idiot sightings

kid

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Idiot Sighting #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."

Idiot Sighting #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving!"

Idiot Sighting #3:
At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager spoke up and said, "this is fun. We should have lunch like this more often," Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.

Idiot Sighting #4:
I worked with an Individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn on.

Idiot Sighting #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" "I know," answered the young man. "I already got that side..."



Anyone want to add on to this growing list?



kid
 

BrandiJo

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kid said:
Idiot Sighting #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" "I know," answered the young man. "I already got that side..."
are you serious?
 
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kid

kid

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I was in my wrighting class and the teacher was going over the content of what she wanted on our final paper. A woman in the back raised her hand and asked, "is this going to count twords our grade?" what the heck r u doing in college? Holy dung!


maybe this one counts, We were sparing in the last half hour of class and this guy from the same school but a higher belt class was there to freshen up skills. He starts telling me that he's on a higher level than anyone in the room besides the teacher and that anyone else he will whoop upon. We had an odd amount of people in class and i was standing on the side waiting for my turn watchin this guy and the teacher spar. The teacher stopmed him a new butt hole. Then had a phone call so i steped in and this guy told me he'd take it easy on me. 2 seconds into it i poped him in the head. Then i did it again 4 seconds later, then again 10 seconds later. I kept on taking this guy to town. and five minutes later we switched. He came up to me after class and said "Your almost at my level of sparing" Im thinkin to myself, this guy couldn't have been much easier. But whatever.


Kid
 
R

relytjj

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kid said:
I was in my wrighting class and the teacher was going over the content of what she wanted on our final paper. A woman in the back raised her hand and asked, "is this going to count twords our grade?" what the heck r u doing in college? Holy dung!
Hows that working out for you?
 

Gin-Gin

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Good ones, Kid. I have one to add that unfortunately, really happened this past March:

I got a flat tire on the way home after class & it seemed to take forever to change it (I was tired from class & it had been a long day). Since it was 9pm, I waited until I could pull into a well-lit parking lot, which turned out to be the parking lot of a fast food restaurant. I parked behind the drive thru sign & got out my tools & started to change the tire. At least 6 or 7 people drove by & just looked at me. None of them said a word, they just sat in their cars & watched me as they ordered their food!:mad: Only the last person said anything to me which was, "Are you changing a tire?"

:rolleyes:
 
K

Kempogeek

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Gin-Gin said:
Good ones, Kid. I have one to add that unfortunately, really happened this past March:

I got a flat tire on the way home after class & it seemed to take forever to change it (I was tired from class & it had been a long day). Since it was 9pm, I waited until I could pull into a well-lit parking lot, which turned out to be the parking lot of a fast food restaurant. I parked behind the drive thru sign & got out my tools & started to change the tire. At least 6 or 7 people drove by & just looked at me. None of them said a word, they just sat in their cars & watched me as they ordered their food!:mad: Only the last person said anything to me which was, "Are you changing a tire?"

:rolleyes:
DUH!!! Only one thing to say to that person while tapping the head: "Hello? Hello? Anyone Home?? Think McFly Think!!"
 

Gin-Gin

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Kempogeek said:
DUH!!! Only one thing to say to that person while tapping the head: "Hello? Hello? Anyone Home?? Think McFly Think!!"
Thanks, Steve. I was so tired that I thought it best not to say anything to them but trust me, I was tempted! :rofl:
 

MA-Caver

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I was dropping off some stuff at the public library with a friend in tow. He commented that he loves libraries. After a moment inspiration struck him and he wanted to get some books to read, no problem except he didn't have a library card and I did soo told him that he could borrow against mine. We got the books and he and I waited in line. He then asked how it all worked.
Him: So how much does it cost?
Me: For what?
Him: To get these books.
Me: Nothing dude, it's a library.
Him: Wow. (pauses) Well, ... you mean it really doesn't cost any money?
Me: No!
Him: Well ... what if you don't return them?
Me: (pauses and thinks carefully)... If you're late, they send a couple of big burly guys over to your house to beat the sh-- out of you.
Him: (totally serious) Really?

(true story)
:rolleyes:
 
D

Deuce

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I convinced my brother that Ozzy Osbourne and Super Dave Osbourne were brothers
 
K

Kempogeek

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Gin-Gin said:
Thanks, Steve. I was so tired that I thought it best not to say anything to them but trust me, I was tempted! :rofl:
In this day and age, maybe it was a good thing that you didn't say anything. Shows that you can handle stupidity with class. Course if he did wanted to start something, smart money would have been on you Gin with your years experience in Kenpo. The chances people take for being dumb. All the best, Steve
 

Zepp

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In my freshman year of college, I was one of those guys that was looked to by other people in the dorm for computer tech. support. The stupidest person I had to deal with was a girl who thought the best way to make Windows unfreeze was to unplug the power strip from the wall. I plugged it back in for her, and hit the reset button on the strip. She then asked me if I thought her work had been automatically saved before she unplugged it. :whip:
 

Eldritch Knight

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Gin-Gin's story about the tire-changing is just begging for a Bill Engvall "here's your sign" comeback. As a matter of fact, most of the stories here are.
 

Ender

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One time before a tournament, the host was going over the rules of sparring to the prospective BB judges. He stated that for the childrens' division, "Strikes to the head will not be allowed". He then got immediately asked "Are ax kicks to the head allowed?". He responded "there will be no strikes to the head". He was then asked "How about a punch on top of the head?" He replied "there will be no srikes to the head". He then got asked "how about crescent kicks to the side of the head?" The host then paused, looked a bit exasperated, then replied again "there will be no strikes to the head"......True story.
 
C

c2kenpo

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Ladies and Gentlmen,

It's stories like these that gave Bill Engvall his career. And yes true stories these 3 are as I share them with you.

In a book store at the counter paying for something what I can't recall when another customer comes up to the counter right from the front door never stopping to look anywhere and interrups my cashier to ask...

" Excuse me ... Where is the Self-Help section?"


I work in retail sales for furniture and bedding so I see a lot of dumfounded things every day. My favirtie is still this this date going to a customer to greet them and see what I can do to help them in there shopping.
#1
Me: "I see you are looking at X item. May I be of assistance?"

Customer: "Yeah Do you know if anyone is working here?"

#2
Me: "How are you doing today mam/sir?"
Customer: " No thanks, I'm just looking."
(I am still stunned by this)

#3
Me: "We accept X credit cards and checks as well as cash. How will you be paying today?"
Customer: " Do take checks?"


Proof that the only thing we hear is the last thing said to us.

David Gunzburg
 
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kid

kid

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psi_radar said:
You get college credit to learn how to build sailboats!?! I gotta go back to school.
They also give fishing and skiing classes. At least at my school they do.

Kid
 
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kid

kid

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arnisador said:
Ok, fine i was caught in my own thread about idiots. Writing not wrighting, my bad loks like everyone goes through a phase. Damn the English language and their same words meaning different things only spelt different. We do have all three of those classes at my school though.


Kid
 

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