Children... In Danger!

[don bohrer]

What should a young child to do when an adult tries to take them by trickery of force. They could be in a store or outside, but in any event are seperated from family and guardians.

Lets focus this way, but feel free to add to the questions and scenarios to clarify.

What words should they Yell when aware of the danger?

What actions should they use take to escape before being grabbed or after?

Where should they try to run to if they aren't taken and don't really know where they are?

We've all scene a child in the store crying and throwing a fit. Sometimes even angry, red faced pushing against and adult carrying them. The little ones making so much ruckuss you can't tell really what's going on. Just maybe that kid is in real trouble. We as adults tend to chalk it up thinking there goes a brat or look at them... they didn't get what they wanted.

don

 

[Mon Mon]

Scream as loud as they can

 

[pknox]

Originally posted by Mon Mon
Scream as loud as they can

I agree. But what they scream can be very important too. As Don said, how many times have we seen an adult carrying a screaming child out of the store, and thought that the kid was just being a brat and the parent was taking them home? While chances are that is the case, what if it was actually an abduction? If a kid is yelling "No" or "Stop", you may not get much of a reaction -- my own children yell that in my own house if I tell them to go to their room. However, if the child's yelling, "Put me down, I don't know you!" or "Help me I'm being kidnapped!", my guess is some heads would turn. It's possible that it might only be a parent scolding a child, but better safe than sorry.

Other than yelling, I wouldn't advise a child to do anything else if people aren't around, as far as physical response. There is a distinct possibility the person could be armed, which would most likely result in a tragedy. If people are around, the child should endeavor to make eye contact with any other bystanders while yelling -- this makes them harder to ignore, as the person now has emotional involvement.

As to where to go, that depends where they are. What's shocking is how many abductions take place in public places. If it's a store, find a worker or go to the courtesy desk. If it's school, find a teacher. Unfortunately, if the child is alone, and not in an area where others are present, their kind of out of luck. At that point yell the phrases as loud as possible, and try to make the biggest scene possible. Hopefully the perpetrator will move on to an easier target.

Most importantly, talk to the child -- in a shocking number of abductions, the child knows their abductor, and walks out with them willingly. As parents, we need to teach children how to use their "bulls--t detector" -- if something sounds fishy, it probably is. Go find someone else to corroborate the story. You hate to say it, but you need to teach them that in a case like this, they really can't trust anyone.

 

[Shinzu]

i have always been told to yell "FIRE!!!!"

people's heads always turn. this is a big importance. your child must do what he / she must to gain the attention of other people.

or another idea is... keep watch of your children. i dont know how many times i see children wonder while mom or dads are "browsing". i do not let my kids out of my sight. it only takes a couple of seconds for a predator to snatch a kid. they are out there and they are watching.

always have them close by and walk with them. hold their hand, take them to the toy section... visit the video games, stop and take time for them. don't always be ready to send them on their way... there might be someone there that won't let them come back!!!

i'm sorry if i sound like a nut to some, when actually i just sound like a normal parent

 

[Nightingale]

what the law enforcement out here says is best to yell is:

YOU'RE NOT MY MOMMY!!!! (or daddy) HELP!!!!


this tells the folks around EXACTLY what's going on.

 

[MA-Caver]

Children as Shintzu said should always be supervised by their parents (or a responsible adult, i.e. teachers, babysitters, et al) at all times when out from the normal home environs.
It is correct when saying "what" a child yells is important. But it all depends upon the age of the child. A two or three or even a four year-old might not respond quickly enough to think. How do you get it into their heads that THIS is what they need to do when a "stranger" approaches them.
Sexual predators of children are wily, clever and very skilled at the art of luring the child away long enough to do what they want. But most of them do not act that way. It's a long drawn out process that I won't get into here but believe me I DO know how a majority of them operate. There are very-very few with the gnads to actually abduct a child out of the blue or even spontaneously...though it does happen. Knowing the pattern and modus operendai of these predators is important for every parent to know. But IMHO what more important is not allowing the opportunity to come up.
If the child in question (hypothetically of course) is of age where they are learning MA then there is still a worry but at least a parent can be comforted that the child is going to put up a fight. But anyone knows that one strong blow from (any) adult will render them quickly incapacitated.
Yelling and screaming yes that does draw attention, kicking and fighting against the adult will up the chances of escape. But as it was pointed out most people may spare a glance and think with varying degrees of pity: "bratty kid".
Most people may not want to take the extra couple of seconds to spare asking if everything is alright because of possible confrontations from the ACTUAL parent who does indeed have a spoilt bratty child. I mean "How DARE you?" so "It's none of my business" is the common thought.
Besides, how easy would it be for a predator to simply with a cool and feigned embarrassed smile, shrug and defuse the situation by saying "my kid wanted that barbie doll." Yes they can be that well composed.
Theres no easy answers for this because everyone raises their children differently than their neighbor. I've seen parents simply allow the tantrum to go on and others totally berate the kid and whomp thier bottoms at the check out in a busy Walmart.
I've found lost children before and made damn sure I was seen publically LOOKING for the parent. I try not to restrain them too much but do my best to ensure that they do not wander further away because it just might be where the (irresponsible) parent left them for "a couple of minutes."
Nope, no easy answers because it varies with the kid.

Ralph
sorry for ranting on and on and on and on

 

[tshadowchaser]

HELP< POLICE I NEED HELP
HELP, Where my Dadda(mommy)
HELP, someone help call police

 

[Cryozombie]

Originally posted by Nightingale
what the law enforcement out here says is best to yell is:

YOU'RE NOT MY MOMMY!!!! (or daddy) HELP!!!!


this tells the folks around EXACTLY what's going on.

