Social Services

[OnlyAnEgg]

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi...you know, I just HATE drawing welfare and I'd really much rather have a job and go to work every day."

The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his 18 yr old beautiful nymphomaniac daughter.

You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year".

The guy says, "You're bullsh**ting me!"

The social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it."

 

[Navarre]

So....if this guy doesn't want the job....Where should I submit my resume?

18 yrs old and a nymphomaniac needing an older man, you say ... I am *so* qualified to attend to this young woman.

 

[Bob Hubbard]

I dunno....I think I'd have to negotiate a large living quarters. 2 rooms will barely hold my computer gear and dvd collection.

 

[Swordlady]

Hahaha...that was funny. :boing1: Haven't seen a social work joke before; first time for everything, I guess...

(Says the social worker of 7+ years and counting...)

 

[arnisador]

Lol!

 

[Swordlady]

Ah...found another!

How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?

"The light bulb doesn't need changing, it's the system that needs to change."

None. Social workers never change anything.

None. They empower it to change itself!

None. The light bulb is not burnt out, it's just differently lit.

None. They set up a team to write a paper on coping with darkness.

Two. One to change the bulb and another to put your kids into care.

Five. One to screw it in, three to form the support group, and one to help with placement.

 

[Navarre]

How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb is not burnt out, it's just differently lit.

That's funny!

 

[OnlyAnEgg]

Two. One to change the bulb and another to put your kids into care.

lol...that's Ohio!

 

[Navarre]

I dunno....I think I'd have to negotiate a large living quarters. 2 rooms will barely hold my computer gear and dvd collection.

Dude! You have to be willing to make some sacrifices. ... I guess it's a matter of priorities, huh?

I mean, don't get me wrong. I love my dvds something fierce...but....given the choice? .... Hmmm.

 

[arnisador]

Those are funny! I dated a social worker for a few years, and I can appreciate the jokes.

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Dude! You have to be willing to make some sacrifices. ... I guess it's a matter of priorities, huh?

I mean, don't get me wrong. I love my dvds something fierce...but....given the choice? .... Hmmm.

If she's a redhead.....I might be able to forgo a few discs.

 

[OnlyAnEgg]

If she's a redhead.....I might be able to forgo a few discs.

I'd give up all the gadgetry if she raised an ID card and said, 'Leeloo Dallas Multipass'.

 

[Navarre]

I'd give up all the gadgetry if she raised an ID card and said, 'Leeloo Dallas Multipass'.

Wow, you don't even stop at the human race, do you? ... Went straight to the ultimate specimen.

I like the brunette girl next door..You like the redheaded ultra-girl.

 

[arnisador]

'Leeloo Dallas Multipass'.

Is this from The Fifth Element? I liked that movie!

 

[OnlyAnEgg]

Is this from The Fifth Element? I liked that movie!

ooooooooooooooooh, yes, she is!

 

[Navarre]

ooooooooooooooooh, yes, she is!

Y'see? I knew that. I was with ya the whole time.

 

[OnlyAnEgg]

Ah, yes...

Leeloo Minai Lekarariba-Laminai-Tchai Ekbat De Sebat

 

[arnisador]

Now, that's my kind of social worker!