daddy involved ,, you cant fight your own battles"
having his parents involved makes him feel less confident and more dependent on them. i would advise you to again in some form or fashion talk to them and see if they can fork over the money so that your friend can join you in your MA training. this will make the parent feel as if they are helping and your friend will feel a little more independent because he still has to do the work to learn.

i am not a big fan of parents going to the school and i am totally against the parent confronting the bullies themselves. both of these solutions embolden the bullies and lessen the self confidence of the victim.
unless the victims dad is like Tony Soprano and hospitalizes the bully then that usually does the trick.

EDIT: and if the bully was suspended there will usually be a retaliation.

 

[hoshin1600]

@Ironbear24
one more thought ,, Dude you did the right thing btw. bulling can lead to some major depression and as we all know many victims take their own life. victims need to know there are solutions out there and people willing to help.

 

[Martial D]

So what? No one but you mentioned TMA vs MMA. It's a bit of a straw man and a diversion.

Who gives a crap? This isn't TMA vs MMA. I like MMA chances against multiples as much, maybe more. Aggression, mindset, certain tactics... It's not hard to apply certain aspects of Ring Generalship to this application.

I'm not sure what bee flew up your butt but you're the only one trying to make this TMA vs. MMA.

It happens more often then you seem to want to acknowledge.

I was just using that as an example, because the 'defeat multiple opponents with this' is a TMA mainstay. Most of the people that believe this is true are TMA guys that have certainly never fought multiple opponents! (outside of people cooperating in class, anyway)

 

[Balrog]

Often times this is useless.

True. However, it is now a matter of record, especially if the parents record the meeting. Then if their kid gets beaten up again on school property, they can file charges against the principal for criminal negligence.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

I was just using that as an example, because the 'defeat multiple opponents with this' is a TMA mainstay. Most of the people that believe this is true are TMA guys that have certainly never fought multiple opponents! (outside of people cooperating in class, anyway)

Where's your evidence for this? Most TMA practitioners I know don't give you good odds for a 1v3

 

[JowGaWolf]

True. However, it is now a matter of record, especially if the parents record the meeting. Then if their kid gets beaten up again on school property, they can file charges against the principal for criminal negligence.

Just to add. The record is official and it doesn't leave room for doubt of what is going on. It also begins to set up the legal right of way in terms of self-defense actions the teen may take.

It puts the school in the chair of accountability. They either deal with the problem which is now official or risk legal issues of their own. Generally. If it's not reported then it "doesn't exist". If it "doesn't exist" then people will deny that it happened or that they were ever informed about it the issue. If it's reported then there's a record and it no longer becomes "my word against their word."

 

[JowGaWolf]

Most TMA practitioners I know don't give you good odds for a 1v3

Most that I know will come out and tell you that 1vs1 is no guarantee and they can usually tell through watching students spar how much or how little martial arts is going to be involved in an actual fight based on the student's ability to actually use the techniques.

edit: I do however understand that there are a group of people who think that just because they know kung fu that they can easily beat people. Most of the people like that are those who don't spar.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Most that I know will come out and tell you that 1vs1 is no guarantee and they can usually tell through watching students spar how much or how little martial arts is going to be involved in an actual fight based on the student's ability to actually use the techniques.

edit: I do however understand that there are a group of people who think that just because they know kung fu that they can easily beat people. Most of the people like that are those who don't spar.

Agreed. Especially that last sentence (I've been one of those people).

 

[Martial D]

Where's your evidence for this? Most TMA practitioners I know don't give you good odds for a 1v3

Are you serious? This was the primary objection to BJJ all through the 90s. "Ya but, its useless against multiple opponents!" As if THEIR style wasn't lol. Don't play coy.