the Urinal test!

Discussion in 'The Comedy Cafe' started by mrhnau, Sep 24, 2008.

  1. mrhnau

    mrhnau Senior Master

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    Men should ace this test ... women may have a little difficulty.
    There IS a code of "Restroom Etiquette" that MUST be followed.
    ===============================================

    The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room.
    An X above the number will indicate "in use."

    (Sample):

    | | | x | | | x | (Indicates that urinals 3 and 6
    | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | are occupied.)
    -------------------------

    You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at
    which stall you are to stand. Good luck!

    --------------------
    Easy Section
    --------------------
    1.)

    | | x | | x | | | (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.)
    | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
    -------------------------

    Your choice: ___
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    Correct answer: 6 It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy
    instinctively knows this.
    ===============================================
    2.)

    | x | | | | | | (Urinal 1 occupied.)
    | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
    -------------------------

    Your choice: ___
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    Correct answer: 6 Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a
    greater risk of being next to someone
    who arrives later.
    ===============================================
    -------------------------
    Kind of tricky Section:
    -------------------------
    3.)

    | | | | | | | (empty)
    | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
    --------------------------

    Your choice: __
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    Correct answer: 1 or 6 You are tacitly saying,
    "I don't want anyone next to me."
    ===============================================
    4.)

    | | x | | x | | x | (2, 4 and 6 occupied)
    | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
    -------------------------

    Your choice: ___
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    Correct answer: 1 You're stuck being next to at
    least ONE guy, so you minimize the
    impact and get a wall on your left.
    NEVER go between TWO guys if you
    can help it. Exceptions to this
    are stadium restrooms where the
    herd thunders in.
    ===============================================
    -----------------------------------------------
    Subtle, tricky, but important to know Section
    -----------------------------------------------
    5.)

    | | x | | | x | x | (2, 5 and 6 occupied)
    | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
    -------------------------

    Your choice: __
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    Correct answer: 4 Believe it or not, 1 and 3 "couples"
    you with the guy in stall 2. And we
    wouldn't want THAT now, would we?

    This differs from question 4 in such a
    subtle way that the nuances cannot be
    explained. Suffice to say, only we men
    would understand!
    ===============================================
    -----------------------------
    VERY tricky indeed Section
    -----------------------------
    6.)

    | x | x | | | x | x | (1, 2, 5 and 6 occupied)
    | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
    -------------------------

    Your choice: ___
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    Correct answer: NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend to
    comb your hair or straighten a tie
    until the urinals "open up" a bit more.
    If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD, for
    god's sake! ... use a doored stall.
    ===============================================
    Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:
    -- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep
    it terse and unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse.
    -- I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of
    anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is of
    the highest offense.
    -- NO Singing. Period.
    -- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see
    you there. I will not look again".
     
  2. mrhnau

    mrhnau Senior Master

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    Bob, any good way to clear up the removal of extra spaces? that is totally unreadable!
     
  3. MA-Caver

    MA-Caver Sr. Grandmaster

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    I've seen a drawing diagram of this... or a flash type quiz where you select which urinal to stand in when there are others using the ones they're at... it's supposed to determine if you're gay or not... pretty stupid... THIS says if you're gay or not...
     

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  4. Kwanjang

    Kwanjang 3rd Black Belt

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    Caver, you come up with some cool stuff
     
  5. DavidCC

    DavidCC Master of Arts

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    I once ran across a flash game with this same "test", animated, hilarious.
     
  6. CoryKS

    CoryKS Senior Master

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    Took the flash test once and aced it. Funny, but also enlightening. I had never really put much thought into my choice of locations, but it turns out there's a pretty predictable pattern.
     
  7. punisher73

    punisher73 Senior Master

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    Funny yes, but you would be surprised how many guys still fail it. I was in the bathroom not to long ago and there were 4 urinals. ALL of them were empty when I got there. So, I chose the one closest to the wall on my right so I could still be aware of who else might come in etc.

    Anyways, this guy comes in shortly after and picks the one RIGHT next to me, no buffer urinal or anything...RIGHT next to me. My first thought was literally, WTF!?!
     
  8. DavidCC

    DavidCC Master of Arts

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    maybe he was hitting on you.
     
  9. shesulsa

    shesulsa Columbia Martial Arts Academy

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    Sheesh. I'm a girl and I passed it.
     
  10. celtic_crippler

    celtic_crippler Senior Master

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    That's when I pee on their shoe.....:)
     
  11. MA-Caver

    MA-Caver Sr. Grandmaster

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    :lol: hell yeah!!

    I don't need that kind of test actually... mainly because I don't care. If I gotta go and there's only three stalls and two of them are full ... I'm gonna go (buffers or none) and just do what I need to do. It by no means say "he's gay" to me. I know I'm not gay and don't plan to be anytime in the near future. As far as I see it just guys needing to obey bodily functions.
    I think the test was created by homophobic idiots.
     
  12. DavidCC

    DavidCC Master of Arts

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    gay.
     
  13. Brian R. VanCise

    Brian R. VanCise MT Moderator Staff Member

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    Now that thur is funny! :rofl:

    Seriously it is a simple test. [​IMG]123
     

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