- Joined
- Jun 9, 2006
- Messages
- 3,692
- Reaction score
- 176
M4A1
2007 by Andy Moynihan, written in the same style as Bob Gannon's poem "M-1" concerning his love for the rifle he carried during his service when it was standard issue. I have done the same albeit with a more cynical bent because I ****ing hate my issued service weapon.
M4A1
I just looked at a rifle
Last weekend at the shop
Of all the pieces in the rack
Its price was near the top
This was the civil model;
It had no three round burst,
They're even tryn'na ban THAT much
(the Democrats be cursed)
But absent that one small detail
Its outward look did seem
to match my issue weapon
the M4A1 Carbine.
It started 40 years ago
this design and its owner,
who bore the very accurate
last name of Eugene Stoner.
For Air Force base security
the rifle was designed
then sponsored by a general
who'd lost his ****in' mind.
And if that wasn't bad enough
the SECDEF had the gall
to pitch it to his "whiz kids"
who were no damn help at all.
To make a long tale shorter
they called it M-16
And thus began a cluster****
the like we'd never seen
The stock was made of plastic
and the joke among our boys
was that they had been issued
"The gun from Mattel Toys".
Then caliber was shrunk down
to a pissant five-five-six;
It's just an o'ergrown .22
with more powder in the mix.
And speaking of the powder
'twas the next goof to transpire,
for it would quickly leave the bore
just too fouled up to fire
And leave the poor disgruntled grunt
yards from the enemy,
to break his weapon down right there
(no cleaning kits, you see)
Eventually the word got back
designers did proclaim,
"with just some tweaking here or there
they'd be as right as rain!"
So off they went and blueprinted
all manner of directions,
As time went on new guns appeared
with all the new corrections.
stick powder and a chrome lined bore,
A new forward assist,
they tried to patch up anything
they thought they might have missed
4 decades and 3 models hence
they did the best they could
And after over 40 years
they're STILL no goddamn good.
And now this latest carbine size;
Come time my oath I swore,
replaced the M16A2 *and* M16A4.
Yeah, I can take the thing apart
and slap it back together;
can even shoot a decent group
in any kind of weather
But i just can't quite make my peace
though some may call it slander,
I find its workings too complex
Its caliber substandard.
Well, time moves on and things evolve
with smallarms and with men,
the trusted bond of man and gun
We'll rarely see again
There's been talk now for many years
that new smallarms are needed,
I fear from reading shooting news
This talk has now been heeded.
They're testing now a prototype
Whose praise they loudly sing,
(they're callin' it the XM-29 or some damn thing).
Its crazy bells and whistles
do not my respect command;
There's in me soldier not enough
and too much rifleman.
"Land Warrior" they're callin' it;
this new thing they've devised,
all crazy guns and uplinks
and computers in your eyes.
It seems to me at long last
I must go and drown my woes,
The golden age of small arms
has drawn soundly to a close.
But all this notwithstanding,
should disaster threaten near,
"antique" or not, my guns and I
Will be a team to fear.
2007 by Andy Moynihan, written in the same style as Bob Gannon's poem "M-1" concerning his love for the rifle he carried during his service when it was standard issue. I have done the same albeit with a more cynical bent because I ****ing hate my issued service weapon.
M4A1
I just looked at a rifle
Last weekend at the shop
Of all the pieces in the rack
Its price was near the top
This was the civil model;
It had no three round burst,
They're even tryn'na ban THAT much
(the Democrats be cursed)
But absent that one small detail
Its outward look did seem
to match my issue weapon
the M4A1 Carbine.
It started 40 years ago
this design and its owner,
who bore the very accurate
last name of Eugene Stoner.
For Air Force base security
the rifle was designed
then sponsored by a general
who'd lost his ****in' mind.
And if that wasn't bad enough
the SECDEF had the gall
to pitch it to his "whiz kids"
who were no damn help at all.
To make a long tale shorter
they called it M-16
And thus began a cluster****
the like we'd never seen
The stock was made of plastic
and the joke among our boys
was that they had been issued
"The gun from Mattel Toys".
Then caliber was shrunk down
to a pissant five-five-six;
It's just an o'ergrown .22
with more powder in the mix.
And speaking of the powder
'twas the next goof to transpire,
for it would quickly leave the bore
just too fouled up to fire
And leave the poor disgruntled grunt
yards from the enemy,
to break his weapon down right there
(no cleaning kits, you see)
Eventually the word got back
designers did proclaim,
"with just some tweaking here or there
they'd be as right as rain!"
So off they went and blueprinted
all manner of directions,
As time went on new guns appeared
with all the new corrections.
stick powder and a chrome lined bore,
A new forward assist,
they tried to patch up anything
they thought they might have missed
4 decades and 3 models hence
they did the best they could
And after over 40 years
they're STILL no goddamn good.
And now this latest carbine size;
Come time my oath I swore,
replaced the M16A2 *and* M16A4.
Yeah, I can take the thing apart
and slap it back together;
can even shoot a decent group
in any kind of weather
But i just can't quite make my peace
though some may call it slander,
I find its workings too complex
Its caliber substandard.
Well, time moves on and things evolve
with smallarms and with men,
the trusted bond of man and gun
We'll rarely see again
There's been talk now for many years
that new smallarms are needed,
I fear from reading shooting news
This talk has now been heeded.
They're testing now a prototype
Whose praise they loudly sing,
(they're callin' it the XM-29 or some damn thing).
Its crazy bells and whistles
do not my respect command;
There's in me soldier not enough
and too much rifleman.
"Land Warrior" they're callin' it;
this new thing they've devised,
all crazy guns and uplinks
and computers in your eyes.
It seems to me at long last
I must go and drown my woes,
The golden age of small arms
has drawn soundly to a close.
But all this notwithstanding,
should disaster threaten near,
"antique" or not, my guns and I
Will be a team to fear.
very nice!
