Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Redneck?

Seig

Grandmaster
MTS Alumni
Joined
Apr 18, 2002
Messages
8,069
Reaction score
25
Location
Mountaineer Martial Arts - Shepherdstown,WV
Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Rednecks?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal ..40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

*********************

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 911?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

**************************

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

****************************

Redneck's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"
 

Rich Parsons

A Student of Martial Arts
Founding Member
Lifetime Supporting Member
MTS Alumni
Joined
Oct 13, 2001
Messages
16,850
Reaction score
1,084
Location
Michigan
Then there is the Rich way of doing it.

** Pull Gun and Fire ** Firearm explodes in your hands.

(Badguy) Dude that never happens.

(Me) Yeah what are the odds? :idunno:
 

shesulsa

Columbia Martial Arts Academy
MT Mentor
Lifetime Supporting Member
MTS Alumni
Joined
May 27, 2004
Messages
27,182
Reaction score
486
Location
Not BC, Not DC
Hmmm ... moving aside and letting him spear Jerry Falwell walking behind me wasn't an answer so ... ummm ... Independent? :boing1:
 

Kreth

Grandmaster
MTS Alumni
Joined
Aug 26, 2003
Messages
6,980
Reaction score
86
Location
Oneonta, NY
Fluffy said:
Bang (wound).....spinning hook/round/side combo......
Um... you misspelled spinning hook/get knife stuck in leg/round/side combo... :)
 

bustr

Orange Belt
Joined
Oct 5, 2002
Messages
67
Reaction score
3
Location
Bridge City, Texas
Republican's Answer:

Draw the gun but let him across the border into Pakistan. Make sure he is safe and that he is rewarded for pretending to attack you. Then bomb the **** out of a secular nation who has never attacked you.
 

Touch Of Death

Sr. Grandmaster
MTS Alumni
Joined
May 6, 2003
Messages
11,610
Reaction score
849
Location
Spokane Valley WA
Despite the common belief about redneck meaning you have a sunburn on your neck from hard work, the term Redneck is actualy another way of saying you are a union supporter and wear a red kerchief to show it. Specificly the Chicago Union. Anywhoo Redneck and Democrat mean the same thing.
Sean
 

Fluffy

Black Belt
Joined
Dec 12, 2005
Messages
645
Reaction score
3
Location
Snohomish, WA
Kreth said:
Um... you misspelled spinning hook/get knife stuck in leg/round/side combo... :)

Have you ever watch Walker TR, that would never happen! :idunno:
 

Kreth

Grandmaster
MTS Alumni
Joined
Aug 26, 2003
Messages
6,980
Reaction score
86
Location
Oneonta, NY
Fluffy said:
Have you ever watch Walker TR, that would never happen! :idunno:
Stuntmen, multiple takes, and variable camera speeds can do that for you...
 

Makalakumu

Gonzo Karate Apocalypse
MT Mentor
Joined
Oct 30, 2003
Messages
13,887
Reaction score
232
Location
Hawaii
I'm sure the wound that fluffy was talking about was the weapon hand...;)
 

Fluffy

Black Belt
Joined
Dec 12, 2005
Messages
645
Reaction score
3
Location
Snohomish, WA
upnorthkyosa said:
I'm sure the wound that fluffy was talking about was the weapon hand...;)

Yea.......yea......that's it! That's the ticket!

A just like good old Chuck, I'll have some stand in legs waiting just around the corner!
 

bluemtn

Senior Master
Joined
Jun 2, 2004
Messages
4,393
Reaction score
19
Location
W.Va.
Would you be singing your "Eyes of a Ranger" song as you do all of this?
 

Cujo

Blue Belt
Joined
Dec 17, 2005
Messages
244
Reaction score
1
Location
Ohio.
Redneck! But hey, I'm from Hicksville, Ohio so what do ya expect.

Pax
Cujo
 
K

Keite

Guest
That was great! LOL

Seig said:

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Democrats...We Republicans know how to keep things simple! ;)
 

Kreth

Grandmaster
MTS Alumni
Joined
Aug 26, 2003
Messages
6,980
Reaction score
86
Location
Oneonta, NY
Fluffy said:
Choice: Bang! or Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang ....................
I was thinking head shot vs. center mass... (and I happen to be an Independent)
 

Latest Discussions

Top