...or "Rock, Scissors, Paper, Mushy Peas, Hammer"
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/manchester/6369773.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/manchester/6369773.stm
Secret Self Defense Weapons of Britain
- Thread starter tellner
- Start date
Shaderon
Master of Arts
Yea for Bolton's mushy peas!!! :goop:
I say good for the shop owner!! Its nice to see people fight back, rather than be a victim. On the other hand however, we often hear people say that its better to hand over whatever the bad guy wants, and you won't get hurt. But, there is nothing to say that after you had over the money, that you still won't end up getting shot, stabbed or in this case, hit with a hammer.
Mike
Mike
And to think that some people complain about British cookingwe have clear evidence here that it's a lifesaver!
Cruentus
Grandmaster
lol Who needs firearms for self-defense, when 60 year olds can take a few hits to the head with a hammer before they drop their peas on the bad guy...
charyuop
Black Belt
That's what I would put in the news:
2 60 year old people were target of a robbery. The thief was armed with a hammer. The couple was so scared that couldn't keep control, but that saved their lives. The thief slipped on their pees fallin on the floor....
2 60 year old people were target of a robbery. The thief was armed with a hammer. The couple was so scared that couldn't keep control, but that saved their lives. The thief slipped on their pees fallin on the floor....
Steel Tiger
Senior Master
I'd much rather use mushy peas as a weapon than eat them that's for sure!
I bet they could've done some real damage with bangers and mash.
I bet they could've done some real damage with bangers and mash.
They don't call them bangers for nothing, you can bet! And `mash'? After they's used the `bangers' on you? What could be more obvious?!!
Steel Tiger
Senior Master
Truly though the greatest secret weapon in Britain today is the fearsome, and knida stinky, pickled egg.
Yes, so I've heard... although, while it's unquestionably a weapon (and a fearsome one!), I don't see how it could be kept.... uh, secret... for very long....
Steel Tiger
Senior Master
You would think that the secret could not last, but the British have followed a cunning scheme of obfuscation for many years. To hide the deadliness they actually eat the eggs on occasion. Of course of all those who have felt the full force of a fully operational pickled egg none have lived to tell the tale.
Shaderon
Master of Arts
People EAT them eggs? You gotta be kidding me! they look disgusting!
Just having them in a jar on the counter is weapon enough. :barf:
Just having them in a jar on the counter is weapon enough. :barf:
- Thread Starter
- #14
Now that I've let the secret out I fully expect a visit from ninja dressed like Manchester supporters to break into my house armed with mushy peas, Iron Bru, and deadly cold greasy toast shuriken.
The real reason the British conquered half the world was to find decent food. Mystery Meat Vindaloo is a joke the Indians played on them. The really funny part is that the Brits haven't caught onto it yet.
The real reason the British conquered half the world was to find decent food. Mystery Meat Vindaloo is a joke the Indians played on them. The really funny part is that the Brits haven't caught onto it yet.
Shaderon
Master of Arts
Hey we've caught on to it, we know Vindaloo is a place name, we just changed the recipe from dog to rat and smile secretly at the people laughing at us. We're Mancunians remember, we'll eat anything! Just visit our "Greek" chippies for proof. *Don's black pajamas and a Balaclava as fancy dress, grabs a bowl of mushy peas and some cold toast* You know guns are illegal in Britain? well who needs em!
But wait...
... I have to speak up about one honorable exception to all the slanging going on about British cooking. I've spent more than my share of time in British real ale pubs... actually I've spent more than any random group of three people's fair share of time in British pubs, thinking back on it objectively... and I have had some terrific meals in those places. About the best duck I've ever had anywhere was in a terrific Real Ale pub in a lovely country village called Cavendish in Suffolk (this was a memorable evening not only because of the duck, but because my son, just a shade over two at the time, sank wearily into his chair when we were seated and announced in ringing tones, `I NEED A BEER!'—something he'd heard me say enought time during that particular visit that it seemed worth repeating I suppose... I wasn't dead keen on the looks I got from some of the patrons next to us)... my experience has been that the food in British pubs, the ones that serve Real Ale anyway, is consistently good, well prepared and of clearly excellent quality ingredients, and way less expensive that what you find in toney restaurants. A lot of pubs have in fact shifted their emphasis from the drinking aspect of an evening out to the meals themselves... clearly there's a good market for that in a lot of places in the UK.
