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A Solution to the War in Iraq
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A Solution to the War in Iraq
Description
I am offering the winning bidder the solution to the war in Iraq. This is not a flippant or facetious offer. There will be no joke forwarded to you if you are the winning bidder. If you are the high bidder, I will send you a viable solution to the conflict in which we are currently engaged. I am a Military Intelligence officer in the United States Army with an extensive background in the Middle East. I speak the language and understand the culture, history, and religion, well enough to construct a fair, honorable, and successful plan. I have spent time in Iraq as an enlisted intelligence Soldier during Desert Storm in 1991 and as an intelligence officer during this latest action.
I have been involved in the planning of over 400 combat operations and have personally participated in over 300 combat operations that ranged from terrorist cell take-downs to single-handed arms market raids. I do not lack courage or the ability to act.
I have headed humanitarian efforts that varied from toy drives to bridge building to educational support. I do not lack heart or the ability to feel.
My passion for this solution is genuine and my zeal is not misdirected. I do not demonize any group for the actions of a few but neither do I deify any group in some misguided attempt to show my open-mindedness. I have grieved for lost friends, both American and Iraqi, military and civilian. This war is not a concept, a philosophy, or a political agenda to me. It is a highly personal issue that I have applied an objective detachment to in order to arrive at a logical conclusion.
This war has currently cost us somewhere around FOUR HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS and over 3500 American lives. My buy it now price of five million seems perfectly reasonable by comparison. I'm not even asking you to risk your life. Unfortunately, sometimes it seems that the most valuable things in life are the least valued. For this reason I am starting the bidding at only one dollar. Just to sweeten the pot a little, I will not only send you the solution but I will also make myself available to you for two hours to further explain my solution and answer any possible questions that you may have. (Transportation costs are the sole responsibility of the winning bidder if they choose to exercise this option.) If you work for a senator or congressman or a possible presidential hopeful, maybe you should get everyone at the office to chip in and purchase my solution for them. Some of them might even be able to foot the bill themselves.
