D_Brady
Purple Belt
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels be placed immediately on all containers:
1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what
the hell happened to your bra.
2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
think you are whispering when you are not.
3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major
factor in dancing like a moron.
4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you
to tell your friends over and over again that you love
them.
5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you
to think you can sing.
6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the
morning.
7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
think you can logically converse with members of the
opposite sex without spitting.
8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in your getting your
*** kicked.
9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you
to roll over in the morning and see something really
scary.
10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that
you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you
are invisible.
13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people
are laughing WITH you. and finally....
14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in
the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally
disappear.
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels be placed immediately on all containers:
1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what
the hell happened to your bra.
2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
think you are whispering when you are not.
3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major
factor in dancing like a moron.
4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you
to tell your friends over and over again that you love
them.
5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you
to think you can sing.
6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the
morning.
7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
think you can logically converse with members of the
opposite sex without spitting.
8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in your getting your
*** kicked.
9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you
to roll over in the morning and see something really
scary.
10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that
you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you
are invisible.
13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people
are laughing WITH you. and finally....
14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in
the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally
disappear.
