Court Comments

KenpoTess

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Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice that I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr.. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy..

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
 
Ouch. That's funny!

I really feel bad for the perhaps mythical folks who said those things, though... that's gotta suck to be immortalized like that!
 
I have something to add (as usual :shrug: ).

An ex-nurse at my facility asked one of the aides if she would feed patient X. The aide looked at the patient and said "no". The nurse demanded to know why. The aide, deadpan, looked at her and said "He dead. I don't feed dead people".

This is absolutely true.
 

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