My first act on landing at Heathrow is usually to seek out a copy of the CAMRA Good Beer guide for that year, which also now offers short but usually quite accurate assessments of the food on offer. I've never yet found myself short of a good place to both drink and eat by going on their recommendations. And not one of the places I've ever been in has mushy peas or pickled eggs on the menu—I know about them because, long ago when I lived in Victoria, I had a friend from the Midlands who warned me about them and a few other things. So you can stay out of the `hot weapons' zones, if you do some planning... :wink1:
... I have to speak up about one honorable exception to all the slanging going on about British cooking. I've spent more than my share of time in British real ale pubs... actually I've spent more than any random group of three people's fair share of time in British pubs, thinking back on it objectively... and I have had some terrific meals in those places. About the best duck I've ever had anywhere was in a terrific Real Ale pub in a lovely country village called Cavendish in Suffolk (this was a memorable evening not only because of the duck, but because my son, just a shade over two at the time, sank wearily into his chair when we were seated and announced in ringing tones, `I NEED A BEER!'—something he'd heard me say enought time during that particular visit that it seemed worth repeating I suppose... I wasn't dead keen on the looks I got from some of the patrons next to us)... my experience has been that the food in British pubs, the ones that serve Real Ale anyway, is consistently good, well prepared and of clearly excellent quality ingredients, and way less expensive that what you find in toney restaurants. A lot of pubs have in fact shifted their emphasis from the drinking aspect of an evening out to the meals themselves... clearly there's a good market for that in a lot of places in the UK.
My first act on landing at Heathrow is usually to seek out a copy of the CAMRA Good Beer guide for that year, which also now offers short but usually quite accurate assessments of the food on offer. I've never yet found myself short of a good place to both drink and eat by going on their recommendations. And not one of the places I've ever been in has mushy peas or pickled eggs on the menu—I know about them because, long ago when I lived in Victoria, I had a friend from the Midlands who warned me about them and a few other things. So you can stay out of the `hot weapons' zones, if you do some planning... :wink1:
- Thread Starter
- #17
Exile, you are right about British beer. Many years ago I started at the Princess Anne, went to the Sun and can't remember which pubs were next on the crawl, so the beer must have been good Now I live in the Great Pacific North Wet and can be as much of a beer snob as any Pom!
Now I live in the Great Pacific North Wet and can be as much of a beer snob as any Pom!
Exile, you are right about British beer. Many years ago I started at the Princess Anne, went to the Sun and can't remember which pubs were next on the crawl, so the beer must have been good
I have to say, I've had bitter style beers in brewpubs in Oregon and Washington (as wel as British Columbiathe late lamented Spinnakers in Victoria in particular) that were still better than any Real Ales I've encountered in the UK, and I've sampled most of the great craft beers there on cask (or on gravity, in rare cases when I got luckier than I've any right be be)Adnam's, Youngs, Fullers, Morland's... but the depth and power of some of the PNW beers is indescribable... you `had to be there'.
Actually, we're lucky: we have a brewpub, Barley's, in Columbus, whose owner/brewmaster apprenticed to a couple of British regional breweries for several years before coming back to the US and opening his own pub, and his stuff is possibly the best I've every hadcertain specific brews, anywayvery, very hoppy, but with such good malt balance that you don't feel blown away by the hop edge, which can sometime happen, even to me, a lifelong hop fanatic, when drinking some of the (excellent) hop-encrusted beers from e.g. Stone Brewing Co. I love Ruination Ale, but every so often, it's just a little too much. The Centennial IPA at Barley's is just as hoppy but the malt component balances it without neutralizing it... so good...
...um, OK, I'll shut up now... be back in a second, just going to get a beer ...
Steel Tiger
Senior Master
Now a deep fried Mars Bar is pretty odd but it is pretty tough to go past a beationg with a black pudding followed by a dessert walloping with a spotted dick.