This is what we taught children to yell in our stranger awareness classes...

 

[don bohrer]

There is some good stuff here guys. The child might have just one chance to yell something attention getting. I feel a child's best weapon is their (voice), and should be used first. Yelling should start right from the onset even before, during, and after being grabbed. A child should always assume someone is in earshot. If grabbed any actions such as biting and scratching are to enable the child free their mouth so they can yell.

Young children do not a real chance at taking down a predator. So all actions should be to alert adults to the fact that a stranger is trying to abduct them. Children should know their parents full names, address, and how to dial 911. It's also important to let them know when running away from an abductor they should try to get to a place where people are.

Training drills would go a long way here and are as important as any martial arts. This was brought up in a girl scout class that I was helping with. I found this training lacking at my school. I think it's worth covering and talking about. All the comments are greatly appreciated and welcomed.

BTW
How many of you guys and gals teach something like this at your school?

 

[Cryozombie]

Originally posted by don bohrer
BTW
How many of you guys and gals teach something like this at your school?

The school I currently attend has no childrens classes, or children. The hapkido school I priviously attended had a program just for this, and we did, as I stated above teach kids to yell and scream "This is not my Mom/Dad!"

The program was called "Stranger Awareness"

 

[don bohrer]

Technopunk

That sounds like a real good program. Do you know if "Stranger Awareness" is available as a program at the local Police Department? You don't have any paper work on it do you?

 

[Cryozombie]

I dont know... It has been YEARS since I attended that school, but I still talk to the Instructor occasionally, I would be happy to ask!

Or... now that I think about it... I dont know if she is still on this Board (I havnt seen any posts by her latley) but Patty is actually a student of that instructor, if she sees this post, she would obviously see the instructor before me, maybe she could find out???

 

[FUZZYJ692000]

Originally posted by Technopunk
The school I currently attend has no childrens classes, or children. The hapkido school I priviously attended had a program just for this, and we did, as I stated above teach kids to yell and scream "This is not my Mom/Dad!"

The program was called "Stranger Awareness"

That's a really good idea and is something I'll probably mention to my instructor as an aid to some of our kids. I've really enjoyed this sight. Another thing is that if a child is approached by a stranger at school or something and told that they were sent by the child's parents to pick them up...one of our things was that my parents had a secret code that they would give to that person to tell us. If they didn't know that code we weren't going any where with that person. I must say that yelling "help" and "i don't know you" or something along those lines would definitely get my attention to question the person

 

[don bohrer]

El Paso being a border town presents some special problems for abducted children. The Amber alert plan that is in effect doesn't notify the media for hours after a child is missing. This allows to much time for an abductor to get the child across the border, or past the check points leaving the El Paso area. So parents, teachers and friends have a responsibility to make sure children receive the best possible saftey training.

Here's a fact and a link to child safety.

http://www.ncjrs.org/html/ojjdp/psc_english_02/intro.html

Seventy-four percent of children who are kidnaped and later found murdered are killed within the first 3 hours after being taken

don

 

[TangSooGuy]

nice replies over all- my wife and i just taught a class recently on this very subject. I don't have a lot to add, but it's nice to see some good replies here..


Things we stressed to yell, loudly, were things like:

1. you're not my mom/dad...or you're a stranger
2. let go- I don't know you...
3. somebody help me! this is a stranger!
4 or just Help! Stranger! if they are too scared to remember anything else..

a big part of this class was helping kids realize that their voice can be one of their biggest weapons...all too often kids today are told they must keep their mouths shut or be quiet and well behaved, so as instructors sometimes we need to encourage them that in some cases it is RIGHT to yell as loud as they can...even as a distracting technique it can give them time to get away..which is another thing we stress...get out of there as soon as you can. I'm surprised how many if the kids would just stand there waiting for the ttacker to give up or go away, rather than leave the situation.

generally predators look for easy targets, and they might just let go of a screaming kid yelling the ight things...

Overall it was a fun class and a great learning experience. I wouldn't want to mess with those kids

 

[Nightingale]

the kindergarten teacher at the school I used to teach at used this concept, from softest to loudest:

"whisper voice" for small group stuff
"inside voice" for regular classroom q&a
"outside voice" for fun on the playground
"help me voice" for when you're in trouble.

she had the local PD come in and talk to the kids about "stranger danger" and what to say and how to yell for help.

 

[don bohrer]

If I can't find an organized program I am going to put one together. When I finish I'll post it to see what you guys think.

don

 

[lvwhitebir]

I've seen a few that already exist. Century MA has one, as does NAPMA. I bought one call Kid's Quick Defense that is really good, too. I can't remember the name of the school I bought it from however. I'll re-post when I think of it.

WhiteBirch

 

[Cruentus]

I could never get the whole "stranger" thing right when I was a kid. I used to yell, "Your not my mommy!" when my mom was actually around, which she disliked very much. Now-a-days I yell, "Who's your Daddy!" when I run into a stranger.

 

[Cruentus]

On the serious side:

I think that kid programs are vital, but many parents don't see the value, or don't recognize that this is something that their kids need.

I think that every elementary school should have what we used to call, "an assembly," where kids go to the gym or library to see a special presentation once a year on awareness and self defense. You don't need "techniques," just the mentality (how to say no, running, yelling, etc.)