A Bad, Bad Day!

[Brian R. VanCise]

A Bad, Bad Day

A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if to say 'What cha gonna do about it?'

The poor little guy starts crying.

'Come on man I was just giving you a hard time,' the biker says
'I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying.'

'This is the worst day of my life,' says the little guy between sobs. 'I can't do anything right.'

'I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me.

When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I don't have any insurance.

I left my wallet in the cab I took home.

I found my wife in bed with the gardener and my dog bit me.

So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life,
--- and then you show up and drink the damn poison.

 

[stickarts]

Lol!

 

[Live True]

:boing2::roflmao::rofl: iratelau:boing1:

 

[tshadowchaser]

lol

 

[14 Kempo]

I can always use a laugh ... thanks!

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

I can always use a laugh ... thanks!

You know me 14 K I aim to please!

 

[Kacey]

I think this one, which I got in an email, goes right along with yours:

Pull this out when you think you’re having a bad day at work. It’s a letter from a deep sea diver to his sister that apparently got airplay on the radio in Louisianna:

“Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it’s not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wet suit.

This time of year the water is quite cold. So what we do to keep warm is
this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.

It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I’ve used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is to take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It’s like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.

So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.

In agony, I realized what had happened The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don’t have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn’t stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, a long with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn’t poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, the next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat after me, “I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.” And, whenever you’re having a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!”

 

[terryl965]

Both was funny

 

[KenpoGirl75]

Lol

 

[ChingChuan]

Such jokes always make me wonder: "what happened next?"

 

[Xue Sheng]

:lol:

Brain I can begin to tell you how much I needed that.

Thanks :asian:

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

:lol:

Brain I can begin to tell you how much I needed that.

Thanks :asian:

Glad you enjoyed it Xue.

 

[tko4u]

And the biker was probably having a good day!