oxymorons

[Nightingale]

This is a mildly amusing list of oxymorons and words that just plain don't belong together. I thought the last one was great!



ACCORDION MUSIC

ACCURATE ESTIMATE

ACUTE DULLNESS

ACT NATURALLY

ADVANCED BEGINNER

AGING YUPPIE

ANARCHY RULES

ARMY INTELLIGENCE

ARTIFICIAL GRASS

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE

ATHLETIC SCHOLARSHIP

AUTHENTIC REPLICA

BABY GRAND

BALDING HAIR

BANKRUPT MILLIONAIRE

BIGGER HALF

BITTER SWEET

BLACK GOLD

BLACK LIGHT

BOY BANDS WITH INSTRUMENTS

BRIEF LEGAL DESCRIPTION

BUSINESS ETHICS

CAFETERIA FOOD

CALIFORNIA EXPRESSWAY

CARDINAL SIN

CASUAL INTIMACY

CHEAP GAS

CLEARLY AMBIGUOUS

CLEARLY CONFUSED

CLEARLY MISUNDERSTOOD

COMMON SENSE

CONSTANT CHANGE

DEAFENING SILENCE

DELIBERATE MISTAKE

DIVORCE COURT

DODGE RAM

DRY BEER

DULL ROAR

ELEMENTARY CALCULUS

EVEN ODDS

EXTINCT LIFE

FEATHERWEIGHT

FELLOW WOMEN

FOUND MISSING

FREEZER BURN

FRIENDLY FIRE

GENUINE FAKE

GREAT DEPRESSION

HALF EMPTY

HALF FULL

HARD WATER

HOLY WAR

HOPELESSLY OPTIMISTIC

INCREASING DECLINES

JUMBO SHRIMP

JUSTIFIABLY PARANOID

MANDATORY OPTIONS

MEATLESS HAMBURGER

MILITARY INTELLIGENCE

MINOR CRISES

MINOR DISASTER

NEAR MISS

NON-WORKING MOTHER

NORMAL DEVIATION

OBJECTIVE OPINION

ONLY OPTION

OPERATING SYSTEM

PAID VOLUNTEER

RAP MUSIC

RELIGIOUS FACT

ROLLING STOP

RUSH HOUR

SAFE SEX

SCENTED DEODORANT

SOFT ROCK

WAR GAMES

WHITE CHOCOLATE

WHOLESOME

WIRELESS CABLE TV

12 OUNCE POUND CAKE


AND, THE NUMBER ONE OXYMORON:

MICROSOFT WORKS

 

[Rich Parsons]

And they were in alphabetical order also.

With the exception of the Winning entry.

 

[Kirk]

Postal Worker

 

[karatekid1975]

ACT NATURALLY: Yea right. Not in my book hehehehe

ADVANCED BEGINNER: Wait! I haven't got to black belt yet.

CLEARLY CONFUSED: Hey! I resemble this remark

CLEARLY MISUNDERSTOOD: Well, I am.

COMMON SENSE: What's that??????

DELIBERATE MISTAKE: But, this is a good one. Someone hits too hard in sparring, you hit back just as hard, and use the ol' excuse, "Sorry, that was a deliberate mistake."

DRY BEER: What!?!?!?!!? My bottle is empty ... WAITER. I need another beer.

JUMBO SHRIMP: Yummy

JUSTIFIABLY PARANOID: Only when a lot of black belts are around.

MICROSOFT WORKS: Yea right. Works for who

*Just realized she is a dork* Man, I am so cheezy.

 

[jfarnsworth]

I think in some way or another most of the items on this list would describe a lot of the goofs I work with.