Wong Training

Discussion in 'The Great Debate' started by MonkgWong, Apr 30, 2020.

  1. Steve

    Steve Mostly Harmless

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    While it's been a long time, I trained as a mystic and kung fu expert in China for a time.

    Legend told of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend..." A mysterious kung fu master in a flowing cape and sedge hat who walked through the Chinese landscape. Reputed to be a grand master of kung fu, he entered a tavern where he was immediately attacked by the local ruffians. However, they are no match for his skill and even the legendary kung fu masters, the Furious Five, bow down to the the dragon warrior's skill, requesting to hang out with him and fight alongside him as...

    I woke up from this dream in my room. My father, Mr. Ping calls to me from the noodle restaurant below to help serve tables. Before I went downstairs, I admired my Furious Five action figures. I was a fan... no, an extreme fan of Kung Fu, and I dreamt of one day becoming a master worthy of fighting alongside the Five but mygirth and clumsiness made that dream seem unrealistic, and let's be honest. My kung fu experience was academic. I had an encyclopedic knowledge of moves and artifacts, but had never trained under a master. I never told my dad. I was hesitant to express my desires to my dad who was always more interested in running his restaurant and advertising his famous 'secret ingredient soup'.

    Master Shifu, a red panda who resides at the Jade Palace temple, practices kung fu every day in the courtyard with his students, the Furious Five: masters of the tiger, crane, monkey, viper, and mantis styles. Master Shifu studied under Grand Master Oogway. Fearing something was wrong, Shifu rushed to find him meditating in the grand hall. Oogway calmly told Shifu he's predicted that the snow leopard warrior, Tai Lung, will escape prison and return to the Valley of Peace to wreak destruction once again.

    GM Oogway then proclaims that it is time to choose the Dragon Warrior; a master of great skill who will be granted the secrets of the universe by reading the Dragon Scroll, kept delicately out of reach on the temple ceiling. Assuming that one of the Furious Five will be chosen, Shifu prepares a competition to determine which one will qualify.

    Flyers for the competition were spread throughout town and the villagers flock to the temple. Excited to have the opportunity to see my idols in person, I followed with my noodle cart in tow but, those stairs were murder. I was the last to arrive at the gates and found myself shut out. In a desperate bid to see the competition before it's over, I fashioned fireworks to the cart and blasted myself high into the air, only to come crashing down in the arena just as Oogway is preparing to choose out of the Five. Long story short, I'm the dragon warrior. And no one was more surprised that me!

    Renewed with a sense of determination, I rose the next morning before anyone else and announced that I will stay to train. I trained a lot. And eventually, was a master of my own style: chubby panda style.

    Meanwhile, Tai Lung, the bad guy, escaped from prison. After a protracted battle with Tai Lung, I learned that I had everything I needed in order to be the dragon warrior... inside. I mean, in my heart. Together with my friends, we could overcome any obstacle.
     
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  2. Steve

    Steve Mostly Harmless

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    Then there was the time, when I was training to be the last dragon while living in NYC. I was just trying to reach that last level, but this guy... called himself the Shogun of Harlem, was being a real jerk. I kicked his ***, and you know what? I learned that I could catch bullets with my teeth... with my TEETH! And my master, who was a real trickster, had given me a belt and sent me on a questionable trip through a series of racist stereotypes in order to reach the final level. And he gave me a belt buckle... can you believe it? Phhffff. That was quite an adventure.
     
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  3. MonkgWong

    MonkgWong Yellow Belt

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    To answer the issue of an audiobook - I will be releasing "I've Done It All Wong", my autobiography that documents my rise from youngling through to warrior and finally monk in ebook form. I hadn't considered recording an audiobook, but if there is appetite I will consider it. I am very happy to take advice here as I don't know the space well, and I am very humble so I will listen attentively to experts.
     
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  4. Flying Crane

    Flying Crane Sr. Grandmaster

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    Oh yeah, humble, that’s really important. I’m humble too. I mean really humble. I hardly ever talk about the great deeds I’ve a accomplished. It’s just great to be so humble, as I am sure you understand.
     
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  5. MonkgWong

    MonkgWong Yellow Belt

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    In fairness to me I was described as "humble" by the Abbot of the Tiger Temple, so it's not like I'm just saying that about myself - it's someone else's opinion.
     
  6. Kung Fu Wang

    Kung Fu Wang Grandmaster

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    There are no pictures and no videos on your website.

    Could you share a picture or video of yourself?
     
  7. Buka

    Buka Sr. Grandmaster

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    Dirty Monk Dog does have a rather catchy ring to it. Heck, that could be a movie title.
     
