My NEW business! "Starlets Escort and Chauffer Service"

[zDom]

So Lindsey getting busted AGAIN for drunk driving and cocaine got me thinking: this latest set of starlets obviously are in deperate need of some services.

So I am going to rent myself out as a one-stop shop of services.

For the low, low price of, I dunno, $100k per year plus room and board? (price is negotiable)

I will offer the following:

• Chauffer services for those late-night party binges. Will ride "shotgun" during pre-party activities so they can enjoy driving their cars but will take the wheel once alcohol is imbibed. This service alone should be worth the annual retainer.

• Physical protection from paparazzi, friends who (but for my sober, watchful eye) might drop incriminating substances in their purses and other harrassments and dangers as they may present themselves.

• "Mentoring" in the form of non-judgmental advice upon request (and occassional unsolicited but useful advice such as reminding them to put on their panties before venturing forth onto the party scene/retrieve the same upon leaving private encounters or that shaving their head MAY be regretted in the near future)

• Personal training / self-defense sessions for starlet and/or any other interested staff/entourage members. Naked grappling will be part of the course for all female parties as date rape is surely a hazard of being a drunk, party girl.


Obviously this kind of personal attention will require full-time attention so I will be hiring additional martial artists as clients sign up for the service.

Feel free to send your resumes. Cool sunglasses will be provided upon securing a position.

I haven't worked out ALL the details, so suggestions are welcome

 

[Carol]

Moderator Note:

Thread moved to Locker Room.


- Carol Kaur -
- MT Moderator -

 

[MA-Caver]

I could do that job... *hic* n-need ah drivar? *hic*


"...h-hey Lin-Linsee... c'mere safest place is up here wif-wif me... shhhurrr y-y-you k-in drrrivve"

 

[CuongNhuka]

Naked grappling will be part of the course for all female parties

Feel free to send your resumes. Cool sunglasses will be provided upon securing a position.

I haven't worked out ALL the details, so suggestions are welcome

1, Yes, I will send my resume. If only to get the get the cool sunglasses and sell pictures to the paparazzi.

2, I like the naked grappling idea. I shall not say why, but it should be implied.

3, I will email you a list of suggestions as they come to me.

4, This thread is a MEGA-UBER LOL!

 

[grydth]

I fully recognize this is a joke thread.... but does it occur to anyone that this service is exactly what the troubled young woman needs?

With daughters ages 8 and 11, I've seen perhaps more of Ms Lohan's movies than I'd wish. She is right on track to be the stereotypical tragic young actress who dies of drugs or a car wreck... while America lustingly watches every step of the self destruction in the media (which prefers to serve up this death voyeurism, this real life snuff film rather than report news). I can see the talking heads as they report, again, of the young woman who had it all... dead at 25 (insert crocodile tear here).

If only she did in fact have one of you sensei or sifu.... instead of the selfish dysfunctional parents... instead of the parastic 'friends'....instead of the Hollywierd older actors who only showed her how to play musical beds between lines of coke.... even just one of you to be a responsible mentor, example, parent figure... or even just a safe driver.

There are a number of you who probably safe scores of regular kids every year in your dojos, just by giving them the lessons, examples and life skills to make a long and meaningful life. My respects to each of you... but nobody's going to save this kid.

 

[CuongNhuka]

Grydth, while I fully agree with you, if Lidsey was my student, I would beat her EVERY time she did something stupid like what she just did.

 

[zDom]

I fully recognize this is a joke thread.... but does it occur to anyone that this service is exactly what the troubled young woman needs?

With daughters ages 8 and 11, I've seen perhaps more of Ms Lohan's movies than I'd wish. She is right on track to be the stereotypical tragic young actress who dies of drugs or a car wreck... while America lustingly watches every step of the self destruction in the media (which prefers to serve up this death voyeurism, this real life snuff film rather than report news). I can see the talking heads as they report, again, of the young woman who had it all... dead at 25 (insert crocodile tear here).

If only she did in fact have one of you sensei or sifu.... instead of the selfish dysfunctional parents... instead of the parastic 'friends'....instead of the Hollywierd older actors who only showed her how to play musical beds between lines of coke.... even just one of you to be a responsible mentor, example, parent figure... or even just a safe driver.

There are a number of you who probably safe scores of regular kids every year in your dojos, just by giving them the lessons, examples and life skills to make a long and meaningful life. My respects to each of you... but nobody's going to save this kid.

Yep. You are absolutely right. I mean, obviously I was joking in part — but I was thinking the exact same thing you wrote: naked grappling aside, Lindsey (and others like her - Paris, et al.) could really use a service like this!

And not just her: Phoenix River and other young male actors have also desperately needed somone to save them from themselves.

I'll leave it to our MT ladies to set up a service for them

 

[CuongNhuka]

I'll leave it to our MT ladies to set up a service for them

Yah, I'll pass on wrestling naked with male actors. LOL