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  8. Steve

    Steve Mostly Harmless

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    Will there be an American Sign Language version of your audio book available? I don't read ASL yet, but I plan to learn.
     
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  9. Flying Crane

    Flying Crane Sr. Grandmaster

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    Oh of course! And I just thought I would mention that in addition to being humble I am enlightened. I mean really. I reached enlightenment. I am hella enlightened. My mom told me so.
     
  10. Lee (Bagua Jitsu)

    Lee (Bagua Jitsu) White Belt

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    I look forward to the imminent publication and distribution of your new autobiographical audiobook, Master. I very much enjoyed your first book, 'How to Train the Wong Way', which I probably use something of every day in my life. It's not just a martial arts manual but, and perhaps more importantly, a set of philosophical tenets to live by.

    Before I started training under Monk Wong (and initially Abbot Wu, though I dare not speak his name out loud due to what happened in the past) I was a simple neophyte, ferociously bullied by the ne'er-do-wells living in my council estate. These days I walk around without a care in the world, with nothing but a humble fishing rod at my side; a reminder of the great man who has put me on the path of righteousness in life.

    Very happy to share my copy of Master Wong's first book with anyone interested—the act of sharing, after all, is one of the tenets of Tiger Temple.
     
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  11. Steve

    Steve Mostly Harmless

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    GrandMaster Oogway once asked me the question, "Why is a solitary lion humbled?" I meditated for a while before the answer came to me in a flash. "Master, it is because he has no pride."
     
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  12. MonkgWong

    MonkgWong Yellow Belt

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    Lee Bagua Jitsu - fear not the audiobook is on the way. Lee kindly funded and then reviewed ‘How to Train the Wong Way’ under my instruction, giving it 5/5. As Lee knows I am incredibly generous to my students and offer large discounts on all my courses, books, articles, podcasts and ornaments to those who have paid for the Wong initiation. If anyone is interested please do not hesitate to get in touch.

    Lee speaks the truth. When I met him - online - he was nothing but a lily-livered roughneck. Abbot Wu - ruddy scoundrel as he is - had trained Lee (online) in the way of deadly combat, but not in the way of the peaceful grass snake. Lee was lost in a tornado of souls… but then he came across my online temple and contacted me. I gave him the following audio courses -

    1. Introduction to Wong Style - USD 100
    2. Introduction to the meditative practices of Wong - USD 100
    3. The Way of the Wong; a detailed history of the school - USD 100
    4. Wong conditioning - USD 100
    5. A free fishing rod to remind Lee of Monk Wong’s humble origins - USD 100

    Lee Bagua Jitsu is now one of the wisest warriors to have emerged from the Online Wong Temple. Perhaps some of you should take a course or two?
     
  13. Kung Fu Wang

    Kung Fu Wang Grandmaster

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    In order to convince people to study with you, do you think you should at least to put up one of your video first?
     
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  14. MonkgWong

    MonkgWong Yellow Belt

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    As stated above my courses are audio not video - I am happy to give you a discount on the Introduction to Wong Style if you are interested?
     
  15. Flying Crane

    Flying Crane Sr. Grandmaster

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    I would like four free fishing poles, one each for my family members. If the Covd-19 situation gets worse and a meat shortage ensues (I see Wendy’s is out of beef at many locations!!!) I may need the fishing poles to survive the pandemic. To where can I send my cheque for $400, to obtain my four free fishing poles? And is shipping also free for $50?
     
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  16. Kung Fu Wang

    Kung Fu Wang Grandmaster

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    Audio? Are we talking about MA teaching here? Can someone learn MA through audio?

    MA is

    - what you can do with your body.
    - not what you can say with your mouth.
     
  17. Flying Crane

    Flying Crane Sr. Grandmaster

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    This is very generous. Can you email me a scanned copy? Or just post it in its entirety on Googledocs or something? I would be happy to review the book and post my thoughts and impressions here in the forums.
     
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  18. MonkgWong

    MonkgWong Yellow Belt

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    Flying Crane - I am very happy to provide the fishing rods to remind you of my humble origins. Please send me your email address and I will send you the payment details.

    Kung Fu Wang - Grandmaster Yang was taught by a blind monk known only as Lu. Consequently the tradition has been passed down orally and we consider videos to be a tool of the foolish. In our school we teach with words and then move with the body. I think you would benefit greatly from ‘Introduction to Wong Style’ - it’s only USD 100. Treat yourself.
     
  19. Flying Crane

    Flying Crane Sr. Grandmaster

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    Silly wabbit. Twicks are for kids...
     
  20. MonkgWong

    MonkgWong Yellow Belt

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    Please don't troll Flying Crane - I'm trying to discuss the serious tradition of the Wong style here.123
     

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